'Homeland Security USA'
If it were up to the fear-mongers, every night we'd sleep with one eye open and a gun under our pillow and make our pets sample all our food. But thanks to the hard work of the men and women who make up our nation's Department of Homeland Security, we can get a good night's sleep, virtually unaware that terrorists and evildoers from around the globe would like to dip us in chocolate and feed us to the wolves.
Shot entirely on location, Homeland Security USA, airing Tuesdays on ABC, gives viewers an unprecedented look at the agencies and people that protect us. So if you like apple pie, baseball and your mother, call your friends and neighbors because we're throwing a Homeland Security USA party!
Setting the scene:
This area is under quarantine so buy sheets of plastic and cover the walls, ceilings and floor, being sure to use duct tape liberally on each and every seam. Orange cones, barricade lights, roadblock and detour signs all help make your case for placing the Homeland Security Advisory System at red! Hire a couple of college kids to pose as customs agents replete with traffic batons and bullhorns, and have them check everyone off the guest list before entry. Having guests remove belts and shoes beforehand is optional. Consider having forms available for anyone who doesn't already have a passport.
Attire:
Order a couple of cases of biohazard suits, and hand them out as guests arrive. By the case they cost less than $5 each and can double as party favors. Safety vests as well as police and military uniforms are also great choices. And there are also myriad T-shirts with various Homeland Security themes.
On the menu:
Americana all the way, baby! Meat and potatoes, corn muffins, tossed salad, and apple pie!
On the hi-fi:
God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood, America the Beautiful by Ray Charles, The Star-Spangled Banner by Whitney Houston, Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue by Toby Keith.
The showstopper:
If you truly want to appreciate the hard work and dedication of our people on the frontline, move this party to the community of Otay Mesa, Calif., that state's largest border port and one of the largest in the nation. It's located between San Diego and Tijuana, Mexico, so you and your guests could cross the border and enjoy an evening of probing questions and document procurement.
funds allocated by HSBC were intercepteds saying I need a transfer permit, beause usually the amount being wired is to enhanc. Speculative that it may be used in lieu of terrorism or money laundering. at 67yrs old, disabled mobility limited who am I to terrorize?