Jimmy Kimmel praises Hollywood's publicists
Talk show host Jimmy Kimmel opened the 43rd annual ICG Publicists Guild Awards luncheon by saying grace.
"Thank you, Lord, for this food and these gifts," Kimmel said at the podium Wednesday, his head bowed. "Please watch over us and forgive us for all the lies we told Us Weekly last year. And please forgive us for all the lies we're going to tell Us Weekly next year." Amen.
Kimmel dubbed the awards "the Pubies" (pronounced pew-bies) and spoke admiringly of the work of all the powerhouse publicists packing the Beverly Hilton's International Ballroom. "It's been an incredible year for all of you," he said. "You've changed illicit affairs into love stories and turned eating disorders into diet tips. You even changed Tom Cruise from a couch-jumping lunatic into a man deeply in love with a woman one of you in this room set him up with."
On the Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson divorce, Kimmel marveled, "Thanks to someone here, Nick and Jessica broke up so many times last year that when the split was finally announced, it did not become a real national emergency and we all remained calm."
Kimmel felt whoever handled Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie deserved extra credit. "Talk about making lemonade out of a lemon. You have a man who cheated on his wife -- Jennifer Aniston, one of the most beloved humans outside of Oprah -- with a woman who, last time we checked, was making out with her brother and wearing Billy Bob's blood in a vial around her neck."
"But one of you here said, 'I know how to fix this. Brad will adopt a baby! And not just any baby. An Ethiopian baby! And we'll release lots of photos of him carrying it around but not letting it drive his car!' It was diabolical genius and you should be very proud."
Photo: Teri Hatcher cracks up at Jimmy Kimmel's offstage joke before she makes a Publicists Awards presentation.
(Craig T. Mathew / Mathew Imaging)
"Desperate Housewives" Teri Hatcher also got gushy when she presented the Television Showman of the Year Award to her dear friend, ABC honcho Stephen McPherson. Ditto Hilary Swank, who presented the Motion Picture Showmen of the Year award to Warner Bros. honchos Barry Meyer, chairman and CEO, and Alan Horn, president and COO.
Marcia Gay Harden actually read a poem she'd written for her publicist entitled, "My Publicist Always Wears Black" prompting Kimmel to recite a ditty for his own publicist: "Lewis Kay, I must say, I cannot believe, you're not gay," causing many in the audience to practically spit out their chocolate cake dessert.
Hatcher, who had so much fun at the "Pubies" that she agreed to appear on Kimmel's late night show, did such a good job presenting that he brought her back onstage to give another one to USA Today entertainment reporter Scott Bowles. Accepting his Press Award, Bowles also praised the pubs. "Thank you for this... Pubie. You guys do more work on my stories than I do. But I won't tell my bosses if you don't."
Oh-oh. Hope they don't read this.
Mr. Kimmel or should I simply address you as Mr. KKK:
I am deeply offended by your disrespectful remarks that are borderline racist in content. Your comments obviously reflect your views that are often associated with the gossip magazines.
You comment regarding the adoption of Zahara Jolie-Pitt was totally uncalled for. According to your narrow view, Brad Pitt should be forgiven because after-all, he did adopt an Ethiopian child. Well, 'praise the Lord' and how very bigoted of you. I guess Mr. Pitt should have just waited to produce 'blond hair, blue eyed children' with the very lovely cigarette smoking and margarita drinking, wonderful girl next door ex-wife. Since she is so great and did no wrong, why don't you marry her? Thought not! The fact is this - Mr. Pitt has adopted two children. (Perhaps you didn't have time to make a snide remark about Maddox's nationality). The content of referring to an infant as "it" is both degrading and dehumanizing. Regardless of a persons' nationality, race or plight in life, they deserve to be treated and referred to as human beings. Not 3/5th of a human being, but a full human being.
I know you are not humble, but I would like to offer a few words of advice. If you don't have anything substantial to add to a conversation, it's always best to keep quiet or risk being exposed. Don't result to gossip. Perhaps you thought your comments were cute or funny but I sincerely beg to differ, as you are much too mature to be considered as either.
I am hoping that your apparent "white robe" is tailored made as it seems to fit you well,
HI
I have read the article from Jimmy Kimmel ( 03/01)
i am in a very angry mood after that; sory but where is the humor when it comes to joking over a baby, an innocent ethiopien baby, called ZAHARA, and not "it" an object!!
a lot of people cracks up, but i find it miserable;
it is just growing up the hate and racism over Brad and Angelina and their children;
and Mr Kimmel, when it will come to speak about you, i'll say "it", I'm sure you'll find "it" very funny, ; understand? YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN OBJECT FOR ME NOW.
