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'Here Come the Newlyweds'
Newlyweds might just be the happiest people
on Earth. Well, after lottery winners. And people recently released from prison
-- although parolees have a better grasp on the future than either of the other
two. Regardless, there's a certain joy that comes from watching love and
unbridled optimism in the face of overwhelmingly negative odds. And that's just
what you get with Here Come the Newlyweds Mondays on ABC. So if you're a fan
of couples who have no idea what they've gotten themselves into (or you're a
licensed divorce attorney), call your married friends -- we're partying like
newlyweds!
Setting the scene:
Once you've walked down the aisle, marriage tends to look a lot like any other day of the week, so let's focus on re-creating that magical day when you and your parents spent $50,000 on cake and clothing you'll never wear again. You'll need a makeshift altar with all the trimmings (perhaps an arbor or a trellis replete with fake flowers and ivy), along with someone to pose as a minister ready to bond two people in holy matrimony. Next to the preacher, have your big-screen TV set up to watch the show. Set up some white plastic chairs with ribbons of tulle tied to them for those who are willing to witness the mayhem. During breaks in the action (aka commercials), have contests at the ready to test the knowledge of the couples in the crowd. In fact, there's a Newlywed Game board game with more than 600 questions that you can use and then give away as a party favor to the smartest couple!
Attire:
Wedding-appropriate, of course. Guys should wear nice suits or tuxedo T-shirts, while the ladies can go with summer dresses and ridiculous wrist corsages. If all else fails, wear a catering outfit and carry a tray.
On the menu:
The menu is one of the toughest parts of planning a wedding: He wants ribs; she wants braised tofu. So let's skip the entrees altogether and serve shrimp cocktail as an appetizer and wedding cake for dessert! Don't forget the bride and groom characters on top.
On the hi-fi:
Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra, If You Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul, Band of Gold by Freda Payne, This Diamond Ring by Gary Lewis & the Playboys, A Church, a Courtroom, and Then Goodbye by Patsy Cline.
The showstopper:
You can get round-trip airfare to Las Vegas from anywhere in the nation for less that $300. So we suggest that you pony up that money -- plus a little extra for a hotel -- and take a secret vote to decide which single couple should hop on a flight and get hitched immediately at the Little White Chapel.
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