A girl doesn't start out thinking that one day she'll be a cougar - a single woman in her 40s who prowls the club scene hoping to sink her teeth into younger men - but it happens. And if we can suspend disbelief for just 30 minutes and watch Cougar Town Wednesdays on ABC, we might buy that Courteney Cox is one. Sure, that's a stretch, but it is an all-too-real situation for some women and an all-too-lucky break for young men everywhere. So grab the concealer and a heaping helping of Wonderbra; we're throwing a Cougar Town party!

Setting the scene:

To set the proper tone we suggest hanging a banner over your front door that reads "Welcome to Cougar Town!" with a smaller sign at the door that says "Taste Testing in Progress." You see, the girls aren't exactly subtle. And in an effort to prove they've still got it, cougars are willing to give it away (see the aforementioned lucky young men). But they realize a little maintenance might be in order, so fill one section of the room with the latest fads in exercise equipment to tone up those flabby arms and jiggling thighs and that bulging waistline: a ThighMaster, yoga mat, exercise balls, Ab Circle Pros, Perfect Pushups, a mini trampoline and a Denise Austin Mini Stepper Plus. Offer everyone a "Go Cougars" button from the Brigham Young University bookstore. Have a few life-sized cardboard cutouts of Zac Efron and Chace Crawford - shirtless if possible. Feel free to raffle them off during the night. Party favors can include gift certificates for Brazilian waxes, TakeOuts Breast Enhancers, Spanx and Yummie Tummies. To add to the fun, feel free to send an invite to a local frat house.

Attire:

It doesn't matter what you wear as long as it's low cut and has Wonderbra underpinnings. Think a nice leopard-print wrap dress from Diane von Furstenberg. If all else fails, suggest the "40 Is the New 20" T-shirts from the "Cougar Town" store on ABC.com.

On the menu:

Raw meat! Actually, cougars tend to eat only during happy hour, so load up on appetizers from T.G.I. Friday's: mozzarella sticks, cheddar and bacon potato skins, chicken quesadillas, Buffalo wings, and popcorn chicken. And don't forget the full bar!

On the hi-fi:

Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel, Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne, Maggie May by Rod Stewart, See You When You're 40 by Dido, Grown Woman by Mary J. Blige.

The showstopper:

For those of us on the seven-year plan for our associate's degree, there is a certain something that makes us not want to turn off Community, the new comedy airing Thursdays on NBC. And while that "something" could be that it is remarkably funny or well written, the honest truth is that it's more fun than studying for our third try at Latin 101. (Seriously, tempus fugit, professor!) And any time you can get Chevy Chase and Joel McHale to take Spanish from a guy named Senor Chang, you'll get an A for effort. Trust us, the prerequisite for a good time is inviting your friends and neighbors to our Community party!

Setting the scene:

The Group Study Room at Greendale Community College is a horrifying blend of glass, industrial carpeting, long wooden tables and chairs meant for standing. But community college itself is so much more: primarily a confusing array of offices and forms. Pick your local C.C. and hand-make signs for the admissions office, registrar's office and financial aid office. Hang pennants, diplomas, parking tickets - it is a community college, after all - and admission packets on all the walls. The key is to have as much college-related paraphernalia as possible, and that includes a corkboard wall covered in fliers for everything from "Roommate Wanted" to "Used Books For Sale" to "Open Mic at the Union." Make sure they have plenty of tear-off tabs. Copy as many campus maps as you can and hand them out during orientation (as soon as everyone arrives). Give everyone a spiral notebook and No. 2 pencil along with the Cliff's Notes to "Hamlet."

Attire:

Back to school, of course! Suggest cardigans, college sweatshirts, college baseball caps, sweatpants and sneakers. And in a nod to Pierce Hawthorne (Chase), a nice turtleneck under a sport coat.

On the menu:

Serve huge 48-cut pizzas on a table set up as the bookstore's book sale. Use old textbooks and notebooks as the decorative element.

On the hi-fi:

Adult Education by Hall & Oates, Chalkdust Torture by Phish, Army by Ben Folds Five, Graduation Day by the Beach Boys, Going Away to College by Blink-182, Hot for Teacher by Van Halen, Mark Me Absent by the Clash.

