Melissa Etheridge split: Tammy Lynn Michaels says she was 'left mangled'

By Elizabeth Snead

May 23, 2010 9:32 AM ET

The end of any committed relationship is hard. But it's gotta be really tough to have a very public split.

Take Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels, who separated recently after nine years and two kids. Melissa has promoting her new album and telling the press that the split was mutual and had been coming a long time.

Now Tammy Lynn has finally spoken out, after reading somewhere that Melissa said she would "not censor" her. And her side of the split sounds painful, sad and probably very familiar to many couples, gay or straight.

Here's the poem she posted on her hollywoodfarmgirl blog:


no more censorship for me?

    well, no censorship?
    really, honey?
    awesome.

    things can be a long time coming
    to one
    and smash the hell out of
    another:
    hit and run
    not even staying to clean up the mess

    secrets, with-holding,
    whispering to all but
    the one whom holds the vows
    and the toddlers

    disappearances into the
    hourglass-shaped wood with strings
    never to finish a fight
    never interested in clarifying,
    making sense, making it right
    even finishing the fight
    more interested in making something rhyme
    time after time after time
    and later angsting that you and me, WE
    it didn't work out
    you evolved
    you needed to be happy-
    but really... you withdrew your hands
    from family and intimacy
    to pluck those strings more
    Story continues below

    i'd rather hear 10,000 fans
    screaming my name in worship
    than hear my wife harp on me
    about my family intimacy issues too,
    you know?
    which one is going to get me harder?
    easy answer

    sideswiped and left mangled
    up to my eyes in toilet training toddlers
    and sounds of a guitar wailing
    letting me know
    you would probably leave me soon
    i know those heart-ache wails by now

    i even told you it was a break up album
    and you laughed at me
    you laughed and laughed
    i heard fearless and i got sick
    "that's your break up song with me"
    i said to you
    you got so angry with me, remember?
    and stomped off

    so thank you for telling an interviewer
    that you WON'T censor me on my blog
    (i thought i was to say nothing, my bad)
    i was so unhappy thinking people dare look at me
    and think that i consider
    a marriage and forever to be
    nine years or six years or whatever
    and i gave up on everything
    and just walked off
    never is that me... nope, never

    cuz i did not go anywhere, honey.
    and you and i both know it
    please stop telling the press it was mutual-

    my birthday rolled around,
    the holidays....
    and me and the twins sat right there waiting...
    we didn't go anywhere. we just
    sat and waited and waited and waited and waited.....

    "i saw you with your new friends....
    you wear them so well...."

    i think you're saying it's okay
    to be more open now on this blog?
    whew.
    good. cuz sitting on the fence of
    "speak true"
    and
    "say nothing"

f***ing rides a pole so far up my a** it nearly pierces my brain, and i can't take it anymore, now that i am back home where people don't live in the smoke and mirrors.

oh, and don't let me forget this.

i still love that damn woman so much, i'm still trying to stop. i had a dream last where honey and i were fighting and going to get a divorce, and i woke up sobbing.... then i realized. oh. it's true. and then what do you do? when the horrible feeling in the dream gets to stay even after you wake up?

    there. there is my truth as of today.

    home again.
    home again.
    feeling true.
    feeling honest.

Here's Tammy Lynn doing a pre Jane Lynch "Glee" Madonna moves in his sitcom "Popular" (1900-2001). You are Vogue, Tammy. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
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