'Merlin'

Remember when the world was a simpler place? A place with knights and fair maidens, castles and moats, dragons and wizards? Well, according to Merlin, airing Sundays on NBC, that's how things were. There was no dependence on foreign oil, and everyone was just fine with only three major networks. Plus, dressing in robes and carrying swords was cool. So if your name is Arthur, and your dining room table is round, do what you've got to do and call your peeps, 'cuz it's time for a Merlin party!

Setting the scene:

Think Renaissance festival. Merlin is set squarely in medieval England, so if your home is your castle -- and we literally mean a castle -- you are way ahead of the game. If not, get your hands on some spired marquee tents and plant a few banners and pennants in the front yard. Check into renting oxen for the day. Once inside, work the dungeon angle and paint faux-dungeon walls on sheets and hang. Add a stock, ball and chain, and dungeon chains for any ne'er-do-wells. Scatter hay on the floor. On the "walls," add decorative shields and banners. Add some weapons such as crossbows, daggers, swords, axes and maces because times were hard, and purity only got Lancelot so far. Invitations should be on parchment paper and written in Old English calligraphy. Deliver via flaming arrow at your own risk.

Attire:

Thanks to the popularity of Renaissance festivals, you can dress like a serf, a king, a priest or a knight if you're willing to write a check. Trust us, these costumes will make Halloween a lot easier from now on, so consider a nice chain-mail chain-mail coif. If you are cheap, get yourself a nice bathrobe and a bowl haircut and call it a day.

On the menu:

Ahh, mead. It's good for what ales ya. Ha! In the time of Merlin, it wasn't so much what you ate -- although any game such as pheasant or deer was good stuff -- but what you ate on. Use goblets, chalices, and metal platters and plates.

On the hi-fi:

In short, there's simply not a more congenial spot for happily-ever-aftering than someplace playing the soundtrack to Camelot. For the more authentic among you, we suggest going Baroque. (Which you will after you've paid for this party. Ha!)

The showstopper:

OK, so you've got some maidens wandering on your front lawn, but what this party needs is a moat and a working drawbridge. If you've got the cash, call a trusted contractor. If you're poor, get your hands on two rectangular inflatable kiddie pools and place a refrigerator box in between them that has had the front and back cut down the sides.

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