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'Lost': Now you see it, now you don't
There are times when I can manage my Lost addiction. It takes willpower, some medication, and the latest Yanni album in order to Bruce Banner me into submission. But most of the time, I wanna go all Hulk on my favorite show, but instead of "HULK SMASH," I'm all about "RYAN SING!" You might think this is a less destructive path, but then again, you probably haven't heard me sing.
So let's channel some Joey Ramone up here in this joint so I may serenade my favorite show...
Forty, forty, forty-eight hours to goooo, and then we get some new Lost
Told all my friends to leave me aloooone, so I can watch some new Lost
Just get me to the TV, to the Island go!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, I want to see the show!
Can't control my bowels, my wife she says, "Oh woe!"
Oh oh oh oh oh....
Well, that was just special, wasn't it? I know, a masterpiece. They should have asked me to write the song for the finale of American Idol. But since I'm a kind blogger, I'm going to wash down the rancid taste of my voice down with some honest-to-goodness Lost footage from this week's finale.
I don't want to comment too much on the scene, in case people want to avoid it and remain spoiler-free, but I couldn't help notice an echo to the mobisode, "King of the Castle." Very anvil-y dialogue in there, if ya ask me. Which you didn't, but still. But this little clip whet my whistle, I must say, and has led me to ask myself: What else are we going to see this week? And perhaps more importantly, what AREN'T we going to see?
With that in mind, here are five examples of each. Let's start with what we won't see.
Five Things We Won't See in the Season Finale
The Island actually "move." We will see up until the millisecond of this, I think, but both the mechanics and destination should be as much a mystery to us as the Oceanic 6. Also, this is a midichlorian type deal: overexplaining it will only make it worse. This is one of the few times I'm actually begging the show to not give specific answers.
Any further appearances of Jacob. Methinks Jacob's been hijacked by the Eastern Mountain Sports edition of notChristian, and won't appear until at least Season 5. Heck, I wouldn't be shocked if he's out of sight until Season 6.
Ben leaving the Island. We see him in the Sahara in 2005; but I don't think he leaves before the Island moves. In fact, I'm wagering someone else leaves the Island this week. A person on Oceanic 815. A person quite surprised to find him/herself off the Island. (More geek references here: think the Fortress of Solitude in Superman II's climatic scene. Extrapolate. Analyze. Strike a pose. There's nothing to it. Vogue.)
Hurley doing the Numa Numa dance. Yikes.
Who exactly kicks the bucket on the Freighter. Methinks the freighter will go boom. Methinks that we're supposed to believe at least one beloved character (or Michael) will go boom as well. Methinks this will be shot in a way that there's enough uncertain to fill message boards until next January.
Five Things We Will See in the Season Finale
The rationale behind the Oceanic 6's cover story. I think we'll finally learn the origin of this cover story, because...
One, probably two, major characters on the show will shuffle off this mortal coil. These deaths will tie into the cover story, informing it in some critical way.
Time travel. Get ready, time travel hatahs: your hour of judgment is nigh. Did you know the Orchid runs on 1.21 gigawatts of electricity? OK, I made that up.
Penelope Widmore interact with long-standing Lost characters. Not I don't say she'll encounter Desmond, but I think she'll pop up in some fashion this week, and not via phone or computer screen.
A super smoochie. All the producers talk about is a megafantastic OMG LOL type of kiss in this final episode, to the point where you wonder if the characters of Gossip Girl have started giving interviews for the show. I hope Darlton do not have spouses, because it sounds like this kiss contains all the passion missing from their marriages, to hear them speak of it.
***
So there you have it, folks. But that's a single list from a mere mortal. What do you think we'll see this week? What questions will remain unanswered? Leave your thoughts below!
Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude.
seriously ryan. that's just plain MEAN!!! you can't mention the clip and then not post the link to it!!!!
POUTY LIP!!!! :-{
mri | May 27, 2008 5:06:10 PM | #OMG ... what Locke said to Jack gave me chills ... so prophetic!
Erwin | May 27, 2008 5:14:29 PM | #mri: The clip's embedded...can you not see it?
Ryan | May 27, 2008 5:16:00 PM | #Ryan, to me Michael is a beloved character as he is with a lot of fans. It kills me when you use him as the butt of jokes... WAAAAAALLLTTTT!!!! I want to see a blog on why people hate this guy and have good reasons to back it up. I got my argument already planned out.
BTW, I have started reading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King and in the middle of The Gunslinger. Maybe mention this in the Misfits of Sci-Fi section, Ry?
Mark O. Estes | May 27, 2008 5:20:49 PM | #Greetings from the North. It's been a long day, but my "Constant" pulled through like a champ.
On point however, I don't think it's hard to explain the island moving.
