OK, I'll admit it: this writer's strike has me a bit frazzled. I didn't think we'd even get to a strike in the first place, but once it started, I thought, "OK, that's fine, someone will wimp out and everything will be back to normal." Well, clearly I was wrong, as the two sides have devolved into a he said/she said scenario, and they are both fighting tooth and nail over who gets to take the coffee table, and neither's giving any ground. If these two sides were your friends, you'd just let each call to you go directly to speed-dial and pray everything works itself out before you're forced to pick sides.

I've been a good little monkey about trying to hide my panic, but it's starting to creep in, sort of like when I'm channel-surfing and my cable box locks up on a Pauly Shore movie. Not fun, people. So I have to mentally prepare for the fact that there's a chance you, I, and Grandma Edna won't get a full season of Lost come 2008. This is terrible, this is tragic, and ranks slightly below a scenario involving a virus that kills 93% of the population in terms of overall awfulness. (OK, maybe more than slightly below.)

But there's no reason that a simple implosion of a season of Lost should deprive us all from the characters of our favorite show. We just have to get creative, that's all. Gotta use the ol' noggin. And my noggin is telling me that in the wake of this writer's strike, the one thing that will rule supreme in the television landscape is reality programming. I happen to generally loathe reality television, but I might think otherwise if characters from Lost were to start populating these particular programs.

What shows would they be in? Glad you asked! I just so happen to have a few ideas.

Temptation Island: Kate and Sawyer

Reviving this show may be in the works, given the need for a tremendous amount of original programming in the wake of the strike. These two would be a natural fit, since the second Island onto which they were brought by the Others served as a type of temptation island already. And hey, there's less likelihood of Kate dying on Temptation Island during week 23 of her pregnancy that she would on Lost's Island, right?

Miami Ink: Jack

Jack clearly belongs on this show, what with his own tattoos and all. Put him in charge of the shop, and he can bellow motivational speeches like, "If we can't ink together...then we're going to die alone!"

The Swan: Desmond

Given the fact that Desmond spent three years inside a hatch dubbed "The Swan," he gets assigned a series of specialists in order to finally be worthy of the love of his life, Penelope. Hopefully at least one of these coaches chops off his mullet.

Big Brother: Benjamin Linus

Let's see: a psychological game involving people trapped in a domestic situation from which they cannot escape. Done and done, Ben's in, he's winning the million dollars, and he'll most likely make Julie Chen cry on live television. Let's make this happen, people.

The Biggest Loser: Hurley

If it helps, I feel really, really bad about making this situation. Hopefully that removes a little bit of the grease on the slope to Hades down which I'll eventually plummet.

The Amazing Race: Sayid/Locke

Could these two possibly be defeated? This would be the biggest landslide in the history of the show. Other teams would try and gang up on them, ala Boston Rob and Amber, but Locke would probably throw a knife into their spine once he found about it while Sayid slid reeds under their fingernails. In addition, there's a good chance Locke already knows every ritual of every tribe that they could possibly come across in their worldwide journey. However, their lack of fervor regarding air travel in the lieu of their last trip could prove an Achilles heel.

Survivorman: Danielle Rousseau

Anyone who can survive 16 years on the Island by herself could easily survive for a week in Alaska, is all I'm saying. And I've never seen an episode of Survivorman in which his goal for the week is to find a hatch, so Danielle's biggest weakness won't be exposed in this show. (Seriously, never found one, Danielle? In 16 years? Really?)

Supernanny: Claire

I mean, it's not like her old nanny's going to be very useful now, right?

***

Now it's your turn: into what reality shows would YOU inject characters of Lost? The most creative answer wins a fish biscuit.

Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude.

Comments

I'd put Jin on The Deadliest Catch, since he's so awesome at catching fish and all. Or maybe I'd put Jin on the Extreme Home Makeover Show with Ty so they could talk about how awesome is it to drink and drive.

And I'd make Ben the Host of Deal or No Deal. Just to see him stare down the contestants and make them press the buzzer before they even pick 1 suitcase.

Now where's my fish biscuit!?

Casey | Nov 7, 2007 7:39:23 PM | #

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You HAFTA throw Mythbusters in there somewhere.

"This episode of Mythbusters, does entering the numbers really matter?"

mri | Nov 8, 2007 6:43:11 AM | #

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Put Driveshaft on "The Next Great American Band"! They'd totally win in my book...

Lauren B | Nov 8, 2007 4:07:20 PM | #

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Put Driveshaft on "The Next Great American Band"! They'd totally win in my book...

Lauren B | Nov 8, 2007 4:07:22 PM | #

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Too bad Shannon's dead. I could totally see her on America's Next Top Model.

Siansonea | Nov 12, 2007 10:46:24 AM | #

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We have watched "Lost" from the very beginning. Will it really be back and when will that be. I have a hole in my heart and only "Lost" can fill that hole. I know that there is alot more to be told so let's get on with it.

hipoldlady | Nov 15, 2007 10:11:32 PM | #

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I propose making Eko, Juliette, and Charlie the new judges on American Idol, hosted by, you guessed it, the guy who played Billy on Melrose Place.

David and Alex | Nov 18, 2007 5:10:33 PM | #

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my husband wants to know when lost will be on

ernestine | Dec 11, 2007 4:17:27 PM | #

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