'Lost': There's No Place Like Home, Part 2&3

Boy, it feels like we just started this We Have to Go Back campaign, doesn't it? Doesn't it? OK, maybe not so much. It's been a seven-month trek, filled with enough drama to fill a mystical Island. And by "drama" I mean "typos." My bad on that front. I blame the Army of the Dark for those, and the Army of the Light for somehow keeping me on the path when giving up seemed like a tantalizing option. But here we are, at the end of our long off-season journey. Just a little bit farther to go, Lost fans. Well, 4,000 words more to go, but still, who's counting?

There's No Place Like Home, Part 2&3

4) In Summary

"The wheels in the cave go round and round, round and round, round and round."

8) Now

Jack stumbles towards the Orchid, still woozy from that whole lack of appendix situation. As he and Sawyer come upon the station, they catch Hurley relieving himself in the jungle. Hugo and Sawyer share a moment of bromance, followed by a moment of quiet forgiveness between Hugo and Jack.

The three catch up to Locke, looking aimlessly around the garden above the Orchid. And here we go: our first Jack/Locke scene since the first episode of the season. Hard to believe, I know. Locke asks to speak with Jack alone.

Meanwhile Des, Jin, and Michael inspect the MOUNTAIN of C4 left behind by Keamy on the Kahana. Des notes that the bomb is attached to a radio transmitter, indicating remote detonation. He recognizes that Keamy's Krew has rigged the C4 to explode in a myriad of ways should they try and disable the bomb. No one wants to get Arzt'ed, that much is clear.

On the Island, Keamy leads Ben to the chopper. He wants to know why Widmore considers Ben so important; Ben wants to know if Charles ordered Keamy to kill Alex. Upon reaching the chopper, Kate pops out of the woods, seemingly running from someone. He tells Keamy she's a passenger of Oceanic 815, being chased by Ben's people. Ben gets this great, "Oh, the Sarajevo distraction, this is my favorite!" look on his face.

Whispers are heard, and soon the Others start picking the militia off, one at a time. In the distraction, Kate orders Ben to run with her. At that moment, someone tosses a grenade Keamy's way, and he hilariously hacky-sacks it into Omar's part of the Island. Aaaand boom goes the Omar. Keamy gives chase after Kate and Ben, and gets a torso-full of Sayid for his trouble. What follows is the single best fight in Lost history, as these two men go all Sydney/Fake Francie on each other (you're welcome, Alias fans).

It ends when Richard shoots Keamy in the back before he can strike a lethal blow upon Ben's future personal assassin. Ben thanks Richard for helping him; Richard says it's his pelasure. Translation: "About time!" "Just turn the damn donkey wheel already!" Ben asks the agreement while Kate cuts him free. Richard tells him: they help spring Ben, they get their freedom. Ben agrees, much to Kate's surprise. "That's it?" she asks. Stockholm Syndrome much?

Sawyer and Hurley share 15-year old Dharma crackers while Jack and Locke have their summit. Things are chummy between them until Hurley asks about Claire's welfare.

At the Orchid, Locke asks Jack to reconsider leaving the Island, telling him he's not supposed to go home. He insists that should Jack leave, the knowledge he made the wrong decision will eat him alive. Sensing his plea isn't working, he tells Jack he will have to lie about everything that's happened in order to protect the Island. It's not an Island, he tells Jack: it's a place where miracles happens. "And if you don't believe that, Jack, if you can't believe that...just wait until you see what I'm about to do." Jack denies the existence of miracles; Locke simply states one of them will be proven wrong soon enough.

Ben comes on the scene, oddly unconcerned with Jack's presence. He finds the door that Locke couldn't find, and casually tells Jack to meet Kate and Sayid at the helicopter. Before heading down into the Orchid, Locke reiterates the need to lie to a very, very confused Jack. Awesome stuff.

Michael is hauling liquid nitrogen towards the bomb. Sun's worried, yet tells Michael she's pregnant. Because, you know, not enough pressure on him already. Once back inside, Michael explains he's trying to freeze the trigger mechanism, but they only have one canister with which to do that. After that, they'll be back to square one.

Faraday returns to shore for Round 2 of rescue, unaware of what's happening on boat. Nearby, Rose scolds Miles for eating their Dharma peanuts. Heh. Faraday takes him and Charlotte aside, insisting they need to be on the next trip. However, Miles is sticking around. And he's confused why Charlotte wants to go, what with all that time spent trying to get back there. Um, what does he mean? "What DO I mean?" Miles cryptically asks, doing his best impression of a Lost writer.