The showstopper:

For too many years we've been restrained by the notion that models are empty-headed mannequins capable of little more than walking in straight lines and lounging on motor yachts in the Mediterranean. But thanks to Models of the Runway, airing Thursdays on Lifetime, we can add talking and eye rolling to the mix! The behind-the-scenes look at the other people with something to prove on Project Runway has given us a reason to stay up Thursday nights and left us wondering if we should pluck our eyebrows with more regularity. So if you like getting dressed up and told you look gorgeous, call your friends; we're throwing a Models of the Runway party!

Setting the scene:

If you've never been backstage at a fashion show while all the models are changing and getting their hair and makeup done, you are really missing out - because it is one hot mess. To re-create the look, you'll need to buy a bunch of clothes and throw them all over the place (don't forget the thongs!). Add a few model forms with dresses in various states of completion (it's a lot easier to take them apart than put them back together). In one corner have a L'Oreal Paris makeup station while in another add the Garnier hair studio. You can hire a makeup artist and a hairstylist to make up guests during the evening. Then, once things have settled in and everyone looks gorgeous, have guests walk a makeshift runway down the middle of the room. Best walk wins makeup, hair products, copies of Marie Claire magazine and DVDs of other seasons of "PR. "

Attire:

Guests will need to work the runway, so encourage them to dress to impress or come ready to wear whatever outfit they can piece together from the aforementioned piles on the floor.

On the menu:

Models and food go together like Billy Joel and the open road, so we suggest a huge buffet table set up with a single small plate of Wheat Thins aside a pyramid of sparkling water.

On the hi-fi:

Supermodel (You Better Work) by RuPaul, Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous by RuPaul, Cover Girl (Put the Bass in Your Walk) by RuPaul, Snapshot by RuPaul, Workout by RuPaul, Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get by RuPaul.

The showstopper:

Setting the scene:
Throwing a football-themed bash doesn't require a whole lotta thought -- strategically place a few footballs, shoulder pads and cheerleaders around the room, and you're good to go -- but if you hyper-focus on the teams and their respective cities, it helps generate a little more passion in the rivalry. This week, we are celebrating two of the greatest cities in the country that tend to fall completely out of the American consciousness: Denver and Chicago. One is mile high; the other is mile wide. One has Western flair; the other, delays at O'Hare. So get out your jigsaw and build a personal-size snowcapped Rocky Mount. You'll need some plywood, some green paint and that spray-on fake snow from the bottom of your Christmas ornament box. If your mountains come out crappy, paint them red and say it's Red Rocks. And since they enjoy home-field advantage for this game, lay out a Milliken & Company Broncos home-field area rug. To represent Chicago, we've chosen the two things it's best known for: Oprah and wind. So cover one side of the room with covers of O magazine and get an industrial fan. Add to that a Bears rocker recliner and a Topperscot Bears yard light, and you're good to go.

Attire:
It goes without saying that guests need to pick one team or the other. Team jerseys, hats, T-shirts, sweatshirts, sneakers, slippers, mascot hats, football heads, etc., are absolutely required.

On the menu:
Denver lovers get served Denver omelets, thick steaks and Coors Light. Bears lovers get deep-dish pizzas; sausage, peppers and onions; and cheesecake.

On the hi-fi:
Rocky Mountain High by John Denver, Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead by Warren Zevon, My Kind of Town and Chicago by Frank Sinatra, The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace.

The showstopper:
You think you're a real fan? Well not so fast, buddy. True fans put their money where their mouths are, so order a giant inflatable football helmet that's large enough to watch the game in from Landmark Creations. You've probably seen pro and college teams run out through them during introductions. They're awesome. And you should buy one.

All we ever knew about Egypt we learned from Steve Martin's King Tut bit. So when Egyptologist Kara Cooney started the six-part series Out of Egypt, premiering Monday, Aug. 24, on Discovery Channel, we were fascinated by her lack of dance skills and general disinterest that he was "born in Arizona" or "got a condo made of stone-a." Still there are a lot of other fascinating facts Cooney serves up in an attempt to demystify and "desensationalize" the legends of ancient Egypt. (Yep, every party needs a pooper.) So call your friends; we're heading Out of Egypt.

