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Today's cuppa: Barry's Classic Blend tea

Fans of CBS' Tuesday-night hit "NCIS" know Pauley Perrette as Abby Sciuto, the sweet-natured scientist with the Goth fashion style who runs the crime lab for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service team led by Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon, on right with Perrette below).

But Twitter users also know her as @PauleyP, an enthusiastic and upbeat presence with almost 140,000 followers. Recently, CBS sponsored a panel discussion on how its stars use Twitter, and Perrette shared some of her tweeting philosophy and experience.

How she got onto Twitter: "I started off, I have a YouTube channel, and I kept getting impersonated. I wasn't on Facebook; I wasn't on Twitter; I wasn't on anything.  It's so funny, because the name of my band is Stop Making Friends. It's like a joke about the social network. I even had a whole entire YouTube video that had been seen thousands of times of me going, 'I am not on Twitter; I am not on Facebook,' because I kept getting impersonated all the time.

"Then, random, this seems like a non sequitur, but this women's and children's shelter that is very close to my heart in Sylmar was closing. We take people off downtown streets of L.A. and put them in this beautiful place. We have got about 100 women and 75 kids and about 90 elderly people there, and it was closing. I was freaking out. I talked to my pastor, I'm like, 'What do we do? What do we do?'

"And then my friend from church is like, 'You should start a Twitter account.' 'No, no, no, Stop Making Friends, that's not me, that's not me.' ... But we started Twitter, and through that, and then a couple other things that happened, we raised $2.5 million in 48 hours, saved the shelter.

"With that much more money, we moved a bunch more people into the shelter. Instead of the shelter closing, we were able to afford that."

On the way she feels about Twitter now: "I became a Tweetaholic, and I hold nothing back. I tweet for 'NCIS,' because I love my show. It's my favorite show in the world. I'm a total fan addict.

"I started this thing, like I do thematic tweeting wherever I go. Because my people are all around the world, I had everybody in every country in the world do the 'I love you' sign, from every country in the world, which was insane. It was crazy how it all came back.

"So, I went from being like, 'I'm never going to do this,' to 'OK, I'll do it for the shelter,' to literally I'm just, like, never not doing this" -- she mimes thumb-typing -- "all the time."

On turning the tables on her fans: "I rescue dogs. So, I'm like, 'Send me a picture of your dog.' Hundreds of thousands. I love any puppy or kitten. I am a softie -- but then I like to look around their houses, too. You look at what they are doing.

"But what has kind of turned the tables on that, is that we were are in their house every night. They are looking at us in their living rooms, so I get to see their living room, which is fun."

On feeling empowered through social media: "When you're in the public eye, and you're a celebrity, it is really, really dehumanizing, and it is also really frightening, because you have no control over anything.

"Social networking has given us the power back; it really has. I will be, like, 'Hey, those naked pictures of me on eBay are totally fake. I have never taken one.' Now I just say it. I just say it to everybody. Now. 'They are fakes. Yeah, they are fakes.' That just happened to me.

"And then whatever anything that you read, or somebody else writes, whatever, I immediately can put the correct information out there by myself. I don't have to call anybody. I don't have to do anything. That, as a celebrity, was really empowering to me, to be able to combat lies about yourself."

On getting co-star Michael Weatherly on Twitter, even though he isn't on Twitter: "I have a hashtag called #MichaelWeatherlyQuotes , so he doesn't have to be on Twitter. He's so funny. Everything that comes out of his mouth is so funny. So I do Michael Weatherly quotes, and then I just repeat everything he says all the time.

"But one of the Michael Weatherly quotes was, 'I think Twitter takes a very specific personality. So, we're just going to let Pauley do it for everybody.'"

(At right, Michael Weatherly)

On why she won't respond to fans on Twitter: "This sounds insane, but it's my life -- I have a stalker problem, like, actually, a big stalker problem, like five restraining orders against one nut.

"So, I'm with the LAPD Stalking Squad. I'm one of their greatest clients. So when I was like that, my detective, Martha, said, 'Absolutely not. You are not getting into that. That is not safe.' I do whatever they tell you. So, we set up rules, there, too, and one of mine is I don't re-tweet, and I don't respond.

"After a while, there are more people, like -- you know the ones, 20 times normal -- 'I love you. I'm going to keep writing. Respond, respond.'

"I'm very honest with my fans all the time. I say, 'Look, I have stalkers. I have a big security problem, and per the orders of the LAPD, I cannot re-tweet you, and I cannot respond directly to anything you're saying.'

"So I don't respond directly. Say a subject is brought up that interests me, or especially some tragedy, like with Norway or something -- which I find out about (on Twitter) before it is on the news, of course, I will start Tweeting about that. But not directly to a certain person.