Ben and Locke take the elevator ridiculously far underground. This place makes the Pearl look like it resides in a small ditch. He leads Locke into a room filled with crazy-looking equipment and empty animal cages. Locke annoys Ben by asking if this is the magic box. METAPHOR, John. It's a metaphor. Oh, nevermind. Locke has a lot of questions, but Ben doesn't have a lot of time. So he puts on a lovely tape for John to watch. Ben hauls various items around while the tape rolls. Hey, it's Marvin Candle...I mean, Mark Wickmund...I mean, Edgar Halliwax (Mr. Halliwax, if you're nasty). Course, none of those are actually his name, but we'll get to that another time.

He tells the viewer that the Orchid is not a botanical station, but rather a station that exploits the unique nature of the Island to manipulate time and space. On screen we see the same small room adjacent to the television. Halliwax implores the user to not place anything inorganic inside the room, while Ben hilariously throws every inorganic, metallic object he can find into the chamber.

In the video, Halliwax places a bunny with the number 15 on the side. He explains they are going to shift the bunny 100 milliseconds into the future. Wimps. 200 milliseconds, and I'd be impressed. Halliwax insists it may look like the rabbit disappears, but in actuality...well, we don't know, because the tape starts to automatically rewind at 3:05. Hmmm, that's an interesting number. And boy, it's not as if what followed next might explain what happens in roughly one hour, would it?

Locke asks Ben if he heard the tape correctly. "If you mean time travelling bunnies? Then yes." Hee. Ben rules. Locke's worried about Ben's violation of Rule #1 of the Orchid: do NOT talk about the Orchid! I mean, do not taunt Happy Fun Ball! Oh, right: don't put anything metallic inside the chamber. Ben seems to know what he's doing, in that he always has a plan and such. But before he can flip a switch, he hears the elevator suddenly start rising. Ben calmly asks John for his weapon back.

Hurley, Sawyer, and Jack meet up with Sayid and Kate at the chopper. Sawyer's impressed by the body count on the ground, though less thrilled by the intimacy between Kate and Jack. He cuts Lapidus free, and everyone gets aboard the chopper. Oh, they're all so excited!  So happy! Anyone else screaming at the TV, trying to stop what's about to happen? Yep, I'm right there with you.

Martin Effin' Keamy walks into the Orchid looking for Ben Freakin' Linus. Looks his his Kevlar vest stopped the bullets Richard put into him. Keamy taunts Ben, telling him about the "life insurance" policy on his arm: a "dead man's trigger" that will set off the C4 on the Kahana should his heart rate reach zero. Locke reveals his presence, stating he wants to talk. Keamy's not one to talk, but the conversation gives Ben the chance to sneak up from behind, use his Baton of Badassery, then plunge Keamy's own knife into the mercenary's neck. When Locke tells Ben in horror that he's killed everyone on the boat, Ben replies, "So?"

On the beach, Faraday's ready to take Charlotte on the boat. Looks like she's decided to stay as well. He wants to know why. "Would it make any sense if I told you I was still looking for where I was born?" He kisses him on the cheek, making this somehow the best day of his life, and heads back to camp. Juliet volunteers to stay until everyone else is safely off the island. Faraday and six people we don't know set off for the S.S. Kaboom.

Onboard, Des, Jin, and Michal are still trying to bypass Keamy's wires, with only a quarter-tank of liquid nitrogen left.

Over the ocean, Lapidus notes they are losing fuel at an alarming rate. Sayid notices a leak derived from the firefight earlier. Lapidus wants to return to shore, but Jack insists the press on, since there's no fuel on the Island. When Lapidus states they need to lose all excess weight, they start tossing what they can into the ocean But it's far from enough, and the boat's nowhere in sight. Hurley's worried he's about to get voted off the chopper. But right then, Sawyer whispers something in Kate's ear. "Why are you telling me this?" she asks. He then plants a kiss on her, much to Jack's EXTREME delight, then jumps off the chopper. So that's what Jack meant about making a choice, eh? Kind of an...awesome, heroic choice, Doctor Pill Popper. Kate starts shooting tear-stained daggers at Jack, who insists they will go back for Sawyer after refueling.