Setting the scene:

Sure, Egypt might seem like a giant bowl of dust wedged precariously against Libya and Sudan, but the truth is ... umm, yeah... well, let's focus on the positives -- the stuff Kara wants us to ignore! We're going for an inner-chamber-of-a-pyramid look here, so you'll need sand (safesand.stores.yahoo.net) on the floor, walls made of huge blocks of limestone -- which you can simulate by painting sheets of Styrofoam (www.lowes.com) tan -- and then load up on the artifacts. Virtually everything you need can be found at Museum Store Company (museumstorecompany.com), such as canopic jars (perfect for pickles or internal organs of mummies), reliefs of Anubis or Isis, busts of Nefertiti or Ramses II, statues of black cats, scarabs, a sphinx and, of course, the funerary mask of King Tutankhamen ("he gave his life for tourism"). For extra realism, get your hands on a fake sarcophagus of stone or gold. Add a few fake torches on the walls to add some flavor. Invitations should be written in hieroglyphics.

Attire:

Not everyone was Ramses or Cleopatra, but robes and headdresses are oh, so stylish that we can't discourage them. A nice asp armband, leather sandals and Abba-quality blue eye shadow should get Pharaoh's attention -- as will wrapping yourself head to toe in medical gauze.

On the menu:

Lamb kebabs, koushari (lentils, macaroni, rice and chickpeas), flatbread, figs and dates -- any of which can be served out of the aforementioned canopic jars or miniature sarcophagus. Beverage of choice: beer (just one more reason to love Egyptians).

On the hi-fi:

Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles, King Tut by Steve Martin, Little Egypt by The Coasters, Egyptian Tomb by Mighty Baby, anything by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs.

The showstopper:

If Cooney has taken some of the fun out of the pharaoh, throw this shindig at Luxor Las Vegas, the coolest pyramid/hotel/casino this side of the Nile. And remember, what happens in Egypt stays in Egypt (unless you're Howard Carter).

Remember when the world was a simpler place? A place with knights and fair maidens, castles and moats, dragons and wizards? Well, according to Merlin, airing Sundays on NBC, that's how things were. There was no dependence on foreign oil, and everyone was just fine with only three major networks. Plus, dressing in robes and carrying swords was cool. So if your name is Arthur, and your dining room table is round, do what you've got to do and call your peeps, 'cuz it's time for a Merlin party!

Setting the scene:

Think Renaissance festival. Merlin is set squarely in medieval England, so if your home is your castle -- and we literally mean a castle -- you are way ahead of the game. If not, get your hands on some spired marquee tents and plant a few banners and pennants in the front yard. Check into renting oxen for the day. Once inside, work the dungeon angle and paint faux-dungeon walls on sheets and hang. Add a stock, ball and chain, and dungeon chains for any ne'er-do-wells. Scatter hay on the floor. On the "walls," add decorative shields and banners. Add some weapons such as crossbows, daggers, swords, axes and maces because times were hard, and purity only got Lancelot so far. Invitations should be on parchment paper and written in Old English calligraphy. Deliver via flaming arrow at your own risk.

Attire:

Thanks to the popularity of Renaissance festivals, you can dress like a serf, a king, a priest or a knight if you're willing to write a check. Trust us, these costumes will make Halloween a lot easier from now on, so consider a nice chain-mail chain-mail coif. If you are cheap, get yourself a nice bathrobe and a bowl haircut and call it a day.

On the menu:

Ahh, mead. It's good for what ales ya. Ha! In the time of Merlin, it wasn't so much what you ate -- although any game such as pheasant or deer was good stuff -- but what you ate on. Use goblets, chalices, and metal platters and plates.

On the hi-fi:

In short, there's simply not a more congenial spot for happily-ever-aftering than someplace playing the soundtrack to Camelot. For the more authentic among you, we suggest going Baroque. (Which you will after you've paid for this party. Ha!)

The showstopper:

OK, so you've got some maidens wandering on your front lawn, but what this party needs is a moat and a working drawbridge. If you've got the cash, call a trusted contractor. If you're poor, get your hands on two rectangular inflatable kiddie pools and place a refrigerator box in between them that has had the front and back cut down the sides.

Wood. It does a body good. Well, you know, for shelter and stuff.

