'Bachelorette: The Men Tell All': The outtakes are funny, 'Bachelor Pad' looks awesome
It's time for "The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All" -- except there's no Craig M., no Justin and no Frank. So it's pretty boring. But the outtakes are good!There's a video montage with Chris and Ali making commentary, but ... eh. We were all there. Let's jump right into the good stuff.
Unseen Moments
Roberto almost puts Ali's eye out with a champagne cork. That should've been included, that was hysterical. Frank's dad gives a gibberish toast and the whole family is in on it. That's great too! Frank's dad FTW. Kasey and Ali get silly at the planetarium. Roberto and Ali have some wildlife adventures. Chris N. knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, apparently. (Yes, I realize that's "The Shadow" and not "The Phantom," but I stand by my joke.)
The Men
Jesse B., Hunter, Kyle, Tyler V., Craig R., John C., Derrick, Jason, Steve, Chris N., Kirk, Jonathan, Kasey and Ty are there. Frank is coming next week (though I've heard a rumor that he doesn't come to the "After the Final Rose" reunion, which has already been taped). Justin "Rated-R" and Craig M. are conspicuously absent.
Chris N's "The Phantom" t-shirt is awesome and he immediately lays into Justin. There is then a montage that heavily features Craig M. being a giant bully. The fact that he kept teasing Jonathan was bad enough, but you could tell there was something actually messed up going on underneath because of the way he wanted to fight Jesse B. Just to reiterate -- I don't like Craig M. He's actually the only person on "Bachelor Pad" I am not looking forward to seeing again.
John C. and Tyler V. call Jonathan out about not admitting he ratted Craig out to Ali and a little about the fact he did it at all. I'll admit, Jonathan is kind of a whiny turd, but Craig M. totally had it coming. He was being a bully and a bully needs to be smacked down. Thank god Jesse stood up to him. I hope Jesse hits him during "Bachelor Pad," though I am not optimistic.
I like the camaraderie between the men as a whole -- they seem much friendlier than the women usually are. I think it'd be fun to be some kind of "Bachelorette" consultant and get to live in the house with the dudes. I bet it's hysterical. Do you hear that, ABC? Email me!
Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Now we have the Frank montage. The guys are not very pleased with what he did. Craig R. wants to make sure people are not drawing parallels between Frank and Justin (which Ali did as well when we interviewed her last week). The guys are torn about whether Frank dragged it out or copped out. There is definitely a lot of variation in the animosity towards Frank. But really, it's throwaway segment because Frank will be at the "After the Final Rose" (supposedly).
Krazypants Kasey
We get all the insanity wrapped up into a nice little montage -- man, when you watch it that way, he looks even more outhouse-rat bonkers. He seems fairly normal when he talks to Chris Harrison, but I dunno ... it's pretty hard to walk that stuff back. Hmmm. Let's just say I would not be queuing up to date him.
"Hey, Mr. Taxidermy Man, stuff a deer for me"
Poor Kirk. He seems so sweet and I really think his family was the dealbreaker. They were just a liiiiittle different than the other guys' families and if all other things are mostly equal, I'd lop off the family I didn't think I fit in with too.
Kirk would make a good next "Bachelor," he's adorable and seems nice. He's Ali's choice too -- discounting the final two, so take that with a grain of salt. Personally, I'm Team Chris. I'm actually kinda rooting for him to lose so that he can be the next "Bachelor."
Rated-Schmuck
The guys pretty much rake Justin over the coals, but it's nothing new. They don't like him, he's a jerk, etc etc. Not saying he doesn't deserve it, but it's nothing earth-shattering. Apparently Kirk did hear him calling Jessica once in Iceland at 3 a.m. but at the time he didn't know what he was doing. Craig R. has some strong words for Justin -- "just an a**hole being an a**hole." Heh.
Kirk's new lady love
Jessie Sulidis is in the house -- if you'll remember, she's the one who called Ali with Justin's girlfriend. Which was weird and random. How did that happen? Luckily, Chris Harrison asks her! Apparently Jessica sent Jessie a message on a social networking site. Jessica contacted Jessie because of the OTHER girlfriend Kimberly. It's kind of convoluted. And the audience is booing actively, which makes me think suddenly we're watching "Jerry Springer." This is silly. We get it -- shady dude, big jerk, blahblahblah girlfriendcakes.
And to make this even more "Springer"-esque, Chris Harrison now takes comments from the audience. Lordy. This is ridiculous. Move along.
Hey look, it's Ali! Remember her?
So Ali is there. With some really big hair. She says a lot of nothing and really skirts the issue of whether she wishes in hindsight she would have taken Kirk to Tahiti instead of Frank. Hmmm. Why not just say yes?
