'True Blood': The plot thickens

"True Blood" moves each of its numerous storylines along this week with everyone ending the episode in more peril than when it began. It's the Bon Temps way!

For once, we don't pick up an episode exactly where we left off. The world rejoices not being forced to see Lorena's crazy twisted neck again. Instead, we open on Sookie tending to Alcide's wounds after the fight at the were bar. While they are discussing Alcide's ex Debbie Pelt, Bill calls and denounces his life in Bon Temps and his relationship with Sookie all in one fell swoop. He has to be unnecessarily cruel for it to work, and poor Sookie is devastated. Good work by both Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, there. He specifically tells her not to search for him. Sookie, of course, can't take this at face value and is determined to find him so he can dump her to her face.

Sookie finds out Debbie is getting initiated into another pack and is addicted to V, and totally uses this information to get Alcide to take her to Debbie Pelt's engagement party. Manipulative! Once there we meet Debbie, and she looks like an extra from a Bon Jovi video, by which I mean perfect. And best of all: Debbie is marrying Cooter! With a name like that, he couldn't just disappear, now could he? Russell comes along to lead an impromptu meeting of the vampire S.S. and celebrate Debbie's induction into the pack. During the ceremony the entire bar starts shifting and Sookie has to run for her life.

Eric disappoints all Sookic (Erkie? Sooric?) fans by only daydreaming a very sexy scene between him and Sookie in her room in Jackson. It features him flying, which makes me giggle uncontrollably for some reason. He just looks so...zen, floating there. (Also: Anna Paquin's trainer? Call me.)

Lorena, the little psycho, calls Bill's insane sexual demonstration from the last episode "the best sex she's had in decades." Bill calls it what he needed to do to get Sookie out of his system, and then physically removes Lorena from his room. Bill is much, much more interesting as an angry vamp than his usual Southern gentleman self. Later with Russell, Bill reveals he worked for Sophie Anne for 35 years until he was "on sabbatical" in Bon Temps with Sookie. Interesting. Bill asks for something in return for his service to Russell: Lorena dead. He then reveals Sophie Anne's plot to have Eric sell V in their area so she can make some much-needed cash. Hilariously, the thing bringing down her finances is taxes the government imposed since they came out as vampires. Hee. What they need to do is get vampirism declared a religion. Then they're home free! Bill later makes his transformation into Russell's stooge complete by "procuring" a young girl at a strip club for their dinner.

Lafayette goes to Hotshot to work out a deal to get Calvin Norris to sell V. Calvin refuses the deal and his minions start to beat Lafayette up, until Eric shows up and not only saves Lafayette but gets the Hotshot folks to take the V deal. Eric: problem solver. While Eric is out saving Lafayette, Pam calls to let him know Fangtasia is being raided by the Magister and the V has been found. Eric then flies off through the car window. Ha. He storms into the bar to find the Magister torturing Pam and proclaims they are being framed. Instead of naming the Queen, however, they blame everything on the missing Bill.

Franklin Mott is compelling Tara to tell him everything she knows about Sookie and Bill, which isn't much. He also compels her to attempt to find out exactly where Sookie is in Jackson and then brutally bites her and ties her up in the bathroom. Later she becomes his hostage for a trip to Russell's house. Dear writers: can't Tara get a break? Her stories are tiring. There are enough characters to put her on the back burner for a little while, yes?

Sam goes outside looking for Tommy and finds his parents sleeping in their van in the Merlotte's parking lot. He finds Tommy later and offers to help him get away from their parents, but Tommy admits he is the only thing keeping their parents afloat. Sam offers to give them all a place to say until they get on their feet. This is going to blow right up in Sam's face, right? No other option, really.

Also in this episode: Arlene's pregnancy hormones are making her testy, Jessica gets a hostess job at Merlotte's, a retiring Sheriff Bud names Andy as his replacement and Jason blackmails Andy into making him a cop.


Random thoughts:

• I love it when Alexander Skarsgard speaks Swedish. More, please.
  
• Nazi werewolves = Maryann. Apparently Alan Ball has decided on one completely over the top storyline per season.
  
• Anyone know who does the "9 Crimes" cover at the end of the episode? Or is it just a different version from Damien Rice? I can't tell.
  

Favorite quotes:

• "Sometimes I think that boy's cheese done fell right off his cracker." - Sam's mom
  
• "I want to look like I can kick some serious a**. Which I can." - Sookie
• "I'm a vampire, not a f****** idiot." - Jessica
  

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Photo credit: HBO