And you can thank a logger, such as the guys on American Loggers airing Thursday on Discovery Channel, for that -- you know, for your walls and roof and furniture and, well, stuff. No, these guys don't actually build anything, but the thought of you pulling a tree out by its roots, then getting it to the mill on the roof of your Ford Focus seems daunting. So if you love wood and all the things you can make from wood, spruce up (ha!) and call your family and friends; we're throwing an American Loggers party!

Setting the scene:

The Pelletiers live their lives in the wild, so for this party we need to bring the outdoors inside. If you have woods or trees on your property, start cutting off branches and bring them in; if you don't, head to a local nursery and purchase a few pines and arborvitae -- enough to cover an entire wall of the room. Then try to get your hands on a tree stump or two (they don't have to be huge) for added effect. (Hey, everyone needs roots.) On all of the other walls add a wall mural of a forest. Next, add the sounds of nature so that your guests will start to wish they'd brought a compass. If you can't get your hands on sawdust, consider heading to your local pet store and buying pine shavings. Then either sprinkle them near the stumps and chain saws or use them as a design element in glass bowls. Party favors can include Dixon-Ticonderoga No. 2 pencils and toothpicks.

Attire:

It's harder than we thought to find clothes made of mahogany, so direct guests to C-R-Camo. Their bark camouflage outfits are so realistic you might get accosted by a pileated woodpecker.

On the menu:

This might surprise you, but a lot of food grows on trees! Serve bowls of nuts (pine nuts, walnuts, pecans) along with bamboo shoots and various fruits. Add a nice steak and some pasta to the mix because logging requires some serious carbs. Dessert: chocolate bark.

On the hi-fi:

Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead, Whispering Grass (Don't Tell the Trees) by the Ink Spots, Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, Wild Wood by Paul Weller and anything by the band Pulp.

The showstopper:

While this would be a great time to talk about the Arbor Day Foundation, we're going the other way and telling you to hire Joe King, the "Tree Carver." He'll come to you "anytime, anywhere" and carve a tree or stump into a thing of beauty.

It's that time of year again. The time you pack up the spouse and kids, hop into the family truckster and head off for one of the most memorable and miserable weeks of your life. It's bad enough living with these people when you're spread out through an entire house, but when you add the close proximity of a vehicle for an extended period of time, such as in Great American Road Trip, airing Mondays on NBC, and the various stresses and smells, there's almost no greater feeling than pulling back into your own driveway. So pack a suitcase, call your friends and neighbors, and pray for lower gas prices because we're throwing a Great American Road Trip party!

Setting the scene:

Thanks to oil speculators, this party is homebound, but that doesn't mean you can't decorate as though you're planning a cross-country trek. First up: maps. Get yourself several wall-size state maps and wallpaper your living room. Place pushpins in various state attractions -- check out Roadside America -- and map out a route from one place to another with a yellow highlighter. In one corner of the room, set up the inevitable breakdown location by placing the spare tire from your car alongside a jack, tire iron, lug nuts, emergency triangle and a yellow light bar from a tow truck. If you're extra crafty, head to a junkyard, buy the front bumper off an old car, and attach it to a hook and winch so it looks as if your bumper has been ripped off by the tow truck!

Attire:

You'll need one person dressed as a grease-covered auto mechanic holding a wrench near the roadside emergency area and at least one person dressed as a motorcycle cop (if you can get your hands on a police motorcycle, that would be even better). Everyone else should come as idiot tourists in Bermuda shorts, T-shirts and baseball caps with SLR cameras around their necks.

On the menu:

Go with regional fare here and pick someplace known for its food. Go with the Lone Star State and serve BBQ ribs and chili. Have the Texas state flag above the buffet table and a fiberglass bull beside it! Roadside attractions rock!

On the hi-fi:

The soundtrack to National Lampoon's Vacation is the only CD you will need, but sadly, it's virtually impossible to find. Do yourself a favor and download Dancin' Cross the U.S.A. and Holiday Road, both by Lindsey Buckingham, and Blitzkrieg Bop by The Ramones.

The showstopper:

Host Reno Collier would agree that if you must take the family cross-country, you should do it in a vehicle that lets you be as far apart as possible. So get yourself a used Class A Winnebago and park it on the front lawn. They're surprisingly expensive and get terrible mileage, but until you find a Ford Focus with a TV and a bed, this is it.

