The Bachelor
Welcome to Panama City (which is in Panama, which makes sense). We get the cheesy airplane-flies-over-map graphic again, and then the women arrive at their...
We're on lovely Vieques Island in Puerto Rico. I've recapped several seasons of this mess by now, and I think I've figured out how the...
So the first few few minutes of The Bachelor tonight were cut off because of a governor's speech, and when we join the women, they've...
Ben Flanimal and the brain-dead bachelorettes are descending on San Francisco, which is the kind of thing the Centers for Disease Control should probably issue...
Sonoma, California, home of Ben Flajninkva, who is ecstatic because eighteen beautiful women are coming to vie for his affections. The women are currently in...
Meet Ben Flanjnjnik! He's from one of my favorite seasons of The Bachelor/ette -- i.e. any season I didn't watch -- and apparently he proposed...
The "previously on" clips that open the show -- about five hours' worth -- build the tension like the first seventy-five minutes of 127 Hours,...
Every season, as I recap this show, I manage to start to think that no one watches this show sincerely, that everyone's watching ironically, taking...
The Bachelor is still ruining New York as we open this week, with Brad packing up to go to South Africa. Jesus Christ, South Africa....
When Brad wakes up in New York City, there are only four women left on "The Bachelor." The rest he has tossed aside like day...
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