How Barney became aweseome . . .this week's quotes

When I go on vacation, TV tends to act out.

Networks disappear. Shows are cancelled. TiVo decides it is simply too tired to work.

So I'm a little apprehensive about going away next week. I'm also aprehensive because my plane takes off in less than 12 hours and I haven't even begun to pack but that's a topic for another time.

But I'm thinking that maybe this vacation the reverse can happen. TV can work with me. Maybe when I return the writer's strike will be over. Wouldn't that be fantastic? Let's all pause to think one giant positive thought.

I'll be back on Monday, December 10 with a brand new column. Here are some highlights of what to watch while I'm gone.

Desperate Housewives (Sunday, ABC, 9 p.m.): Two characters are rumored to go to that big suburb in the sky when a tornado hits Wisteria Lane. I am still not liking the direction the Gabby/Victor/Carlos story line has gone in but since the rest of the show has been so strong this season, I'll be tuning in.

The Closer (Monday, TNT, 8 p.m.): Brenda and Fritz head to Atlanta in this special two-hour Christmas of The Closer. The episode drags a little in some places but you just can't beat Brenda, Fritz, Provenza, Flynn and Brenda's parent on a cross-country RV road trip. This episode really explores one of my favorite things about this series -- that no matter how accomplished Brenda is professionally, she's still her parents' daughter. It also cements Brenda and Fritz as one of my favorite television couples. Saving Grace returns with four new episodes immediately following The Closer Monday at 10 p.m.

Heroes (Monday, NBC, 9 p.m.): I'm not as optimistic about the show's chances of recovery as I was a few weeks ago. This show is still struggling to come back from a rocky launch to its second season and having its characters behave so erratically isn't helping (Suresh so needs to make up his mind.). But we might as well tune in to see how this first (and maybe only if the writer's strike continues since NBC is billing it as the "finale") chapter of the second season ends.

Samantha Who? (Monday, ABC, 9 p.m.): When this show first premiered, many were concerned that the comedy's premise (a mean women with amnesia realizes she was an awful person and tries to change her ways) wasn't enough to sustain the series. But I'm thrilled to report that Samantha Who? gets better every week. This week I actually had to pause my TiVo because I was laughing so much. This is one of those rare shows where the acting, timing and writing come together to form the perfect series. All that plus Eddie Cibrian as Samantha's love interest. If you haven't yet watched this show, now is the time to give it a chance.

Monk and Psych (Friday, USA, beginning at 9 p.m.): USA airs special Christmas episodes of its two most popular series. Next December let's hope Burn Notice is part of this holly jolly time.

Oh and check out www.myspace.com/patrickdarlingdsm. Like most politicians our very own Patrick Darling has his own My Space page.

Quotes of the Week

"You might want to rethink the work wardrobe." Holly to Lena on Brothers & Sisters.

"No one is ever going to call me Nazi again." Bailey while operating on a white supremacist on Grey's Anatomy.

"Justin's Madonna and child. Now is that Rocco or Lourdes." Betty discussing Justin's Christmas ornaments on Ugly Betty.

"Sarah and Casey are right inside. One girly scream from me and they go into full combat mode." Chuck to Bryce on Chuck. Thanks to Jeff for the quote.

"But you didn't give birth. You watched and served refreshments." Orson to Bree on Desperate Housewives.

"I'm all about committing to my body. I'll drive to Vermont and have a commitment ceremony with my body if you want." Marshall to his trainer on How I Met Your Mother.

"That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world Armani clad and fully awesome." Barney about having sex for the first time on How I Met Your Mother.

"I mean it's a broad generalization but my guess is an attractive man who makes pies for a living shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison." Emerson on Pushing Daisies. Thanks to Bruno for the quote.

"Thanks for the gum." Booth to Bones after they kissed on Bones. She was chewing gum before the kiss and he was after. Thanks to Becky for the quote.

"Can you believe Big Cat is making a comeback? The guy's like the Roger Clemens of romance." Nick on October Road.

"I made a prom in prison happen. I bet this is what it feels like to be Oprah." Joy on My Name is Earl.

Exchanges of the Week

"I did not raise you to use amnesia as an excuse." Samantha's mom to her daughter on Samantha Who?

"That would have taken enormous foresight." Samantha's response

"If I had your money, I'd be on a beach somewhere? Why aren't you on a beach, Crews?" Danni to Crews on Life.

"Do I look like I tan?" Crews' response. Thanks to Joellyn and Li for submitting this exchange

Okay that's all for today. Remember next week I'm on vacation but I will return on Monday, December 10 with a look at My Name is Earl, 30 Rock and much more. Also coming in December my Best of 2007 -- the best shows, the best characters, the best quotes, the best moments and the best of everything television. Do you have a favorite quote of the year? Or a favorite moment? Write me at amytvgal@zap2it.com and let me know. Have a great week and I'll talk to you soon.

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