I hope a lot of decent people will react after your racist "joke"
don't forget, you are speaking to humans beens with feelings, and you can't joke about everything;
Wish it was your baby!! you 're joking around in front of stupid racist crew!!!!!
GO BRAD AND ANGELINA, YOU ARE A MODEL FOR ALL THE PEACEFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!
Fati, from west indies
Mr , if still i can call you this name;
i'm offended the way you spoke about "it", i mean the baby called ZAHARA MARLEY JOLIE PITT, yes, mister, she has a name; she not an object!
you found a "joke" and a lot of people cracks up, i find it and the crew miserable;
you must know, that we can't joke about everything, and when it comes over innocent baby , it's a shame!
may i call your children "it" , less than an animal, and make" jokes" over it all?
of course you are white, it is not laughable, LORD, is with you, your LORD!!
BRAD and Angelina are a model for all the peaceful people in the WORLD!
we are just watching at you and your racist and hateful crew , with a distance;
but beware, the standing for our rights and our convictions may NOT be a laughable "JOKE"
who can match with Brad and Angelina?
with a silent way, they are winning hearts of people, decents people in the world!
Mr. Kimmel
I have no observations to make when it comes to your kind of humour except regarding the following and I quote:
" (...) You have a man who cheated on his wife -- Jennifer Aniston, one of the most beloved humans outside of Oprah -- with a woman who, last time we checked, was making out with her brother and wearing Billy Bob's blood in a vial around her neck."
"(...) Brad will adopt a baby! And not just any baby. An Ethiopian baby! And we'll release lots of photos of him carrying it around but not letting it drive his car!'
Firstly, I believe it´s not up to you or anybody to judge what happened within the marriage of Mr. Pitt and Miss Aniston. I believe you were not part of the relationship, or were you Mr. Kimmel? Please do not state that someone cheated and the other one was cheated, if you´re not talking about your own marriage, relationship or whatever. If so, if you´re talking about your intimate life, my dear, please do spare us, will you?
Secondly, did I sense a sarcastic vision on adoption, Mr. Kimmel? Forgive me if I did, but my sense of humour does not allow me to find the slightest amusement in adoption, even less from a country like Ethiopia with so many orphan children, whom unfortunately do not have the chance as an average child from the USA has and whom probably won´t manage to survive beyond the age of 2 years old.
Thirdly, "it" Mr Kimmel is a child, named Zahara. A Human being. In case you´re not quite recalling the definition:
"Human being - Of, relating to, or characteristic of humans: the course of human events; the human race. Having or showing those positive aspects of nature and character regarded as distinguishing humans from other animals".
Please, do not make this mistake again, of considering "it" another human being, specially a child. Otherwise I´ll have to adress you on my future comments as "IT".
Mr Kimmel
I think you Rock, ive never laughed so Hard in my life!
Im really think some people need to learn how to take a joke, it is called
a 'Joke' for a reason people! Lighten up, how boring would life be without
humor.
(I'm writing not as a Jennifer Aniston fan. In actuality, I never cared one way or the other, and I was a Brad fan for over 12 years. However, I am a fan of marriage and fidelity.)
Kimmel's jokes were hilarious! He wasn't being racist. The country of origin of the child is irrelevant. Besides, the adoption part isn't really the main point of the joke anyway.
Not only were his jokes hilarious, they also had quite the ring of truth, didn't they?
What's a shame is you can't speak the truth these days unless you couch it inside a joke.
Kudos to him for having the nerve to call it like it is.
Besides, he's right.
These publicists did an excellent job of turning an adulterer and a homewrecker wth the morals of an ally cat into martyrs. All of a sudden, everyone is gushing over how they are such wonderful human beings for their humanitarian causes . . . but no amount of humanitarian conscience soothing changes the fact that Angelina went after what she wanted, regardless of the boundaries you are supposed to observe with a married man, and Brad, instead of dealing with any issues that may have been in his marriage, decided to take the easy way out and let another woman pull interfere in his relationship. Regardless of whether or not they slept together before he left Jen, it still equals leaving your wife for another woman.
Even though most of us still weren't fooled, what Kimmel did was let the publicists know they had done an excellent job of earning their money. And since some people have clearly bought what they are selling, they clearly have.
To Luke Friz - I completely agree! His jokes were hilarious! He wasn't being racist. That is a stupid comment. Its about time people quit tip toeing around. It's not like he was joking about God or anything, which alot of comedians do, by the way. That would be the only thing I'd find un-funny, rude, and foolish! These publicists did an excellent job of turning the truth. People act like the they're Christ Himself. If anything people are just being fooled by the bringers of the anti-christ themselves. This world is going to Hell in a hand basket. Watch the world news sometime. God bless, we need a little comedy.
Thank god for the last two posts!!! Way to go Mr Kimmel.
Kimmel, thank you for speaking what most of us are thinking.