Kasey then jumps up and sings. Oh goodness. He's a good sport but also? Krazypants. The other guys are cracking up and Ali loves it.
Outtakes
YES! Best part of the night. I will not describe them all because they won't be funny if I do, but if you didn't watch the show but have it on the DVR, fast-forward to the 1:35 mark and just watch the outtakes. They are really the only interesting part of the episode.
The Final Two
There are montages of both Roberto and Chris. I will not be recapping them. We were all there.
"Bachelor Pad"
But what I will recap is the "Bachelor Pad" sneak peek -- who else is ridiculously excited about this show? It's like "Big Brother" except with all these crazypants people we've seen on the "Bachelor"/"Bachelorette" shows. That is a recipe for trainwreck and I mean that in a good way.
So in the preview, the clips of all the crying people are just hysterical. The clips of all the hook-ups are outstanding. I just cannot wait for these shenanigans. I feel like my recaps for "Bachelor Pad" might be my best work since my pinch-hit recap of "Rock of Love Bus."
I'm not sure why all the girls were barfing at one point. That doesn't look fun. But everything else looks awesome.
"Bachelor Pad" premieres Aug. 8 at 8 p.m. on ABC. Your last "Bachelorette" recap of the season is coming at you next week -- who do you think Ali picks?
Follow Zap2it and Zap2it Andrea on Twitter and Zap2it on Facebook for the latest TV, movie and celebrity news.
Photo credit: ABC
Related pics
Zap2it Elite Sheet Must Reads from the Web's In-Crowd
Post a comment
Most talked about posts
Advertisement
Zap2it Twitter Talk
Recent posts
none.....
I always find the interview shows to be more revealing of the true personalities than the edited weekly shows. Kasey seemed pretty nice and crazy in a nice way and not so stalkerish. There were a couple of guys there who did not say a word and you wonder why they were invited back at all. I hope the next bachelor is someone we have not seen before. They need to wipe the slate clean as it is beginning to seem inbred.
The ratings indicate that the audience is more emotionally invested if it is someone they know. Don't think we will see an unknown ever again. I hope the next bachelor is Chris L., unless Ali picks him.
Andrea! "The guys are torn about whether Frank drug it out or copped out." DRUG IT OUT? Are you a journalist? Learn how to conjugate English!! You can do much better than that...
Internet rumors have it that Ali does not choose either one. If this is true, I may not bother to watch anymore.
I've been away from Zap2it for a while. Now, I'm amazed at what I see.
Do I have this right: You choose to recap Bachelorette, Real Housewives, Big Brother, and America's Got Talent, but NOT Mad Men, Rescue Me, or The Closer??? That's just sad!
tricotchick, you are right and that is embarrassing. I blame the scotch. : )
Mike, scripted shows (especially high quality ones) are hard to recap. And, with the exception of shows like "Lost" that have a lot of mythology/puzzles to muse on, they don't do well traffic-wise. Reality shows, where you can be snarky and where people are competing, do really well traffic-wise. That's all it is.
yeah i'll second that motion, chris L for bachelor might be good because hes so funny,,,but they would overdo it with the stuff about his mom.
i also agree that getting jessie on stage(shes with kirk? really?) and the questions after was so painful. The justin thing was really getting dragged out at that point. despite craig's wishes.
speaking of craig, he was a little on the obnoxious side last night. i think it was the lawyer in him wanting to have say on everything.
ali didnt say she wished she'd taken kirk to tahiti instead of frank-because-im figuring-she didnt want to give him any false hope.
here's something... a lot of people figured frank simply broke up with his girlfriend to come on the show...i kind of agree, because who gets back together that quickly? especially with tv camera's taping them? But that means his family was in on it to..so then i have to ask, why would he put his family in a position where they look like theyre putting one over, on ali?
and with all the little date's ali and frank had... did she never ask him.."when was your last relationship? why did it end?"
i cant beleive justin kept his word that he wouldnt be on 'the men tell all'. i figured they'd entice him one way or the other. he must really be pissed. or ashamed.
isnt an off-shoot show like 'bachlor pad' just going to encourage more people like justin and that country singer guy to be on the show...you know, people looking for the limelight, rather than 'love'?
yup that right "mike"... Zap2it has went to crap ...
I'm really peed off that Ali did the same thing to Chris that Frank did to her, but it always seems to happen that way. Maybe it makes the pain of rejection easier to bear. She was obviously in love with Frank and showed us her pain, and it was real. We'll see how long her relationship lasts with Roberto. 'Love', I'll believe it when it's proven. Chris handled the rejection better than she did anyway. I hope Chris is the next bachelor. He deserves a good partner and he shows a good, honest, sensitive man who deserves the best.