Nurses fuel the fantasies of a great number of American men. Well, some nurses. Others fuel nightmares. Jackie Peyton of Nurse Jackie, airing Mondays on Showtime, seems to fall somewhere in the middle. She has the bedside manner of a parole officer and a sense of justice you only hear about when people are running for office. If left up to her, health care reform would happen overnight, paid for by selling organs from the recently deceased to rich old people who want just one more good year. Ethics in her ER seem gray from where we sit -- and that's how we like it. So turn your head and cough; we're throwing a Nurse Jackie party!

Setting the scene:

We need medical equipment, stat! In order to drive your lust for Nurse Jackie home to all the party guests, turn your home into the ER. That means you'll need hospital beds, stretchers, tray tables, wheelchairs, emergency first aid kits, exam stools, exam lamps, tongue depressors, Q-tips and cotton applicators, and any instruments you can get your hands on reasonably. You'll also want medical history charts and the occasional X-ray hanging on the wall. Invitations should be written up as prescriptions ("A Party for What Ails You!") and include a surgical mask and a specimen cup. During the party, play games with a medical bent, such as symptom quizzes or even board games such as Pandemic. Winners can be given stethoscopes while everyone else gets disposable plastic bedpans.

Attire:

It's well documented that nurses' apparel is some of the ugliest clothing ever created, but at least they won't be confused with anyone else. Encourage hospital gowns and medical scrubs, replete with caps and surgical masks.

On the menu:

Hospital food seems designed to be bland, so lets try to keep the goopy look but ramp up the taste of the turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and fruit cup by using recipes from the Food Network. For dessert have M&Ms in pill bottles. Beverages should be served via IV drip.

On the hi-fi:

Jackie Blue by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, (Theme from) Valley of the Dolls by Dionne Warwick, Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd, Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, How to Save a Life by the Fray, Barely Breathing by Duncan Sheik.

The showstopper:

If you want this party to be a beacon of hope to everyone without health insurance, do yourself a favor and get a used ambulance to sit in your front lawn with the lights flashing. You'd be surprised how many ambulances are available for less than $30,000. Added perk: Playing doctor just got taken up a notch.

Ever look down at your biceps and think, "Wow, that looks so naked. I should have someone with a sharp needle come at me and pump it full of ink until it looks like I have a skeletal hula dancer sharing a Triscuit with a rabid bulldog ... ." Yeah, us, too. And that's why we can't get enough of Tattoo Highway, airing Wednesdays on A&E Network. Come on -- 94 tattoos in 36 days? That's insane. But if you're reading this, Thomas Pendelton, our editor would really love Edvard Munch's The Scream re-created on her lower back. You, too?

Setting the scene:

Memory Lane and the Tattoo Highway are about as far removed from each other as can be imagined, but in order to make this party as authentic as possible, you'll need to find yourself a tattoo artist willing to make house calls. You'd be surprised how many tattoo artists operate from rolling studios. But in order to make your home look more professional, you'll want to have all the necessary equipment on hand and on display, including chairs, tattoo guns, ink sets, diagrams and posters, henna kits and, for the faint of heart, fake tattoos. Hopefully whichever tattoo artist you find will be able to bring a wide selection of piercings as well (the best parties almost always require someone capable of stopping blood loss). Invitations can be printed on custom-made temporary tattoos that guests can wear, and party favors can include fake piercings and body jewelry.

Attire:

This may come as a shock, but tattoo aficionados aren't exactly breaking new ground in fashion, so tell everyone to come in something sleeveless and black with dark sunglasses and truckers hats. Don't forget the wallet chain.

On the menu:

A nice deli platter with the meat placed so that it looks like tattoo art -- a rose, "MOM," a snake, etc. You can also do that on a pizza if you prefer.

On the hi-fi:

Surprisingly, there's not a ton of music about tattoos, but leave it to Jimmy Buffett to mention them in a few of his hits, including Margaritaville and perhaps the best song about tattoos ever, Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling. Of course, you could also just listen to the Russian singing duo t.A.T.u.

The showstopper:

Show you have what it takes to compete with Pendelton, and get your hands on the same type of bus he uses on the show -- a vintage Silver Eagle Tour Bus. You can find a '60s or '70s model for sale easily, and your neighbors will love it parked in your driveway.