'WWE Monday Night Raw'

While we don't personally care for bare-chested men with sweaty, stringy hair, we do enjoy watching them beat one another to within an inch of their lives. Yes, there's something to be said for having pioneers in the field of HGH hurl threats -- and opponents -- into the bleachers on USA Network's WWE Monday Night Raw. So if you've never had the good fortune to be hit over the head with a folding chair but relate to every joke Jeff Foxworthy has ever told, call your friends and neighbors, 'cuz we're throwing a WWE Raw party!

The suburbs are a magical place where anything seems possible -- carpooling, child labor, throwing dog poop over the fence onto the neighbor's lawn -- and yet somehow it gets a bad rap. Luckily, Bob Saget is as mystified by its charm as the rest of us on Surviving Suburbia, airing Fridays on ABC. So if you have a nice little cul-de-sac and a split-level ranch begging for attention, call your friends and neighbors; we're throwing a Surviving Suburbia party!

Love it or loathe it, our legal system is the backbone of the United States. In fact, there's probably a class action lawsuit going on right now trying to make us all whole again after last season's lineup on The CW. And sometimes a legal drama comes along such as Raising the Bar, airing Mondays on TNT, that makes us wonder whether we should leave our current job planning parties and take the LSATs. So if you think you might like to take the bar instead of belly up to one, call your friends and neighbors; we're throwing a party! (Tell them you're serving habeas corpus and cheese.)

Celebrities are used to getting the royal treatment: limousines, personal chefs, toilet paper. But the economic downturn has forced a small group of "celebrities" -- and we use that term loosely -- to huddle together in the jungles of Costa Rica in a desperate attempt to claim food, supplies, luxury items and relevancy on I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here! this week and next on NBC. So if you enjoyed Swiss Family Robinson but thought the life lessons and family love were too much sentimental nonsense and that it could have used a few more girl-on-girl screaming matches, call your friends -- we're going native!

Newlyweds might just be the happiest people on Earth. Well, after lottery winners. And people recently released from prison -- although parolees have a better grasp on the future than either of the other two. Regardless, there's a certain joy that comes from watching love and unbridled optimism in the face of overwhelmingly negative odds. And that's just what you get with Here Come the Newlyweds Mondays on ABC. So if you're a fan of couples who have no idea what they've gotten themselves into (or you're a licensed divorce attorney), call your married friends -- we're partying like newlyweds!