'America's Next Top Model' recap: Greek Tragedy

By Zap2it Partner

December 8, 2011 2:44 PM ET

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. This is...just...what is even HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? Calm down, Potes. But I can't! I'm talking to myself like a crazy person in a written piece that I get to edit! That's how much insanity is happening!

Okay, so blah blah blah, there's a Cover Girl photo and commercial, and it's for eye gunk, and Allison can't open her eyes in the sun, which is kind of a problem. But then she closes her eyes and everyone is like, "Oooh, now we can see even MORE of the gunk!" and it's totally fine. Angelea is awesome at everything, and Lisa is just there, like always, being frustratingly competent.

There is runway show insanity. Something to do with a pool and swimming and transforming from a mortal to goddess and flying through the air on the runway, and viral video hits. I don't know. The Michael Cinco dresses are all hideous, you will not be surprised to learn. It's like he lost his money at Mood just like Anya, and had to create them all out of muslin and found thumb tacks. Everyone is wearing masks that cover about three-quarters of their face, which honestly makes them look the best they have all season. There is serious wind, and a whole lot of Miss J. upskirt shorts. This foretold the doom that would soon come to pass.

» Read the full recap at Television Without Pity

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