'Surviving Suburbia'

The suburbs are a magical place where anything seems possible -- carpooling, child labor, throwing dog poop over the fence onto the neighbor's lawn -- and yet somehow it gets a bad rap. Luckily, Bob Saget is as mystified by its charm as the rest of us on Surviving Suburbia, airing Fridays on ABC. So if you have a nice little cul-de-sac and a split-level ranch begging for attention, call your friends and neighbors; we're throwing a Surviving Suburbia party!

Setting the scene:

It's pool-party time, people! And nothing says community pool party like kids of various ages shooting each other with Super Soakers while someone drops a paper plate full of potato salad near a dog affectionately known as "Gassy." The trick for decorating "Suburbia" is to move the driveway and garage into the backyard -- so drive the minivan back there and leave the rear hatch open so everyone can see the net full of soccer balls and dirty cleats. Move all the bicycles in the yard next to the riding lawn mower and have the gas grill strategically placed so that it is at the center of attention. Add a volleyball net and a horseshoe pit to keep things lively. Feel free to add a water-balloon-tossing contest if things need a lift. Invitations should be campy fliers made with lame clip art of grills and hot dogs.

Attire:

This is a come-as-you-are party (assuming you are from the suburbs). Encourage Bermuda shorts, inappropriate rock concert T-shirts and at least one "Kiss the Cook" apron for whoever is manning the grill.

On the menu:

Macaroni salad is still considered experimental cuisine in the suburbs, so stick with the grilled magic that is hot dogs, hamburgers and barbecued chicken, accompanied by tossed salad, potato salad and Jell-O. Cupcakes complete the feast.

On the hi-fi:

Rockin' the Suburbs by Ben Folds, The Suburbs Are Killing Us by My Favorite, the soundtrack to Stuck in the Suburbs, Living in America by James Brown, Tape Your Wife to the Ceiling by The Suburbs.

The showstopper:

It occurs to us that you may not have a swimming pool -- yet. So if you want your neighborhood pool party to work better than a Slip 'n Slide and some wet grass, you need to get digging a major hole in your backyard. We suggest a beautiful infinity pool by Viking Pools with a hot tub and a waterfall. Hey, you want to be the coolest neighbor, right?

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