'The Hills': The return of Justin Bobby

Lo meets up with Brody's new trick, McKaela, who was in the same sorority as her in college. Lo tells her about her job at Smashbox and, before you know it, Lo's passing on McKonnections' resume to her boss with a good word for her Kappa sister. Lo asks about McGettingToKnowYou's impressions upon meeting the gang the other night. McKonfused asks about Brody and Kristin. Lo admits they have a history both as boyfriend-girlfriend and as hookup buddies. McKanYouReadBetweenTheLines asks if she should be worried. Lo warns her to be nice to Kristin because "it's kind of a tough crowd." Especially when you're not being paid to deal with their dramatics.

That night, Kristin and BS head "out of [their] element" to a bar that looks ... exactly like their element. They reiterate their resolution to mix it up by going to new places and meeting new people. On cue, a throng of cholo frat boys (if such a thing exists) talks up the ladies, nearly knocking over Kristin's glass. In case you couldn't tell already that Kristin is rethinking this out-of-the-box approach to flirting, she rolls her eyes at the unwashed masses.

Some other lowly creature who looks like a poor man's Lenny Venito tries to chat up Kristin by asking her if she's seen "Can't Hardly Wait." Because nothing's sexier than out-of-nowhere 12-year-old movie references. BS -- who, I think it's worth noting, is getting absolutely no love -- dismisses him summarily, leaving Kristin to complain about how he reeks of booze. In a bar? Imagine that! Both girls scan the crowd and all nearby doorways for an actual cute guy. No success. BS restates that they're on the manhunt. Kristin drolls that she's always on a manhunt.

The next day, Audrina and ShePratt go shopping for handbags. ShePratt asks for an update on Audrina's relationship. She says that Bob Gel-dof has been living with her while he's in between houses, and it's been "too much." Luckily, he's moving out soon. And tonight she's heading to The Viper Room to "check out bands" for her fake job, if ShePratt and Lo want to join. ShePratt says she's down, and they pick out horrible bags to complement their beach trips and spray-tan addictions.

That night, Lo and ShePratt don their "rocker clothes" to join Audrina as she checks out a truly terrible band whose name doesn't merit a mention. Take that, MTV propaganda machine! And! Lest you think the suffering is over, JB's band (also not worth mentioning by name) takes the stage. Lo and ShePratt can't believe that JB is actually in a band. Lo awesomely says, with not a touch of irony, "I always thought that was a joke?!" Heh. Audrina explains that JB is the drummer and that he's shy. "Like a Muppet!" chimes in Lo. Double heh. While ShePratt marvels some more that JB has something going on beyond vague drug-addled-ness, Audrina wonders if she should stay or go since seeing JB (who probably can't even see her) is "really uncomfortable." Oh shut it, chica, this is all you're good for.

Meanwhile, "shy" JB isn't too timid to take off his shirt whilst fondling his sticks. Dear sweet lord, this band is terrible. They all agree that JB's drumming is the only good thing about this Godforsaken mosh pit music, all the while making fun of the bleeding ear-inducing musical stylings of the band that shall not be named. The girls ask if Audrina is going to tell her Gel-ous guy about this unintended run-in with JB, then say it'll be worse if she doesn't cop to it.

The gig ends, and Audrina and JB make awkward conversation about hair cuts and sundries. Audrina explains that she was at The Viper Room for the opening act, but JB mockingly insists that she was here to see his band. The conversation ends about as abruptly as it started. Audrina and the girls walk off down the street while JB and his band of hooligans zip away in some sort of vintage truck-slash-van that shows just what d-bag hipsters they are. God, that guy sucks.

The next day, Audrina visits AnGELica Huston's new house, complimenting his guitar murals before asking to be guided to his various bedrooms. Cabr-HAIR-a's panting bulldog (not a euphemism) joins the couple as they finish up the tour. Ryan asks what Audrina's been doing while he's been moving in. She dances around the fact that she saw JB, hemming and hawing until he gets bored enough with her meandering non-story to cut it off. She asks when he's going on tour, and he tells her he's hitting the road for four shows (that's all?) in a couple of days. She says maybe it's a good thing that they'll have some time apart so she can "touch base" with friends she hasn't seen in a long time. Like JB, perhaps?

Photo credit: MTV