Pertaining to the "mechanics" of the island, I would expect that the island (offset in time) will have it's coordinates changed, not physically moved. In fact, I've posted this before. **Recall how important following coordinates to the island actually is to the traveler.**
I've felt that the island (as it relates to time) is a big clock with minute and second designations around the circumference. Or even relate this to how pilots spot things in the sky. (ie "that mysterious object was cruising at 550 mph at 2 o'clock off of the starboard, roger Roger") Now if you want to get off of the island at one o'clock, you'll end up offset in time, say, by a day. Try 3:05? Well, bud, that'll get ya within a half hour, and that's not too bad.
Here's what I think will happen at the end of this season: Imagine lifting the face of the clock and pivoting the whole thing around by and hour or so.
It throws all of your coordinated entry points to the island off and essentially hides the island or at least making it a more harrowing adventure than it was before. Heck, even making it a deathwish.
i may be stoopid, but i don't see it. i can click on the Numa Numa dance and all the other links, but i see nuttin' for the video link...
i've been stoopider before.
mri | May 27, 2008 5:26:48 PM | #oh, and BOTN, yay for your constant!! :-)
mri | May 27, 2008 5:27:50 PM | #Good to hear everything went well BOTN ;)
Erwin | May 27, 2008 5:48:55 PM | #Great news abt your "Constant" BOTN! And I'm so going to use the term on my wedding vows! "X... you are my Constant! Just like Penny and Desmond managed to find each other across the oceans and hold unto their love, you and I found each other..." Cheesy I know but my brain is still recovering from Ryan's mention of 2 of my biggest ennemies in one post (Yanni and Gossip Girls)!
48 hours to go!
mri, did you try pressing Play???
As far as not seeing Jacob on Thursday, I wouldn't be surprised if we never really "see" him. Lost can reveal a lot of things, but keeping the face of Jacob a mystery might not be a bad idea.
Also, I hope they don't save moving the island until the very end. I'm sure they will, but it seems like it would take less time for Locke to go down in the station and pull the trigger.
A-Rob | May 27, 2008 7:13:39 PM | #"X... you are my Constant! Just like Penny and Desmond managed to find each other across the oceans and hold unto their love, you and I found each other..." - that is so cute ...
Erwin | May 27, 2008 7:24:57 PM | #A-Rob, i'm stoopid, but not that stoopid. apparently, my browser is being fussy and won't let me see it. :-( still have a pouty lip, but it's not Ryan's fault.
mri | May 27, 2008 7:31:54 PM | #I think it's fairly obvious who the fabulous kiss is between. Not one of the main things I'm looking forward to, but maybe it will be better in the moment.
I too believe (and have been saying this for over a week now) that the biggest cliffhanger besides the 'frozen donkey wheel' will be who survives the Kahana explosion. The O6 will get rescued thinking that those on-board, when it exploded, were killed.
I too think that this finale will not be complete without an appearance by Penelope Widmore. The big twist here would be if Penny finally gets to the Island, it moves, then Desmond is off-Island wondering where it went. (Trust me, I have managed to keep myself away from ALL of Lostfan108's spoilers. I say that because it really feels that this may actually happen.)
Shaggysteve | May 27, 2008 7:48:26 PM | #Of course we know who is going to be kissing in the season finale: Jack and Sawyer! That'll get rid of that nasty sexual tension that's been in the air for four seasons, and we can get back to seeing what happens when they get off/try to get off the Waaaaaalt-ing island. Betcha Jack pops his stitches, though...
Seriously (and don't read this part if you don't want potential spoilers, even ones that were in the previews), I think the island itself will not move, since Ben said it will, and I trust him as much as I would trust Roseanne Barr with a submarine sandwich (if that offends a certain easily-offended constant reader, you may wield my velvet cat o'nine tails a few times, free of charge). Instead, I think the Oceanic 6 end up off course whilst on the helicopter, which makes it impossible for them to return to the island, either forcing them to ditch near an inhabitated spot of land, or fly back to the freighter, which has to go back to port because they also got off course and subsequently "lost" the island (pun intended). Either way, it's either going to be a helluva finale, or the biggest disappointment since the idiots at Fox canceled Firefly. As for Penelope making an appearance off-Island, that would be a bit ironic (if cruelly so) if she finally reaches Desmond's position, only to discover that he is now in a parallel universe and can no longer accept her collect calls (and forget about roaming charges, *shudder*)...
Eh, what do I know? I'm just looking forward to it, and the inevitable year-long discussion of same that will result until season five starts (whenever that may be). Break out the beer (for those of you who imbibe) and the Doritos!
Dark Disciple | May 27, 2008 8:18:32 PM | #Ha mri, maybe the link put on its Dharka and moved with the island.
This may be a stretch, but might the island have "moved" in season 2 when they didn't press the button and Des turned the fail safe key. We saw the sky turn purple and everthing with the ice cavers, but what if this action created an Orchid like after shock. But then again, how would that explain Ben's directions to Michael on the boat?
