Milo Ventimiglia steps into the Celebrity Time Machine!

Could this be what "Heroes" hottie Milo Ventimiglia will look like in 45 years? Look at the strangely similar crooked grins! Like father and junior.

And for those of you who don't remember "The Andy Griffith Show," this here is actor/singer Jim Nabors.

Someone should show this to Hayden Panettiere before they get much more serious.

Click HERE to read the latest about their very real relationship.

Hey, I'm just saying.

Photo credits: WireImage

Who's your baby daddy?

That's the big question facing Jamie Lynn Spears as rumors about a much older Nickelodeon exec being the real father of her baby start to circulate.

The latest buzz is that Casey Aldridge is not the real dad and the teens hadn't been exclusively dating for some time. He's more like the stunt sperminator.

The story was reported in the Star, which has gotta be POed it didn't get Jamie Lynn's first exclusive pregnancy story that went instead to OK! magazine.

Would they sell more magazines with a report about the real dad? You betcha.

The Star's supposed (and unsourced) scoop has already gone viral on the Web.

All these rumors can't be helping Jamie Lynn's position with the network. How long will Nickelodeon want to keep an actress who is bringing so much bad press to the network? I'd give it about a week.

Click HERE to read the story.

Photo credit: Star magazine

It was only a piece of red licorice, people!

Click HERE to see what an annoyed Miley Cyrus told a radio station about those saucy snaps on the Web of her cavorting with one of her girlfriends.

Then get your minds out of the gutter!

Photo credit: Oh-oh. Let's hope Vanessa Hudgens doesn't take any snaps of her pal Miley Cyrus on her cellphone. We all know where that could lead.
WireImage

It's been a wild ride (literally) on the Celeb News Super Highway. But let's do take one last auld lang syne look back at some 2007 headlines before the New Year's Eve bubbly erases my memory boards.

Does anyone else miss Rosie?

Rosie O'Donnell's just been named Most Annoying Celebrity of the Year, beating out Paris (I'm still hot, dammit) Hilton and righteous wing mouthpiece Ann Coulter.

I kinda miss old Rosie. In retrospect, her screaming political smackdowns with righteous wing twit Elisabeth Hasselbeck were more interesting than all the aspiring presidential candidates' polite verbal face-offs so far. And I can't wait to read her new book, "Celeb Detox."

Hey, how about a 2008 morning talk show called, "The View Askew," (apologies to Kevin Smith) pairing Rosie with Mel Gibson, Howard Stern, Bill O'Reilly, Don Imus and Donald Trump?

Now that I'd watch. 

Hollywood's bad girls go to jail! Oops, now they're out!

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie all got arrested for various traffic offenses including DUIs and driving without valid driver's licenses.

Skating in at the last minute, Mischa Barton got popped too. But everyone knows she's just a pathetic copycat criminal, trying to fit in with the In Crowd.

Anyway, these three girls fought the law and the law won. Or did it? Other than slight embarrassment over unflattering mug shots and Paris crying for "Mommy," I doubt that the roughly 86 minutes of incarceration (that's how long Nic and Lilo spent in custody) will teach these ladies a lesson.

It may make them hire drivers and perhaps better assistants who won't toss any correspondence from California's driver's license bureau.

Paris logged the most time in the clink -- 23 days -- and claimed she read the Bible constantly. But she couldn't recall a single psalm for Larry King just days after she got out. Oh, c'mon. Not even the 21st? Surely Paris knows the one that goes, "I shall not want?"

Britney: the buzz cut heard around the world.

It's been a solid year of Britney paparazzi-watching -- from bad wigs to rehab drive-bys, a stumbling lip-sync-centric comeback, speeding through red lights, running over strangers' feet, shacking up in every fancy L.A. hotel and losing custody of her kids to Fed-Ex.

The photo of the year has to be the shot of an enraged, freshly bald Britney attacking a paparazzi windshield with ... shudder ... an umbrella!

Just when we thought the "As the Trailer Park Turns" soap opera couldn't get any weirder, Britney's 16-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn, gets knocked up.

And it turns out her Mom (you know, the one who was writing a book on good parenting?) actually pimped out her daughter's pregnancy story and her grand squid's first photos to OK! magazine for $1 million.

Maybe Lynne Spears is the one who should do jail time. Or at least get the Worst Mother of the Year award.

For more on Eva and Tony's money-making 2007 marriage, keep reading...