In the Orchid, Locke tries to keep Keamy alive. Keamy tells Ben no matter what happens, Widmore will find him. "Not if I find him first," replies Ben. Keamy dies, changing the light on his dead-man trigger from green to red. This changes the switch in the Kahana, prompting Michael to send the others out of the room. Five minutes until this thing goes up like an RPG'ed bungalow, apparently. As Des runs up to inflate the life rafts, he sees the helicopter landing. "Bloody hell," he remarks, in the understatement of the year. Jack hears the word "bomb," but Lapidus has no choice but to land.

Lapidus patches the bullet holes while others fuel the chopper.  Sun's eyes  stay on the door to the decks below, waiting for her husband to arrive. Kate tells her to get on the chopper with the baby, and she'll find Jin for her. Down below, Michael orders Jin to leave, stating he has responsibilities to his unborn child. Jin thanks him, and leaves. Before Kate can go down below, Jack pulls her onto the chopper. They take off, against Sun's protests, without Jin. They see him on the deck below as they pull away.

Michael watches in dismay as the liquid nitrogen runs out. Whispers are heard, and then we see notChristian. "You can go now, Michael," he tells him. And BOOM, the center of the Kahana explodes, and Sun lets out a scream that is no less powerful the second, third, fifteenth time through. My. God. She's inconsolable, until Jack flatly states, "He's gone." So is just about every good thought from everyone's heart and soul on that chopper. Jack wearily orders Lapidus to return to the Island for the rest of the survivors.

On shore, a shirtless Sawyer swims up to Juliet. Bow chica wow wow. He thinks she's admiring his abs, but she's in fact admiring the carnage offshore while swigging a bottle of Dharma rum. Sawyer looks back and sees a black pillar of smoke where the Kahana once was.

Ben finishes loading up the chamber with metallic objects, closes the door, and flips the switch. A large explosion can be seen inside the chamber. Ben announces he has to change. He then puts on the familiar Halliwax Dharka. He tells Locke he has to suffer the consequences for Jacob's decision to move the Island. Turns out the one who does so can never come back. Ben informs Locke Richard and the Others are waiting a few miles away, ready to follow his every word. He extends his hand to his successor, apologizing for making his life so miserable. Locke then walks to the spot Ben described, and finds a group of people thrilled to see their new savior. "Welcome home," says Richard.

OK, crazy fun time begins. Ben crawls through the hole created in the back of the chamber down a long, hollowed out tunnel in the rocks. At the end of the tunnel? A ladder, which leads down to a blue light. The light is in fact coming from below a sheet of ice, which Ben kicks through. Doing so makes Ben fall, and he catches his arm on the rocky wall. After noting his wound, he looks around in the bluish tinged ice cave, replete with hieroglyphics and a lantern that looks an awful lot like the one outside Jacob's cabin. We then catch glimpse of it: the frozen freakin' donkey wheel. Ben grabs two of the long spokes, looks up, and says, "I hope you're happy now, Jacob."

He starts to pry loose some of the built-up ice lodging the wheel in place. With a look of pain 15% physical and 85% emotional, he starts to slowly turn it clockwise. As he does so, a low hum can be heard all across, as well as off, the Island. As Ben reaches the wall, a yellowish light can be seen increasingly in intensity. Finally, the entire Island is bathed in light so bright everyone has to cover their eyes, even those aboard the chopper. By the time Jack and company can see again, all they can observe is a small ripple in the water, where they center of the Island used to be. The Island, ladies and gentlemen, has been moved.

The chopper's now out of fuel, and going down fast. They manage to all make it to the life raft, tossed out of the chopper before impact. Everyone's conscious except for Desmond. Jack performs CPR on him and successfully resuscitates the Scot. Once that's done, the energy goes out of everyone, as they sit all alone in the middle of the ocean, unable to fully process everything that's just happened.

That night, Kate calls Aaron surviving the crash "a miracle." That word doesn't sit well with Jack. What sits even worse with Jack is Hurley admiring how Locke moved the Island. Sarcasm and bickering get put aside as Lapidus sees a boat in the near horizon. While everyone else calls out for help, Jack remembers something he heard on the Island. "We have to lie," he mutters, prompting shock on everyone else's face. He worries what will happen should they own up to the fake crash, and what will happen to those left behind. Kate worries they can't pull it off, but Jack asks them to simply let him do the talking.