A-Rob | May 27, 2008 8:25:25 PM | #Final Scene:
Penny asks Papa Widmore: What did you do?
Dark Disciple, by any way, was the " a certain easily-offended constant reader" comment directed at me??? If so, I don't think Gloria Steinem will revoke my membership at Feminist R Us if I fail to get up in arms over a Roseanne Barr comment!
I think the kiss will either be between Charlotte and Faraday or Desmond and Penny (maybe a flash-forward kiss). Either way, I don't know what the big deal is.
Concerning the displacement of the island, I'm wondering how the move will affect the space/time continuum. I mean, will the difference in time between the island and the "real word' increase or decrease? And by how much? And wouldn't moving the island make it temporiraly visible? Also, do all the Oceanic 6 have the apparent life immunity that Jack and Locke seems to enjoy? If Sayid does, how could he be bleeding after one of the Ben-sanctionned killing spree? And who is the mysterious "Economist" that on Ben's hit list? We know it's not Widmore, so what interest does he represent?
Melissa | May 27, 2008 8:56:59 PM | #No, Melissa, you're safe, lol. Actually, that was just directed at a certain person (who I won't name, as I don't roll that way) who gives me grief elsewhere more than here for my occasional, er, "negligent" posts about certain people I just don't care for, Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell amongst them. Generally, I take all comers, but when people focus more on one half of one sentence, rather than the entire post, I tend to get a mite irked. So, no, that wasn't a shot across your bow; unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case I'd like to introduce you to my cannon (har-de-har-har-har). *sigh, that Hessian/Celtic ancestry, what can ya do? :P
Dark Disciple | May 27, 2008 9:20:28 PM | #It would be nice if, for a change of pace (not to be confused with a Charlie Pace), they actually DIDN'T kill someone for once at the end of a season. But I digress, even the Island likely doesn't have the power to prevent that.
I'm still thinking that the Orchid and "moving the Island" ties into the Swan's original "incident" and why the damn button had to be pushed. It was Ben moving the Island that caused the time difference anomalies we have seen throughout Season 4, and whatever Locke ends up doing is just going to frack everything up even worse.
As for the kiss, if it's Hurley and Sun, I'm outta here; game over, man.
Other Sean | May 28, 2008 2:03:44 AM | #BOTN Great news about your constant!!!
Ryan
we know the only way to generate 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is with a bolt of lightning (at least it was in 1985). Let's get serious.
Welcome, my son
Welcome to the machine - Pink Floyd
I think inside the Orchid is going to be an awesome sight.
No, we won't see the island actually "move" but we will probably see some of the effects moreso than just the purple sky and a little earth shake.
If the kiss is between who I think it is....*YAWN*
That would be really ironic if Penny ended up in Des's position and he's now searching for her. It would be even more interesting because, if she's on the island then both Ben and Charles Widmore are searching for two different things that ended up in the same place and don't know it.
I still can;t believe the Swan station is completely gone. Sayid said something to Jack in Season 2 about there possibly being a geothermal power source behind all that concrete and that he'd only heard about concrete being poured over everything once, at Chernobyl. The Swan may still have some properties that are important to being able to move the island, in conjunction with the Orchid station.
Well It's not a fight
and I'm not your captive
Turn me loose tonight
"cause I'm radioactive - The Firm
What is the island is radioactive? Concrete? Chernobyl? Were they supposed to be clues?
Was the "incident" or "accident" indicated on the blast door map and in the orientation video a case of the island being moved once before? What happens when the island is moved? Does it change the constitution of the island, the properties. I be Ben doesn't even know what will happen.
Sorry about my typos.
That should read What IF the island is radioactive.
And
I BET Ben doesn't even know.
Chris | May 28, 2008 6:20:42 AM | #I think the kiss will be more spectacular than you guys are thinking. I don't think it's just gonna be two characters snogging; it'll be an important kiss in several ways.
The "Incident" was a reactor leak in the Swan that necessitated the establishment of the button protocol, nothing more, nothing less.
And I totally think Ben is leaving the Island in this episode. Given how much they focused on the Dharka and especially the cut in Ben's arm, we're gonna see what that's all about.
Jeff | May 28, 2008 6:58:18 AM | #So, you're saying;
sometimes a reactor leak is just a reactor leak?
Chris | May 28, 2008 7:01:34 AM | #Why, yes I am :)
I think at the very most, the only thing more we might learn about the incident is that it was what took Dr. Candle's arm.
Jeff | May 28, 2008 7:13:12 AM | #I think that Lostfan108 deserves to be BTRWRTHD for posting spoilers, specifically for blindly posting on AICN back in '07 and ruining the end of S3 for me. Avoid anything with his/her/its name attached to it!
Brian of the North | May 28, 2008 7:13:42 AM | #
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