'A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila'

There's something magical about the process of a girl meeting a boy ... and then another girl. It makes you think that love -- lubricated mightily with cheap liquor and a production crew from MTV -- really is possible, even under the oddest of conditions. And with that thought, our favorite bisexual is back with a second season of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, airing Tuesdays on MTV. So pull up a love seat, pop some Cuervo, and let's party to one of the most entertaining -- though God-fearingly unnatural -- shows on TV.

Setting the scene:
First, it should be noted that Tila should have just picked Dani last season so none of us would have to go through all of this again. Nevertheless, decorating for this shindig will be like crossing Tom Jones' bedroom with a martini bar. In the middle of the room you'll need a king-size bed (two pushed together if the room is large enough) outfitted with red satin sheets and a red satin comforter. Red silk accent pillows should be scattered all over the room, and a shaggy flokati rug is perfect for those who find canoodling on the bed too traditional. And since love is the flavor of the day, romance it up with lighted candles, roses and rose petals, bubbles, and a hot tub filled with suds. Be sure to invite as many single friends as possible so that love really does have a shot, then put them through their paces with pudding wrestling and obstacle courses. Party favors can include lip gloss, MTV tote bags, shot glasses and key necklaces.

Attire:
Make sure guests come dressed to impress MTV's sensitive stereotypes because this season's cast is like a remake of The Breakfast Club on crystal meth.

On the menu:
Remember, you're trying to find food that's appealing to straight men and lesbians alike. Good luck. But for liquid refreshment there's only one choice -- tequila.

On the hi-fi:
At first we picked a selection of tunes from androgynous musicians such as David Bowie and Annie Lennox, then we thought about love songs. Then we thought if you're going to be lucky enough to look at Tila, you should be unlucky enough to listen to her -- yep, she has her own tunes.

The showstopper:
Road trip! There's a bar in Ottawa named Tila Tequila. While it has nothing to do with the show or its host, who isn't looking for an excuse to hit Ottawa?

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