I'm starting to think several people on the Bones writing staff are arguing with their parents, spouses or significant others about why they don't want to have children. This is the second episode in a row where some punk kid did something horrific. What next -- a toddler terrorist? An infant serial killer? A genocidal zygote?

Bones does its part to save the airlines money by making its viewers swear off airplane food for life. Distract yourself from your flight-induced hunger pangs by wallowing in all the spiffy Bonesian banter, celebrating the return of "scary woman" Caroline Julian, and contemplating Sweets' competitive-karaoke chops.

Now this is why I watch Bones --  funny lines, great interactions between all the players, and some simply stellar Booth and Brennan moments. All this and another studly Booth to keep things interesting. If the case had been a little bit stronger, it would have been a perfect episode.

Bones knows what makes modern art really exciting -- heaps of blood, gore and sex! Well, that and beetles -- imagine how much more fun MoMA would be if buckets of flesh-eating beetles were dumped on artwork at random intervals. (Assuming, of course, that they're not doing that already.)

Bones threatens to offend all of the people, all of the time with a tale that involves gender reassignment surgery, megachurch religion, and yappy, trivia-obsessed Englishmen. But damned if they don't end up with something that was actually touching and heartfelt. Not bad, Bones!

Apparently the Bones writing staff just had a movie night where they rented the great workplace comedy Office Space, because this week's episode was all about workplace shenanigans. There were disgruntled employees, stoner dudes, a boss who totally wished he were Gary Cole, and the sort of office manager who would absolutely say something like "Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays." Heck, there was even an integral role for a stapler!

It's all about prodigal sons this week on Bones -- sons returning, sons fleeing, sons trying to make good, and sons being grumpy as hell. Plus there's a mysteriously purple pool, toilet-candy therapy, a missing head, and a peevish psychologist. Good times!

I'm a little pissed at Bones at the moment. Yeah, it was a good episode -- the show I remember, in fact --  but it had a few too many stupid Booth jokes, there was an unnecessary and convoluted vocabulary bit, the guest star was kind of random, and it got rid of a NotZach that I actually liked. But mostly I'm pissed because I'm still crying over that last scene. Wah!

This week, Bones shows us the possible consequences of fooling around on your significant (or not-so-significant) other: You could end up splashed on a reality show, you could end up buried in poop, or you could be witness to an uncomfortable meeting of your booty-call boy and your mental man. None of these options sounds pleasant.

We get a double dose of gory crime tonight on Bones, plus plenty of Brit mocking, Sweetsian counseling, Brennan oversharing, squints behaving badly, Booth posturing, relationship angst and more. And it was... ok, I guess. I'm thrilled Bones is back, but these back-to-back episodes really didn't float my boat (or butter my crumpet, as it were.)