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Howard Stern to Tiger Woods' mistresses: Join my beauty pageant?
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Apparently Howard Stern has decided to organize a beauty pageant for the stable of Tiger Woods' mistresses -- and four of them have signed on already. The outlets are reporting that four of the 13 known mistresses have agreed to participate and that Stern has offered Woods' wife Elin Nordegren a spot at the judges' table.
We have so many questions!
First of all, which four have agreed to do it? Our money is on Loredana Jolie, Mindy Lawton, Holly Sampson and Joslyn James.
Secondly, why are those the competition categories? We expect Howard Stern to think outside the box. We want to see things like Pole Dancing, Sexting and Condom Application.
Finally, where can we watch this trainwreck?
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Eh, isn't it 'Elan,' not Elin?
Fear not, Andrea, I'm your go-to guy for all things Howard:
See? Howard TV. OnDemand. $13.99/mo, although it's possible this show might make it onto the individual Howard TV episode pay-per-view list.
Alternatively, Hear: Sirius/XM satellite radio. Channel 100.
Seriously, Andrea, where have you been hiding? Howard's been on satellite radio for, like, four years now. Has had his companion OnDemand Howard TV channel for the same amount of time.
Uh, no, her name is "Elin Nordegren."
This whole thing could hav been way worse. The only reason Tiger hasn't suffered as much as he could of is because he employed a tactic, which worked out for him, check out the story
http://bit.ly/priceofsilence
OK, my mistake.
But my Howard comments stand. If he gets that Tiger Woods' mistress beauty pageant going I'll bet it'll end up on Pay-Per-View (as some of his content regularly does), so you won't need a subscription to Howard TV to see it.