'Desperate Housewives': Who's your daddy?

On this week's "Desperate Housewives," it's all about family when Gaby and Angie return to their old stomping grounds to get Ana and Danny, Preston returns with a surprise, Susan learns Mike has daddy issues and Bree learns that she and her new employee have a lot more in common than work styles.

A Russian souvenir
Preston is back with from Europe and he brought a horrific moustache and... a buxom Russian blond! Everyone meet Irina! Preston has declared himself in love with the beautiful souvenir and Lynette looks pretty shocked!

Lynette, ever protective of her cubs, is trying to get Preston to tell her how he met Irina. Preston spotted her for the first time topless on a beach. How euro! Lynette is sure she wants something. When Tom tells her to be nice, Lynette tries to make nice. But when Irina begins to describe the things that Preston has bought for her and her desire to do some major American shopping, Lynette is convinced Irina is a gold digger.

In their bedroom, Lynette tells Tom about her "gold digger" theory when Preston walks in. He announces that he has proposed to Irina! Lynette's reaction: "Oh, honey, wake up." Hah! Preston, always the rebel, can handle Lynette not giving him her blessing, but then he asks for his great-grandmother's ring. Lynette refuses, but he says she doesn't have a say in the matter. It was promised to him by his nana. When Lynette tells him he's making a mistake, he says that maybe the mistake was coming home! Ouch.

Lynette hatches a plan to give Preston a cheap copy of her grandmother's ring. She's hoping that Irina will know the difference and show her true colors.

After giving Irina the ring, Preston tells Lynette how happy it made Irina, who went to get it sized. Lynette can't wait for the bomb to drop. When she returns, though, Irina tells the family that she can't accept the ring. She then makes a big gesture of giving it back, because it's too precious. Along the way, it becomes clear that she found out what the ring was worth and has now made herself look like she could care less about that. Looks like Lynette has some real competition in the scheming area!

Big Apple, big revelations
Ana is facing the harsh realities of modeling and then the harsher reality that Danny has crossed the country to find her. Danny lets her know that Gaby broke them up and then she decides that's why she's getting such crappy jobs.

Danny takes Ana to his grandmother's place. It's clear they haven't seen each other in years and she's happy to see him.

Back in Fairview, Angie informs Gaby that she's going to get Danny back. At first Gaby was sure Ana would send Danny packing once he got there, but Ana's outgoing voice message says otherwise. Specifically, it said that Gaby could "drop dead." Hah! Looks like Gaby and Angie will be flying to New York together.

On the plane, Gaby lets Angie know that she used to a model and then expects Angie to tell her something personal in return. With Angie's secrets, that isn't going to happen easily. When Angie refuses and says that Gaby wasn't sharing something personal, she was just bragging, it's clear Gaby will need to work harder to get the dish.

At her old agency (here comes the big cameo), Angie peeps Heidi Klum. Gaby offers to introduce them, but Heidi isn't having it. Turns out Gaby played a practical joke on her that cost her the Sports Illustrated cover back in the day. In fact, I believe Heidi's last line to Gaby was, "Screw you. Screw your friend. Screw Fairview." Hehe.

When they finally run into her friend who owns the agency, he has nothing good to say about Ana. He also tells them that Danny was overheard saying he had relatives in New York. Angie says she only has one: her mother.

When Angie arrives at her mother's place, they hug passionately then her mother gives her a good slap on the face. Wow. She then tells Angie that it's not fair that she has just gotten her grandson back and now he has to leave again. When Angie explains that Patrick Logan could use Danny to find her and that he's not safe, her mother tells her that after all these years Patrick doesn't care about her grandson. She then shows Angie the way out.

Later, Gaby runs into our second big cameo, Paulina Porizkova. She also doesn't take kindly to Gaby's greeting. When she asked her friend why Paulina was so mad, he tells her that she was horrible when she was modeling. She was mean to everyone and her career went down the toilet. That doesn't match Gaby's memory that she left modeling when she chose to marry Carlos, though. He tells her that he told her to marry Carlos, because he knew her career was over. He then tells her that she did, too, or else she wouldn't have married Carlos when she did.

