And so, dear friends, we are gathered here today on Side Order of Life to celebrate the union of this woman, Jenny, to this mysterious voice on a cell phone -- but not before secrets are revealed, identities are confused, heroes are unmasked, sweet monkey love is made and then regretted, a Vegas wedding is narrowly averted, and psychiatrists are revealed to be eeeeeevil. Can I borrow someone's hankie? I always cry at two-hour season finales.

Side Order of Life is making me somewhat paranoid: What does it say about my social life that I kind of wanted to join Vivy’s cool-kids-with-cancer support group? They seemed like a heck of a fun group of people. Nothing like chemo side-effects, nausea, hair-loss, single testicles and dying nerves to bring out the party in people, I guess.