Heidi Montag wants a baby? Spencer Pratt wants a divorce!

Heidi Montag wants a baby.

And if she gets one, Spencer Pratt wants a divorce.

"If she gets pregnant, I told her there's a divorce or adoption," he told MTV News. "If she's not down with the adoption, I think it's divorce."

 Spencer says he doesn't want a baby for the obvious reason: There's only room for one big baby in the Pratt house!

"I'm a baby. ...," he says. "And I'm not sure the world wants a Spencer Pratt spawn."

He's got a point.

 "I think I was born ready," insists Heidi. "I'm very maternal. I'm very loving. I would be the best mom ever. [Spencer feels] not quite the same, but maybe he just doesn't know he wants kids yet. I think he never wants kids, but maybe I'll have a surprise for him."

If Spencer really feels that strongly about not having children, perhaps he shouldn't give Heidi those 30 orgasms a day. 

More Speidi Dish:

Heidi gets interviewed by Spencer in Playboy. Yeah, bet this is a real revelation.

Heidi gets dirty for Playboy. Spencer is thrilled!

Heidi Pratt talks possible Playboy, performing on Miss Universe.

Inside Speidi's torture chamber...

Did Heidi and Spencer lie about being tortured? We are soooo surprised.

Is Speidi's evil ratings plan working? Mmmwaaah-hahahahah

Speidi quits "I'm a Celebrity"? Hah. Wanna bet they'll be back tonight?

How dumb is Stephanie Pratt? Dumber than you'd think.

Photos: WireImage