Top 5 Ways I'd Misuse The Force

With the hopefully, seemingly epic video game Star Wars: The Force Unleashed coming out soon, I've been thinking a little bit about how I'd be if I had those powers. Saying that I'm a goody-two-shoes is a bit of an exaggeration but I'm definitely not evil. I can't even go the "bad guy" route in video games without feeling a twinge of guilt. That being said, I do know that there are some selfish and self-serving ways I'd end up using The Force. And here's how...

5. Entertainment
Not that I wouldn't tip but sometimes I just don't feel like paying for dinner or drinks. I don't like being charged twice the price of a concert ticket because there's only one place to buy it (you all know the evil entity I'm talking about). There's nothing I hate more than have to pay a cover at a bar or club. The remedy? You do not desire to charge me...those tickets come with backstage passes...

4. Parking Spots
One of my biggest pet peeves in the whole wide world is people who park like a-holes. My street (and L.A. in general) are full of them. I'd like nothing more than to Force Push those jerks' cars so that they aren't limiting me (or others). And if I were in a particularly bad mood, some of the more egregious, repeat offenders might be surprised to find their automobiles upside down. D-bags.

3. Price Negotiations
I like cars. Except they cost too much for me to own what I want when I want it. I'll be taking that A8 for $200, thanks. And it's not like it'll cost much for me to get gas. And by much I mean anything.

2. No More Bills!
Are we sensing a theme here? Raise your hand if want your student loans to go away...

1. The Perfect Salary and Benefits Package
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Now, I'm not saying I'd Mind Trick someone into paying me a million dollars a year or anything, but I've had many experiences in the past where it'd be nice if the HR person I was talking to wasn't made of evil. A little persuasion would've done wonders.

Bonus: Never having to wait in line - especially at grocery stores behind someone who takes up a lot of space doing a lot of nothing.

Okay, you've heard about my abuses of The Force, how would you misuse your poweres?

Comments

You’ve left out the best power of all: using the Force to choke people! Someone cut in front of you in a line? Force choke. A fellow passenger on the bus won’t stop blathering into a cell phone? Force choke. An intoxicated would-be pick-up artist at your favorite bar won’t take the hint? Force choke. Next-door neighbor keeps having noisy parties at 3 in the morning? You guessed it. Most of life’s daily annoyances would simply vanish.

John Markley | Sep 13, 2008 1:48:46 PM | #

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I bet a lot of teenagers wish they had the "You don't need to see his identification" power when they try to sneak into a bar!

Alex | Sep 14, 2008 12:31:47 AM | #

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What a dufus.

#1 makes 2,3 and half of 5 superfluous.

Let me guess, you'd wish for a bag of money, a trunk of money and a box of money for your 3 wishes....

Come on Tamara. You can do better. I've read enough of your stuff to know that...

Try again. Maybe the 'next 5' or something...

Brett | Sep 15, 2008 5:58:39 AM | #

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I had to search "misfits of sci-fi" in google to get here. Zap-2it no long lists it as one of its blogs, either on its blue bar of blogs, or on its "blogger central" page. What gives?

Billiam | Sep 15, 2008 9:59:35 AM | #

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Billiam, I've wondered the same thing. I eventually found the "misfits of sci-fi" buried on a page, but I had to really search for it.

Come on, Zap2it. You make room for "Big Brother" and "Lost" in the blog blue bar but you take away "Misfits of Sci-Fi"? That needs to be corrected!

Melody | Sep 15, 2008 12:39:48 PM | #

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I heard through the grape vine that the Misfits blog is no longer supported under budget. I was actually surprised to see this post considering that.

Maybe an official post from one of the Misfits themselves would be best to clear this up?

Blue Sean | Sep 15, 2008 1:05:24 PM | #

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Absolutely Blue Sean… someone from this blog (Tamara?) ought to post an official announcement regarding the deletion of the section.

This sucks. I actually liked checking the TV Listings for the week and have caught quite a few shows and movies from Tamara's list/recommendations that I would’ve probably missed on my own. I discovered the series “The Middleman” from this very section.

Doug | Sep 15, 2008 5:03:27 PM | #

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Brett - First of all, there's no need to call names just because you weren't in agreement. Sure, they're not the most adventurous ways one could use The Force but those are five things I'd actually do. I wouldn't Force Choke someone unless it was to protect myself or someone else which doesn't fit in the self-serving nature of the list. Like I said in the intro, my "bad streak" is minimal and the economy sucks so that's where my head was at when I made this.

Billiam, Melody, Blue Sean & Doug - Yeah...there's some behind the scenes stuff going on right now. We're trying to figure things out and once there's a firm decision, I assure you there'll be an announcement.

Tamara B. | Sep 15, 2008 6:14:02 PM | #

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Thanks for the info Tamera, I hope that things work out the Misfits and TV Gal are the 2 things I always check out when I'm on Zap2it.

Deke | Sep 16, 2008 11:56:07 AM | #

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