The next day, Angie goes back to her mother's place and divulges a secret about Patrick. When Danny arrives, Angie is in tears and her mom tells Danny that he has to go. What could the secret be?

Meanwhile, Gaby tells Ana that she has some real talent, but she's throwing it away with her bad attitude. After finding out that her career ended for the same reason, she tells Ana to go back and be professional. She doesn't want her to miss out on the opportunity. Sweet, huh?

While waiting on the street later, one of the neighbors asks Gaby who Angie is and where she's from. Shifty!

On the plane ride home, Gaby tells Angie that she and Carlos overheard them talking about being undercover. She then tells Angie that she's there for her if she needs someone to confide in. That's when Angie finally spills the beans. We knew she was some kind of eco-terrorist and that a man named Patrick Logan was looking for her, but we didn't know that he is Danny's father!!! Eek.

Katherine and Mike's gender troubles
Susan surprised Mike by paying his business loan off and he doesn't take to it very well - a blow to his masculinity?

Afterward, Susan drops by Katherine's house unannounced and catches her and Robin in their bathrobes. Susan was trying to reach out to Katherine when Robin appears at the door and plants one right on Katherine's lips. Understandably, Susan needs a little clarification.  

Back at the house, Susan joyfully tells Mike that Katherine is a lesbian. He just thinks it's strange Katherine would go gay after being with him. Susan doesn't help things when she tells Mike his sexual style is very sensitive, almost feminine. Oy, nice one, Susan.

While Robin is out of town, Katherine decides to seek advice from Wisteria Lane's gays, Bob and Lee. She tells them she doesn't know if the sex was good or not. They tell her she's probably not gay then and, maybe, she'll learn more about her feelings if she cuts sex out.

When Robin returns, Katherine tells her that having sex with her was a mistake and she's not attracted to women. Robin tells her that the way they looked at each other when they kissed has convinced her that it was not a mistake. Katherine melts.

Meanwhile, Mike has been upset about the hit to his masculinity. When he tries to take Susan on the kitchen counter to reclaim it, it goes really badly. She's on a saltshaker and pushes him to the floor - badly. When Susan asks if Katherine going lesbian has really been bothering him that much, he confesses it was her paying off his loan that he's angry about. He then tells her that he grew up with a father who didn't provide for his family and says that he promised himself that he would never be like that. She understands and tells him she'll cancel her check.

Andrew's sibling rivalry
Sam continues to cause waves between Bree and Andrew. He is totally jealous of Bree's infatuation with Sam. Then when Bree decides to promote Sam to vice president (the same title Andrew holds, by the way), we can see that things are going to get worse.

Later when Bree announces Sam's promotion, Andrew drunkenly interrupts his acceptance speech. When Sam tries to escort him out, Andrew pushes him into the wall. Oh, boy. Sam definitely got sympathy points for asking for the rest of the day off. He's good.

Later, Bree stops by Sam's house, but he's not home. After letting herself in, she discovers a picture of a young boy and REX VAN DE KAMP!!! Sam then comes in and she asks him why he has a picture of Rex. Sam admits Rex was his father!!! Oh. My. God.

Back at Bree's home, Sam waits outside to explain himself. Orson tells her that she should speak to him. We also learn that Sam was born before she married Rex, so he didn't cheat on her. After Orson finally convinces her, she goes outside to speak to Sam. He tells her that he was the result of a one-night-stand and his mother wouldn't let Rex support them. Over the years, Rex visited him a few times and he even rode his bike past Bree's house over the years. He searched Bree out after his mother passed away six months ago. Bree softens up and invites Sam inside.

Oy, I don't know whether to believe Sam or not. Do you? Even if he's telling the truth, he could still be crazy, right?

Some thoughts:

• Loved when Mike heard Susan wrong and thought she said Katherine was a leprechaun. That's going to be my new "discreet" word for lesbian.

• "The house bulimia built." - How Gaby refers to her old modeling agency!

• How are we supposed to believe that Gaby was a high fashion model when she's like a foot shorter than Heidi Klum?
• The storylines started picking up last episode, but this episode? Wow.
  

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Photo credit: ABC