Aboard the approaching ship, we hear what sure as hell sounds like Portuguese. And then everyone at home realizes who owns this boat: Penelope Widmore. Holy sh$t. What follows is the reunion I would have bet a year's salary I'd never see until Season 6: the two stare at each other, in disbelief, then fall into a kiss three years in the making. After learning she tracked them via his phone call aboard the Kahana, he vows to never leave her again. Desmond then introduces Penny to the rest of the group. "We need to talk," says Jack, aka Captain Buzzkill.

Later on, Sayid reminds Hurley of the name of the nearby Island: Membata. They've sailed halfway around the world in order to make their story believable. Jack and Des both make sure the other is OK with the plan they've established. Jack warns him to make sure "they" don't find him, then says he'll see him in another life. The Oceanic 6 then get aboard a small tender and head for the nearby Island, using makeshift oars to make their way ashore. They bear a mixture of relief and unbearable guilt. Be careful what you wish for, people.

15) Later

We pick up right where we left off at the end of Season 3. Jack tells Kate once again, "We have to go back!" Now THAT is a catchy phrase. I'll need to remember to co-opt it one of these days. But the scene continues this time around, with Kate angrily driving back and accosting Jack for such a notion. She and Jack discuss "Jeremy Bentham," the man in the coffin. Kate can't understand why Jack believed what Jeremy had to say to them recently. Jack says Bentham's plan is the only way to keep her and Aaron safe. The name "Aaron" prompts Kate to slap him, after which she tells him she still has to explain to the child why Jack isn't around anymore. She leaves, telling him she will never go back to the Island.

In Santa Rosa, Hurley gets a vistor: Walt's grandmother. She wants to know if he's dangerous before revealing Walt is there. Walt is...old. Like, Obama old. Soooo weird seeing him. Sooo cool. Please be involved in Season 5, Big Tall Old Obama Walt. He wants to know why none of the Oceanic 6 visited him, especially since Jeremy Bentham managed to make the time for a sit-down. Walt asks why they are all lying; Hurley tells them it's to protect those still on the Island. "Like my dad?" Walt asks. "Like your dad, yea," Hurley repeats. Hurley just can't bring himself to tell Walt the truth.

Sayid asks a man sitting in a parked car for the time. It's 8:15 pm, which means it's killing...it's killing TIIIIME. Sayid plugs him with bullets, then enters the location the man was staking out: Santa Rosa. He finds Hurley alone, playing chess. He wants to bring Hurley somewhere safe. Why now? Bentham's dead, that's why. That wakes Hurley from his stupor. According to the papers, it was suicide, though Sayid clearly doesn't believe this. He tells Hurley they are being watched, and they need to leave right away. As Hurley leaves the room, he makes sure Sayid's not taking him to the Island. "Just somewhere safe," Sayid says. Before leaving, Hurley makes one final move on the board and says, "Checkmate, Mr. Eko." Daaaamn.

Sun answers her phone in London, England. She tells her mother that she's there on some business. Turns out that business is with a certain Charles Widmore. She introduces herself as the Managing Director of Paik Industries. After some small talk about her father's golf game, Sun asks Widmore to stop pretending her doesn't know who she is. She then tells him they have common interests, and when he's ready to discuss them, she's all ears. After all, he knows all too well who else left the Island. Widmore's confused why Sun would want to help him.

Kate wakes up in the middle of the night, and almost immediately gets a phone call. We hear a few clicks and then someone speaking what sounds like backwards talk, and then we hear a door creak inside of Kate's house. She finds her gun and heads into Aaron's room. Inside? Claire, who tearfully, then forefully, tells Kate not to bring Aaron back. And then...Kate wakes up, for real this time. She runs to Aaron's room and finds him alone, and asleep. He's dreaming about turnips or something. Kate says, "I'm sorry," over and over again to him.

After his less-than-stellar encounter at LAX with Kate, Jack heads back to the funeral parlor. He breaks the door open with a nearby rock, letting himself in to see Jeremy Bentham once more. He opens the casket to look upon Bentham's face for the first time. His drunken stupor is broken by the arrival of Ben Linus. Looks like this is the first time they've seen each other since Jack left the Island. But Jack knew Ben was around, thanks to his visit with Jeremy a month ago. Apparently, some bad stuff went down on the Island, and it was Jack's fault for leaving. To make things right, he told Jack he had to go back.

Ben tells Jack that he's heard about Jack's recent air travel, but that he can't go alone: the Island wants ALL of them to go back. Jack points out the strained relationships between the group; Ben offers his help in getting the band back together. "I have a few ideas," he tells Jack. Naturally. As Jack leaves, Ben stops him short. "I said all of you. We're gonna have to bring him too." The camera pans over the coffin to reveal "Jeremy Bentham."

