Top 5: Explorations Gone Wrong
With the release of Journey to the Center of the
Earth last weekend, we Misfits couldn't help but wonder: Where have we seen
this before? You know, that old "exploration turns sour before you can say
Brendan Fraser" type of plot? Exactly: in most of our favorite sci-fi
films of the past. Hey, we're not knocking the concept: how else are our heroes
supposed to land in strange, exotic, and dangerous situations if they didn't
repeatedly look at Life's "Do Not Press" button and pushed it
anyways?With that in mind, here's five of our favorite examples of little detours gone wacky.
1. Alien
Look, guys, I don't mean to be the wet blanket here. But when you get a mysterious SOS call while in cryogenic slumber, hit the snooze button. I'm sure another ship will come along soon, land, and unwittingly unleash one of the universe's most lethal killing machines. You need your beauty rest.
2. The Ruins
They could have gone to Cancun or Daytona Beach like everyone else, but nooooo. The crazy kids of this movie HAD had to follow a German tourist to a Mayan temple replete with angry denizen and sentient vines. Moreover, these vines have Rich Little-esque skillz, allow them to impersonate cell phones, the voices of these bratty kids...pretty much everything except the voice of sanity.
3. Planet of the Apes
You know, we all get lost sometimes. Me? I once ended up in New Hampshire, which would have been OK had I not been trying to get to Cape Cod. But I've personally never traveled thousands of light years through space, only to unwittingly end up on a ravaged version of my own planet in the distant future. But that's why he's Charlton Heston, and I'm not.
4. Back to the Future
Note to all you would-be time travelers: don't do it. That's the stay-at-home message of this trilogy, in which it takes three films to undo the damage a few plutonium-powered pleasure cruises through time managed to incur. You might think it's fun to travel in time, but before you know it, your mom's making the moves on you, you manage to almost erase yourself from existence, and all you've got for your troubles is the knowledge that a bolt of lightning consists of 1.21 gigawatts. Hardly seems worth the trouble.
5. Signs/War of the Worlds/Mars Attacks/Independence Day
Here's some advice for all of our readers in the Milky Way and beyond: should you decide you want to come to our planet and take over, make sure you're not 1) incredibly vulnerable to water, as we have a lot of it here; 2) unable to breathe our air without dying within a few days of landing; 3) unable to stand yodeling, or 4) are Mac-compatible. You're welcome.
Now that we've listed ours, leave your own example below!
Ryan also goes exploring over at Boob Tube Dude.
Mine are as follows:
5. Jurassic Park Trilogy - Science run amok.. after the button was pushed of course... From creation to rescue missions, this movie is why humans need to leave evolution to God.
4. Pitch Black - Yes, they crash landed, but that didn't mean they had to go spelunking into the caves and underground places and remind the Bioraptors that the 22 year wait for food was almost over.
3. The Descent - How does one decide to drag her friends into an uncharted cave system without researching it first? One will never know.
2. Sunshine - Even though their intentions were in the oh so right place (refueling the sun is a damn good reason in my book), the crew of the Icarus II should have had 1) more back up on hand and 2) a more saner crew. Maybe at least they wouldn't have ran into all those problems.
and finally...
1. The Alien Saga - The epitome of all explorations gone bad due to a bad detour for one character. But for Lt. Ripley, no matter where she went, she just couldn't seem to shake those pesky Xenomorphs...
Mark O. Estes | Jul 15, 2008 3:10:53 AM | #It's not exactly a thrill a minute, but I'd like to add Solaris to this list, too. After years of hearing nothing but bad things about George Clooney's remake of the Russian classic, I finally got around to seeing it and discovered it was actually a damn good film. And it all hinges on the fact humans discover a new planet and get messed up by an exotic life form.
And how could anyone forget everyone's favorite SF comedy, Dark Star? The film that, in a perverse way, actually sorta inspired Alien!
Alex | Jul 15, 2008 1:40:37 PM | #…"pesky Xenomorphs." Good stuff Mark!
I had forgotten they actually referred to the aliens as "Xenomorphs" in the second film during the mission briefing scene with the colonial Marines.
Another thing that I always wondered about in Aliens was the range of the reactor blast on planet LV-426. It didn’t appear that the explosion was powerful enough to reach the original alien mothership where all the eggs were being stored, which was quite some distance from the colony compound, according to the movie novelization and indicated in deleted scenes from the film. Since they never “nuked the planet from orbit” (as was the original plan), that big, bad, ancient alien egg farm of a ship is still sitting out there and none of the sequels ever addressed it. If ‘The Company’ really wanted to get their hands on that creature, then why not go directly to the source?
It's not a movie but a TV show that I used to adore based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyles' The Lost World. It was the title of it too. Loved it loved it loved it.
Chris | Jul 15, 2008 9:20:49 PM | #Thanks, Brad. I never knew the details you laid out. I have the Alien Quadrilogy, but never really knew that about the deleted scenes or what not. I have something to do now. Lol. But to answer the last question. Maybe the big gap in years between Alien and Aliens gives the plausible answer to the ship being lost? I mean that's a lot of space to cover looking for one ship.
Mark O. Estes | Jul 16, 2008 10:26:15 AM | #About This Blog
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