'American Idol': Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry find 'Cult of Personality,' Tasha Layton in LA

"American Idol" heads to Los Angeles with judges Avril Lavigne and Katy Perry.

I missed the opening three minutes due to a TV problem, but since the auditions are in Los Angeles, let's just assume there were thousands of screaming fans and the Hollywood sign. Am I close?

Up first we have Neil Goldstein with "Rock n Roll Dreams Come True." He's a big nervous weird guy with some very unfortunate hair. Why do you let this guy go through to the judges? Please make it stop. His voice has a very sheep-bleating quality. When he's told he's no good, Neil refuses to leave. This has to be a producer-directed tantrum, right? Or is he really that whiny and deluded?

Jim Ranger is our first good audition with "Drive," an original song. It's catchy, I like it! He's got a very old-school rock/country vibe. Avril shoots down his dreams with a "it's hard out thre on the road for a father" speech and then she passes. Wow. Bold, Robin Sparkles. But the other judges put him through.

Bad Montage. Jayson Wilson badly Adam-Lamberts the song "All By Myself," Asian Jesse Chang sings "Kung Fu Fighting" (oh yes, he does) and Martin Perez stomps a lot.

Ryan Seacrest then says, "After LA has taken so many blows, it's up to-- " and I don't even hear the rest because I'm laughing too hard.

Turns out he was talking about martial arts enthusiast Damien Lefavor with "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin.'" Um, I'll take Goose and Maverick please. NEXT!  Lefavor says "I choked so badly" after his audition. Well, after all those blows...

Why yes, I am 13 years old. Why do you ask?

Kids montage. Oh, the cuteness! It leads into mom Mary Powers, who has an 8 year-old daughter. She sings "Love is a Battlefield" and I love her. LOVE HER. She's what Amanda Overmyer wishes she was. Avril loves her tone and Simon loves her voice, but says to ditch the cliche rocker chick look. She's through unanimously. The daughter gets to meet Simon and is all excited. He kisses her on the head. Aww.

AJ Mendoza is an Adam Lambert fan who sings "Cult of Personality" and is banking on the advice he got from Lambert on his demo. It's... not my cup of tea. His enunciation is all wrong, like his jaw is wired shut or something. Simon then likens it to him having Novocaine from the dentist. But other than that, I still didn't love his voice. The tone was not pleasing. The judges send him along, Avril with an "absolutely not!" Man, she's got her balls all hangin' out. I like it. The other guest judges have been so timid.

Does anybody think "Past Life" looks good? I feel like it looks ridiculous. And I am a huge fan of star RIchard Schiff.

Katy Perry joins for the second day and she looks effing smoking hot. I hate her "I Kissed a Girl" song because it's like the anthem of daddy-issue, drunk 19 year-old coeds who make out with each other for attention from boys, but Katy Perry seems pretty cool.

Up first is Austin Fullmer in a very shiny shirt who sings "Surrender" with a bad British accent and some strange jumping jack things. It's terrifying. Kara, Randy and Katy compare him to a cheap Mick Jagger or Iggy Pop. 

Rejection Montage. Tears, tears, tears, tears, CRYING GIRL! SANJAYA'S CRYING GIRL! That's hysterical. I can't believe we didn't get to see her audition.

Andrew Garcia is up next. He's the guy people were feverishly searching for last week, which is weird since we hadn't even seen him yet. He and his dad have a very emotional relationship because his parents used to be involved in gangs and they want better for their son. Aw, "Cat's Cradle" meets "West Side Story." Or something. Garcia sings "Sunday Morning" and he's very good. THe judges love him and he's through unanimously.

Tasha Layton is the first female Golden Ticket receiver of the day. She sings "Baby baby baby" and it's great. She has a very contemporary voice. Simon guarantees that if she makes Top 12, there will be an "Oh Happy Day" medley because Tasha is a minister. That'd be awesome, remember that form "Sister Act 2?" Great song. She's through unanimously.

Serial killer time. First we had Andrew Fenlon, then we had Jarrod Norrell and now we have Jason Greene with "I Touch Myself." Jason can't sing at all, he's just being a big dirty queen and it's really alarming. He gets shown the door, after making Katy feel like she needs to shower with some steel wool.

Katy-Kara-Kat-Fight montage. Katy and Kara are apparently getting a little snippy at each other, but not in a malicious way. They appear to just not agree with each other all the time and "Idol" is trying to make more out of it. I didn't get an actual fight vibe.

Last of the day is, the Justin Guarini-lookalike Chris Golightly. HE bounced all around the foster care system as a kid, which sucks a lot. Honest to god, I had to close my eyes for this audition to be objective becuase the curly Justin hair REALLY BUGS ME and I can't explain why. Anyway, Chris's "Stand by Me" is enjoyable, but not blow-me-out-of-the-water good. SImon and Katy give him yes votes with little ys, Kara and Randy give him big yesses. But good for him either way.

We find out 22 Los Angelites got Golden Tickets. So what are we up to now? 130 or so?

Tomorrow night: Dallas, Joe Jonas and Neil Patrick Harris! Woo hoo!

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Photo credit: FOX