'Verminators'
Wait just a minute. There's now a show called Verminators, about people who kill bugs and rats and goodness knows what else, on the Discovery Channel's Monday night lineup? Following around fishermen and truckers and lumberjacks wasn't enough? What's next? A show about people who devise outlandish premises for parties based on television shows? (Are you listening, E! Entertainment Television?) Sadly, we can't get enough of reality TV that feels like actual reality. So leave out the food and keep the windows open, because we need a reason to party with the Verminators.
Setting the scene:
Decorating for this party comes dangerously close to grossing us out. You'll need live mice, lie rats, live crickets and some mealworms to show you mean business -- and by business we mean exterminating. Obviously, all these creatures can be found at your local pet store. (Make sure you buy proper containers for them or you will need an exterminator.) If you aren't up for that we suggest toy insects and fake rats. Have ant farms prominently displayed along with poster boards of bug facts (many can be found on the show's Web page). For example, did you know a cockroach can live one week without its head? During commercial breaks play audio recordings from the Your Gross Stories section of the Web page, where viewers tell of their disgusting experiences with vermin! It's weird to laugh and have your skin crawl at the same time. Party favors include cans of Raid and flyswatters.
Attire:
You'll want a face mask or ventilator, rubber gloves and goggles. Other guests may lean toward antennae or whiskers.
On the menu:
People will probably lose their appetites shortly after walking through your door. But for the die-hards, offer chocolate-covered crickets to let your guests know they deserve nothing but the very best in dead bugs. Again, it that's too rugged, we suggest chocolate-covered cherry mice.
On the hi-fi:
Bugs by Pearl Jam; Itsy Bitsy Spider by Carly Simon; The Very Best of Adam and the Ants; the soundtrack from A Bug's Life; Muskrat Love by the Captain & Tennille; and anything by Ratt.
The showstopper:
Nothing says "We've got an infestation problem" like a 6-foot-tall rat in your front yard. Hire a local college student and put him or her in a Rink Rat mascot costume. It's evil-looking and gross, and that's the theme we're going for.
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