Wow, William Petersen's CSI farewell tour has been a retrospective of Gil's women: first Sara Sidle and then Lady Heather. And now, the Miniature Killer is back. Will she finish off Sara once and for all?

America, I think we have a new CSI franchise. Yes, it's CSI: Department Store. If we learned anything this week -- other than that sometimes mother doesn't know best -- it's that department stores have forensic equipment to put police crime labs to shame.

At last, our long national nightmare is over. The people (mostly me) have spoken, and the decision met with a cheer from millions of supporters: Lady Heather returns to CSI.

Important safety note tonight from CSI: Don't mess with a Colombian drug lord. Don't even know anyone who knows a Colombian drug lord. Or is his daughter.

CSI has had its share of memorable killers, from blue-handed men to daddy's dollhouse girl. Tonight... well, let's just say I wished tonight's killer had stuck around a bit longer.

Love? Family? If CSI has taught us anything, it's that both lead to horrible, painful death.

Welcome back, "CSI" fans. How were your summers? Have a little fun? Maybe find some romance? None for me, sad to say, but... Oh geez, sorry, Warrick. I forgot we left you bleeding to death.

With only minor exceptions (Greg moving from lab rat to investigator; Sofia popping in for a bit; Ronnie Lake's cameo), the core CSI team has remained intact for the past eight seasons. Eight years. Even with annual contract disputes and William Petersen's desire to broaden his horizons, the core team remained the same. Continue reading »

Here's an exercise: Take a deep breath. Now let it out slowly, but with an air of defeat, like Charlie Brown after his kite's been treed.

There's a reason it's so difficult to recap shows like Two and a Half Men. While modern sitcoms have adopted a more realistic approach (including linear storylines, moments of drama and jokes that can take multiple seasons to pay off), Men and a few others are old-school vaudeville: setup, punchline, repeat. You see every payoff coming, and characters tend to be one-note stereotypes.