"I will take what they are talking about and then talk about it myself. Plus, I tell fans all the time -- '10 billion of you guys are awesome, but there is one nut job out there that is going to ruin it for everybody; always is.'"

Today's cuppa: PG Tips tea

If you're a Roman Catholic, like me, you get used to thinking, "Well, it's a mystery."

All of the universe cannot be fully explained nor rationalized away -- as those poor, brave souls in Japan know with heartbreaking clarity -- and what is true of the universe as a whole is also true of that little corner of it called TV.

Screenwriter William Goldman, in talking about the movies, said, "Nobody knows nothing," and that goes for all of entertainment. Why some things succeed and others fail is as much about luck and happenstance and timing as it is about effort or talent.

Quality shows fail; cheesy shows are giant hits ("Jersey Shore" and all of the "Real Housewives" come to mind).

Why? Eh, it's a mystery.

I have loved plenty of shows that failed, from "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr." and "EZ Streets" to "The Good Guys," and several shows that have hung on by the skin of their teeth but never became big hits, like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (before you yell, it was never The WB's highest-rated show, or usually even the second highest-rated show, but it did well enough by The WB's modest standards to survive) to "The Wire" and "Friday Night Lights."

(I shall always have a warm little spot in my heart for former NBC chief Ben Silverman and DirecTV for striking the deal that let under-appreciated "FNL" have a full five-season run -- the final season begins on NBC Friday, April 15.)

Now, you may say, well, you're a TV critic, you have elevated and refined tastes, and you don't like shows that normal people like.

Hold it right, there, buckaroo. I've been on the case of megahit "NCIS" since the beginning, long before the mainstream press was finally forced to take notice -- went off in a blog post a few years ago about that -- and as any regular reader of this blog knows, I love the intellect-free but fun-filled "Wipeout," reality-competition megahit "Dancing With the Stars" and reality hits "Deadliest Catch" and "Dirty Jobs."

OK, and "IRT: Deadliest Roads." Nothing like TV you have to watch through your fingers, curled in a fetal position.

For what it's worth, here are a few theories I've cooked up as to why shows succeed or fail (bearing in mind, "nobody knows nothing") ...

Timing is everything. When you've had a hard day at work, do you want to come home, help the kids with their homework, argue with your teenage daughter about boys or college admission, maybe look over the budget with your spouse and then sit down and watch people do the very same thing on "Friday Night Lights"? Maybe not. Shows have to hit people at the right place and the right moment in their lives. On the other hand, if the show is funny enough, like "Modern Family," you just might.

Stars don't matter. Maybe they do in movies -- but I'd only make an argument for a few people even there -- but big-name actors don't get people to watch scripted TV, at least not past the pilot. If the viewers still don't like the show, they're gone. But stars are something to promote, so I know why the networks try.

Stars do matter. But usually only in reality TV, because viewers hope they'll learn something new or the star will do something ridiculous or entertaining. You tune in because you know something about the person, and therefore you care more than with a total unknown. But if the star is boring  -- which means he or she is probably a sensible person and not an unbalanced exhibitionist -- the audience is gone. (Which may go a long way to explaining why sane, sensible stars don't often do reality shows.)

Big-name producers matter ... to a point. Again, it's a selling point to have a name producer, but very few of them are hit machines, and the recognition doesn't often penetrate beyond a small slice of the TV audience. But if you've got a Mark Burnett or a J.J. Abrams, you've got wider recognition and a good track record, and that's about as good as it gets.

Swing viewers matter. There will always be a loyal constituency for every show -- the size varies wildly, and often it's not enough -- and there will be a certain number of people who wouldn't watch the show if you paid them. It's those people in the middle, not necessarily inclined to love a show nor to hate it, that are the difference among utter failure, cult hit and "NCIS." I believe a lot of those swing viewers came to "NCIS" through its frequent airings on USA, and that the show was accessible enough and consistent enough to satisfy them when they tried out the new episodes.

A copy is never as good as the original. Never. Ever. Development execs should have this tattooed on their arms, so they have to see it every day. A COPY IS NEVER AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL. And cloning is only for sheep. Unless you get the same producer, same writers, same crew, same actors, same premiere date and same societal conditions at the time of the premiere date, you can't clone a hit.

Amuse yourself first. If you're a producer or a development exec or a network exec, and a show tickles you or moves you, go with it. Unless you're deeply weird or clinically insane (and sometimes even if you're one or both), someone else will feel the same. How many of those someones there are, well...

It's a mystery.

Tonight's cuppa: hot chocolate

We all have shows we love that love us back every week, and we all have shows we've loved and lost. Below are pictures of one of each for me, "NCIS" and "Invasion." Feel free to share your loves and lost loves in the comments, and if you're in the mood, scroll down and vote in the poll ...