'Camp Rock'
If you don't know who the Jonas Brothers are you don't live within screaming distance of any teenage girls -- that being approximately 1 1/4 miles. But if you do know them, you'll understand why we are insanely excited about this week's original Disney Channel movie Camp Rock, airing Saturday on ABC. They're like an updated version of Hanson or the Osmonds, except more manufactured and tempered by less talent. So if you know any girls, print some permission slips and send out the invitations -- we're gonna party like it's band camp! Speaking of which, one time, at band camp ... .
Setting the scene:
Ah, summer camp -- trees, picnic tables, hammocks and bug spray. Luckily, Camp Rock sits on the shores of Lake WannaBeAStar, so build a stage and a boat dock in the backyard (assuming time permits and you are good at that sort of thing) -- yes, even if the only body of water at your house is a birdbath. Trust us, it'll look cool and functional once the floods come. Have a canoe and life jackets available to guests. And since this is Camp Rock, you should rent some instruments such as guitars, drums, tambourines and triangles. If no one is capable of actually playing them, we suggest a karaoke machine to get everyone through Final Jam. As the evening progresses and the movie wraps up, don't forget a large campfire with blankets for everyone -- summer love requires snuggling.
Attire:
Baggy board shorts, capris, tank tops, T-shirts, flip flops, sneakers and WWJD (What Would Jonas Do?) bracelets.
On the menu:
Hot dogs, hamburgers, potato chips, macaroni salad, s'mores and roasted marshmallows. And for the stars, M&M's that have been color separated.
On the hi-fi:
Though the boys play the band Connect 3 instead of themselves in Camp Rock, we still recommend you play Jonas Brothers tunes all night long. After all, they're adorable. It says so right on their Web site.
The showstopper:
There isn't a summer camp with the Jonas Brothers. But there is the Power Chord Academy, which is a lot like Space Camp but for kids (ages 12-18) with piercings. Camps take place at various colleges across the country and feature instruction by members of bands such as Chiodos, the Oohlas (led by a former Everclear member), Five for Fighting, the Fray, Semisonic and many more. Finally, your child will be able to rock an extended guitar solo!
If you don't know who the Jonas Brothers are you don't live within screaming distance of any teenage girls -- that being approximately 1 1/4 miles.