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Twitter'Lost': Now you see it, now you don't
There are times when I can manage my Lost addiction. It takes willpower, some medication, and the latest Yanni album in order to Bruce Banner me into submission. But most of the time, I wanna go all Hulk on my favorite show, but instead of "HULK SMASH," I'm all about "RYAN SING!" You might think this is a less destructive path, but then again, you probably haven't heard me sing.
So let's channel some Joey Ramone up here in this joint so I may serenade my favorite show...
Forty, forty, forty-eight hours to goooo, and then we get some new Lost
Told all my friends to leave me aloooone, so I can watch some new Lost
Just get me to the TV, to the Island go!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, I want to see the show!
Can't control my bowels, my wife she says, "Oh woe!"
Oh oh oh oh oh....
Well, that was just special, wasn't it? I know, a masterpiece. They should have asked me to write the song for the finale of American Idol. But since I'm a kind blogger, I'm going to wash down the rancid taste of my voice down with some honest-to-goodness Lost footage from this week's finale.
I don't want to comment too much on the scene, in case people want to avoid it and remain spoiler-free, but I couldn't help notice an echo to the mobisode, "King of the Castle." Very anvil-y dialogue in there, if ya ask me. Which you didn't, but still. But this little clip whet my whistle, I must say, and has led me to ask myself: What else are we going to see this week? And perhaps more importantly, what AREN'T we going to see?
With that in mind, here are five examples of each. Let's start with what we won't see.
Five Things We Won't See in the Season Finale
The Island actually "move." We will see up until the millisecond of this, I think, but both the mechanics and destination should be as much a mystery to us as the Oceanic 6. Also, this is a midichlorian type deal: overexplaining it will only make it worse. This is one of the few times I'm actually begging the show to not give specific answers.
Any further appearances of Jacob. Methinks Jacob's been hijacked by the Eastern Mountain Sports edition of notChristian, and won't appear until at least Season 5. Heck, I wouldn't be shocked if he's out of sight until Season 6.
Ben leaving the Island. We see him in the Sahara in 2005; but I don't think he leaves before the Island moves. In fact, I'm wagering someone else leaves the Island this week. A person on Oceanic 815. A person quite surprised to find him/herself off the Island. (More geek references here: think the Fortress of Solitude in Superman II's climatic scene. Extrapolate. Analyze. Strike a pose. There's nothing to it. Vogue.)
Hurley doing the Numa Numa dance. Yikes.
Who exactly kicks the bucket on the Freighter. Methinks the freighter will go boom. Methinks that we're supposed to believe at least one beloved character (or Michael) will go boom as well. Methinks this will be shot in a way that there's enough uncertain to fill message boards until next January.
Five Things We Will See in the Season Finale
The rationale behind the Oceanic 6's cover story. I think we'll finally learn the origin of this cover story, because...
One, probably two, major characters on the show will shuffle off this mortal coil. These deaths will tie into the cover story, informing it in some critical way.
Time travel. Get ready, time travel hatahs: your hour of judgment is nigh. Did you know the Orchid runs on 1.21 gigawatts of electricity? OK, I made that up.
Penelope Widmore interact with long-standing Lost characters. Not I don't say she'll encounter Desmond, but I think she'll pop up in some fashion this week, and not via phone or computer screen.
A super smoochie. All the producers talk about is a megafantastic OMG LOL type of kiss in this final episode, to the point where you wonder if the characters of Gossip Girl have started giving interviews for the show. I hope Darlton do not have spouses, because it sounds like this kiss contains all the passion missing from their marriages, to hear them speak of it.
***
So there you have it, folks. But that's a single list from a mere mortal. What do you think we'll see this week? What questions will remain unanswered? Leave your thoughts below!
Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude.
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
seriously ryan. that's just plain MEAN!!! you can't mention the clip and then not post the link to it!!!!
POUTY LIP!!!! :-{
OMG ... what Locke said to Jack gave me chills ... so prophetic!
mri: The clip's embedded...can you not see it?
Ryan, to me Michael is a beloved character as he is with a lot of fans. It kills me when you use him as the butt of jokes... WAAAAAALLLTTTT!!!! I want to see a blog on why people hate this guy and have good reasons to back it up. I got my argument already planned out.
BTW, I have started reading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King and in the middle of The Gunslinger. Maybe mention this in the Misfits of Sci-Fi section, Ry?
Greetings from the North. It's been a long day, but my "Constant" pulled through like a champ.
On point however, I don't think it's hard to explain the island moving.
Pertaining to the "mechanics" of the island, I would expect that the island (offset in time) will have it's coordinates changed, not physically moved. In fact, I've posted this before. **Recall how important following coordinates to the island actually is to the traveler.**
I've felt that the island (as it relates to time) is a big clock with minute and second designations around the cir***ference. Or even relate this to how pilots spot things in the sky. (ie "that mysterious object was cruising at 550 mph at 2 o'clock off of the starboard, roger Roger") Now if you want to get off of the island at one o'clock, you'll end up offset in time, say, by a day. Try 3:05? Well, bud, that'll get ya within a half hour, and that's not too bad.
Here's what I think will happen at the end of this season: Imagine lifting the face of the clock and pivoting the whole thing around by and hour or so.
It throws all of your coordinated entry points to the island off and essentially hides the island or at least making it a more harrowing adventure than it was before. Heck, even making it a deathwish.
i may be stoopid, but i don't see it. i can click on the Numa Numa dance and all the other links, but i see nuttin' for the video link...
i've been stoopider before.
oh, and BOTN, yay for your constant!! :-)
Good to hear everything went well BOTN ;)
Great news abt your "Constant" BOTN! And I'm so going to use the term on my wedding vows! "X... you are my Constant! Just like Penny and Desmond managed to find each other across the oceans and hold unto their love, you and I found each other..." Cheesy I know but my brain is still recovering from Ryan's mention of 2 of my biggest ennemies in one post (Yanni and Gossip Girls)!
48 hours to go!
mri, did you try pressing Play???
As far as not seeing Jacob on Thursday, I wouldn't be surprised if we never really "see" him. Lost can reveal a lot of things, but keeping the face of Jacob a mystery might not be a bad idea.
Also, I hope they don't save moving the island until the very end. I'm sure they will, but it seems like it would take less time for Locke to go down in the station and pull the trigger.