Move over, Katie and Suri!

According to the Daily Mail, Tom Cruise's ex-wife Nicole Kidman is reported to be (finally!) expecting her first biological child with hubby/country singer Keith Urban.

But the pregnancy is still unconfirmed by Kidman's camp. Click HERE.

If she is expecting, it's not unexpected news. The rumor mill has been churning out baby bump stories for the past few months. And Nic's been looking a bit broad in the beam on recent red carpets, particularly at the Sydney premiere of "The Golden Compass" in a strangely too-tight, belly-hugging Balenciaga pantsuit.

Hey, if an A-list couture designer's stuff doesn't fit a celeb properly, something's going on, right? I particularly love the photos and pregnancy pontification on nicolekidmansforehead.com! Click HERE to laugh.

Anyway, if the Daily Mail is correct, then congrats to Nicole and Keith! If not, no worries. There's still lots of time for babies.

Hey, wouldn't it be cute if Nic's baby and Suri Cruise could have play dates when they get older? Okay, maybe that's pushing the stroller a bit too far down the road.

Photo credit: No, no, no! You've got it all wrong, dude. You're supposed to put YOUR hand on her stomach, not the other way around. Jeepers, no wonder it's taken such a long time for these two to get pregnant. C'mon, Keith. She helped you beat the booze. Time to give the girl a baby!

WireImage

Princess Buttercup and Spicoli always seemed the unlikely couple.

But hey, Sean and Robin Wright Penn made it last for 11 looong years.

In Hollywood, where most celeb marriages run out before the 30-minute parking meters on Robertson Boulevard, the Penns lasted the equivalent of the stone age through to the space age.

She couldn't have been over the moon lately, with Penn traveling constantly -- from meetings with Hugo Chavez to rescuing hurricane victims, and tirelessly promoting his awards-friendly picture "Into the Wild" to every possible group in town.

That must be part of the reason why the Penns' publicist reportedly told People the two are officially over. CLICK HERE.

Photo credit: WireImage

Dirty Laundry: We wiped up the best dirt on the Web. So you don't have to.

It's official! Jessica and Cash are engaged!

Jessica Alba, who just happens to be lugging around Cash Warren's baby, is wearing a mutha-load of an engagement ring. Click HERE to see Jess' bling and her bright, shiny Christmas pimples.   

Also official! Fergie and Josh are engaged!

Fergie and Josh Duhamel have been together for ages. Most of us expected them to break up, not make a formal commitment. Must be love. Click HERE for the sappy, boring details. Who knew they've been dating for three entire years!

That may not sound like much to you, but it's kinda like the dog/human lifespan difference. In celebrity time, one year is equal to 12 years in civilian (non-famous folks) time.

What does Sexy Back smell like? You're about to find out. Rumor is that singer-dancer-denim designer Justin Timberlake is sniffing around the beauty world and may be launching a fragrance with Givenchy! Click HERE to scratch and sniff.

Watch out, Vanessa Hudgens.Miley's moving in. VHud's nude photos have nothing on the photos of Miley Cyrus' supposed girl-on-girl antics that surfaced on Perez Hilton's site. If those pics are real, I bet several Disney execs have already committed hara-kiri.

Photo credits: WireImage

(Photo credit: Mugshot courtesy of AP)

OHNOSHEDIDN'T!

Just when it looked like we might have a quiet New Year's Eve...

Mischa Barton got popped for suspicion of DUI, possession of an illegal narcotic and driving without a valid driver's license early Thursday morning in West Hollywood. CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE!

Maybe she was feeling left out and wanted some much-needed publicity? Poor girl probably didn't realize the in thing now is to help children's charities, not get yourself arrested on a DUI. That's soooo 2007. 

But Mischa, best- (or rather only) known for playing troubled rich girl Marissa Cooper on "The O.C.," hasn't been hanging around hip Hollywood much after her mysterious hospitalization when she got really really sick during a wild 2007 Labor Day beach party.

Her protective parents whisked her outta Dodge pronto to get away from all those bad influences like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Miss M's less-than-desirable-boyfriend Cisco Adler.

So much for that plan.

CLICK HERE FOR ARREST REPORT BULLETIN! Apparently, to add insult to injury the L.A. County's Inmate website misspelled her last name, referring to her as "Mischa Burton." Ouch.  Check out the screenshot after the jump.