You know him as John Locke.

See ya in Season 5!

16) The Mythology

That's a lot of mythology, people. And if you've made it this far in the recap, I won't punish you with an equal amount here. But a few notes about the biggies dropped on our head, Wile E. Coyote-style.

notChristian on the Boat. Zap2It reader Eric noted back in my recap for "Confirmed Dead" that Christian echoes Miles' statement earlier in the season when he tells Michael, "You can go now." I can't help but feel the Army of the Dark kept the C4 cool long enough to let Aaron escape successfully. If the Islad can prevent guns from going off, it can do the same for explosives. (Kinda makes you feel bad for good ol' Arzt...the Island was totally indifferent to his annoying self.) Getting that kid away from the Island was the Number #1 priority, and if doing that meant everyone else aboard ends up a miserable wreck in a few years, well, them's the breaks. So long as Turnip Head is raised by another, the Army of the Dark wins.

Home Sweet Home for Charlotte. The fact that Miles and Charlotte want to stay suggests that what we saw in "Confirmed Dead" may have been both flash backs (ie, they happened pre-crash) and yet somehow flash forwards (ie, they have already been to the Island in the past, then come back out somehow). Ditto goes for Faraday, who starts crying upon seeing Oceanic 815 discovered upon the ocean floor. Subliminally, he knows the cycle's about to start again. Such a convoluted construction also helps explain why Abaddon needs Naomi to keep them all alive so badly: their deaths would create a paradox or prevent them from aiding him when he steps on the Island to assume his rightful position as Island Badass.

The Orchid. I love the phrase "negatively charged exotic matter." Sounds like we're talking about some hot Swedes that just had their Visas cards denied at Pravda. But such a phrase is the moment the show took off the gloves and said, "OK, anyone who's not ready to go to some seriously weird places in the next two years, get off now and catch Two and a Half Men in syndication." Such "exotic matter" is both unique and yet not: Isaac of Uluru alludes to similar, though different, sources of energy throughout the world. Perhaps tapping into one of those will enable the Oceanic 6 to return.

Jeremy Bentham. It's worth noting that Bentham the philosopher essentially gave the middle finger to Locke the philosopher. (You can read more in-depth analysis in my upcoming book, "Philosophically Flipping the Bird.") So the name Bentham is both an alias and a refutation of Locke's former self, especially his outlook on life. Whereas Locke preferred natural rights (morality irrespective and independent of legal/societal rules), Bentham advocated utilitarianism (an act is as moral as its outcome). Locke's perspective seems apt for one anxious to live outside society's rules and more in harmony with a primal sense of right/wrong. The latter quite frankly means the ends justify the means. Can't wait to find out how that change came about in poor John's head.

23) The Moment

That donkey wheel scene is a Litmus test for Lost fans. You either fell in love with the show all over again or left the room, wishing it were still a show about finding water.

42) In Retrospect

There's no retrospect. This is it. All we have to go on. The end. The finale. Those of us that have remain unspoiled have no more to go on. Can you believe it? I sure can't. I'm almost besides myself, watching some devilishly handsome (albeit prematurely balding) man typing these words out.

108) In Summary

The "We Have to Go Back" project is possibly the single-biggest undertaking I've assumed as a writer. I pitched it to the powers that be at Zap2It near the end of Season 4, when they asked me my plans for the off-season. Apparently, "sleep" didn't sound like a good plan to them, so thus this started. Eight-two episodes and roughly 200,000 words later, my hands/wrists are wishing I'd opted for the sleeping option.

But it's been a fantastic journey, both as a writer, a Lost fan, and one who has grown to respect and appreciate the community created through our mutual love of the show. You guys keep me on my toes as well as inspire me, and I appreciate it more than you know. I'd also love to give a shout out to my wife, Diana, for proofing every one of these recaps, in addition to everything else I put up here. God bless her for all that hard work.

We're on the brink of a new season, and I can't wait to discuss it all with you. The ramp up to Season 5 starts now.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have a celebratory drink. I think a JACK and coke will suffice.

Namaste.

Leave your thoughts about this episode below!

Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude, then peruses Zap2It's Guide to Lost Facebook group. He also encourages you to join the all-new Zap2It's Guide to Lost Twitter feed. He's very tired, but extremely happy.