Brett Ratner films crazed gorilla attack at Polo Lounge

Friday afternoon at the Polo Lounge, a gorilla wearing a pink tutu approached a table on the sun-dappled patio occupied by producer/director Brett Ratner and a male pal.

The gorilla began to berate Ratner until Brett told him that it wasn't his birthday.

Alarmed, and seemingly embarrassed, the gorilla began to insult Ratner's lunchmate, whose birthday it really was, about his sexuality. Then the gorilla sang an off-key birthday jingle.

I watched with amazement as Ratner reacted quickly and whipped out his cellphone to film the gorilla attack and birthday song, demonstrating his prowess by using various angles to catch the action.

Afterward, the director of "Rush Hour," X-Men: The Last Stand" and the upcoming "The Incredible Shrinking Man" waved to the gorilla as it happily waddled off.

Asked by a neighboring table if he'd been so quick on the shutter because he'd actually ordered the gorilla, Ratner replied, "I would have sent a beautiful girl, not a monkey."

And that, folks, is why he makes the big bucks.

Check out birthday ape action as it unfolded....

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Photos: Elizabeth Snead