'UFO Hunters'
If you're as tired of Earthlings as we are, the possibility of intelligent life visiting us from another world seems pretty exciting. Not to mention green is our color. And now in its second season, History Channel's UFO Hunters, airing Wednesdays, gives us hope that the crop circles in our backyard weren't necessarily made by our neighbors three-legged potbellied pig, Jasper. Thanks to this team of experts (including researcher Ted Acworth), there is compelling evidence that intelligent life from other galaxies is so intelligent it isn't leaving many clues as to its existence. Nevertheless, aliens must exist. (How else to explain Sharon Stone?) So call your friends and family; we're throwing a UFO Hunters party that'll be out of this world!
Setting the scene:
Sure, it's cliche, but nothing says "UFO" like a Roswell, N.M., crash site, so get your hands on a round trampoline and then wedge it in the corner of the room with the far side angled up to the ceiling. Now wrap it in silver cellophane and add blinking miniature Christmas lights to give it that Plan 9 From Outer Space vibe. Now tear up large sheets of aluminum foil, and scatter the crinkled sheets around the room. Wrap a few old broom handles and rulers in the foil and stencil on a few symbols -- because aliens use an alphabet, too. Place a few telescopes near the windows and have a few guests walk around with Geiger counters to check for radiation. For the naysayers, order a few weather balloons and attach them to Flexible Flyers.
Attire:
If a UFO crashed in our backyard, you can bet we'd slip into our vast selection of biohazard suits. Don't forget the safety goggles. Some guests may want to represent the Nebulon Galaxy, so alien costumes are welcome. (We like the Blue Galaxy King costume.)
On the menu:
The nice thing about aliens is that they try to assimilate, so serve a full-course turkey dinner with all the fixin's. Oh, and peanut M&Ms.
On the hi-fi:
You can just link your laptop to the Alien Music channel at Visionary Music or mix your own soundtrack including Space Oddity by David Bowie, 2,000 Light Years From Home by the Rolling Stones, Saturn III by Fu Manchu, Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden and Space Cowboy by Jamiroquai.
The showstopper:
UFOs come in all shapes and sizes, but the best -- and most dangerous -- way for you to be declared a UFO is to slip on a Birdman winged suit. It'll literally turn you into a flying squirrel -- except where we typed "squirrel" you can put "man."
HEY CHECK THIS PIC OUT LOOK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE? I HAVE THE PHOTOS FROM THIS DAY AND I SAW THIS DOT THERE! THERE IS A LIGHT COMING FROM THIS IMAGE. ITS A UFO FOR SURE YOU HAVE TO SEE THE REAL PHOTOGRAPH!!!