Previously on 90210, I Moan went to war on Annie, Kelly came back just in time for Ryan to hit the road with his hussy, and Tracy and Harry's son Sean showed up.

Last time in 90210, Tracy Clark went looking for her illegitimate son, Adrianna hooked up with Navid, Mr. Mathews took a paid leave of absence because of his goings-on with Kimberly, and I Moan spied Annie sucking face with Ethan.

I apologize to all of you 90210 fans out there for the lateness of this recap. I set the DVR, but my roommates had other plans and I ended up with 60 minutes of election coverage. Here we are, though, all set with last night's episode "Secrets and Lies." (I originally typed "Seacrest and Lies," which would be a whole different show.)

Last time on 90210, I Moan got arrested because she took the wrap for Adrianna’s drugs, Principal Wilson hired a narc to 21 Jump Street the school, Tracy Clark wanted to find her and Principal Wilson’s illegitimate son and Adrianna OD on drugs.

Previously on 90210, Annie took Adrianna's part in the play but then hooked her up with an audition for a slasher flick. Kelly left on an excursion to find Dylan and left Silver in charge of her house. Papa Wilson threatened Adrianna with expulsion and she then got in a car with a guy who implied she'd be exchanging sexual favors for drugs.

When we last left our favorite 90210ers, Adriana got Carlotta'd right out of the musical by a Phantom called "smack," I Moan and her mom chose to be independent awesome women, and Annie chose not to surrender her V card to Ty because Wicked Awesome Adriana made it seem like he had just slept with her. Is it because Annie is eventually going to give it to Ethan, hopefully while wearing a black dress with gigantic white bows at the spring dance? I certainly hope so.

Last time on 90210, they teased us with Dylan as the father of Kelly's son Sammy, Annie chose Clark Ty, Ethan ran back to moan with I moan, Silver and Dixon were startin' a little sompn'-sompn', and Adrianna is a drugged-out actress.

Previously on 90210, the Wilsons moved to town. Annie found herself in a love triangle, Ryan Mathews wooed Kelly Taylor, I moan's dad did a litlte extracurricular moaning of his own and Silver's parents' divorce became public knowledge thanks to Naomi.

I would recap the last episode of 90210 for you, fair readers, but there was so much damn information crammed into it that my recap would be 5000 words. So instead, we join the Wilson family at breakfast. The kids are running out the door, the dad has a meeting and poor mom is left sitting there with her toast and bananas. Poor Aunt Becky.

I am beyond excited, readers. I spent Labor Day watching a marathon of original 90210 episodes in preparation. I think "Slumber Party" is my favorite. I also forgot that before the building was Sunnydale, it was West Beverly. Continue reading »