'24' Premiere: Jack is back to save the Big Apple

There is much to get to on the season premiere of "24" and there's not a moment to waste. Follow along, but try not to get too much of the Big Applesauce all over you.

President Omar Hassan of the great fictitious Islamic Republic of Kamistan is at the United Nations in an effort to rid his country of nuclear weapons once and for all. That would be a great victory for President Allison Taylor, as she's leading the charge for the US to get the agreement signed once and for all. If it happens, it may even lead to a lasting peace in the part of the world Kamistan is located. Naturally, there can be no peace with a gang of bad guys running around the streets of Manhattan, killing everyone with knowledge of the impending attacks. One of them, Victor Aruz, manages not to die on his way to inform the one man he can trust to get the job done. That man...

...is currently engaged in finding his granddaughter appropriate cartoons for her to watch. Granddad Jack Bauer is relishing his new role in his swanky pad. He even tells an arriving Kim and hubby that he's decided to leave the 212 for good and return to Los Angeles tonight. Before the packing can commence in earnest, Victor tracks Jack down, forcing him to get involved. Lucky for him, Chloe is still with CTU (and at their NY branch, no less.) The new gang protecting the world are quite the crew: Brian Hastings is the by-the-book guy in charge with Cole "Freddie Prinze Jr." Ortiz as the Jack Bauer-in-waiting. He's engaged to the sizzling hot Dana Walsh, who acts as middle management (and a thorn in Chloe's side), who is getting looks from techie Arlo Glass. With CTU protection and immunity in place, Cole goes by chopper to pick up Jack and Victor.

Meanwhile, journalist Meredith Reed seems to be quite cozy with Hassan, much to his brother Farhad's chagrin. As he keeps a keen eye on her, Jack overcomes bad guys galore on his way to the chopper landing site... including a fire axe to the chest for one of the baddies. They make it to the chopper, where Cole begins his bromance crush on Jack just seconds before a rocket destroys it and kills three, including Victor, but not before he reveals the mole is close to Hassan. Judging the frigid response from his wife Dalia, I'm guessing it's not her. President Taylor's new Chief of Staff Rob Weiss learns of the impending threat on Hassan and promptly tells her, but she decides again informing her counterpart. Rob is seemingly livid, but that's why now Secretary of State Ethan Kanin personally selected him as the replacement.

As we begin hour two, the public begins catching wind that all might not be kosher at the UN. Cole is personally upset that technology on the chopper didn't stop the rocket attack. More on that in a bit. Jack resists the effort to have him come to CTU for the debrief, but finally relents. In the meantime, Mr. Hastings fills-in the entire CTU crew on what's ahead. Chloe wisely suspects everything is being resolved a bit too quickly. She does manage to identify Meredith as the suspect, who is quickly rounded-up before she gets the chance to get it on with Hassan. He returns to his suite, where Dalia is immediately suspicious of the reporter's intentions. Farhad is also suspicious, even going as far as to getting his brother to admit to the affair, but also to not spill to the public... lest it ruin ANY chance he has to hold onto power. Of course, Farhad calls the bad guy, who asks him to stall for one more hour.

As Jack arrives to CTU, he overhears Cole doing the right thing by asking for a formal inquiry into why the chopper was blown up, but Brian insists he drop the matter for now. It seems to me in this scene that Jack is looking into a metaphorical mirror to what he probably used to be like. Chloe tells him that Meredith might not be the one because the same bad guy was seen entering and leaving her apartment just a short time before. Jack finds all this interesting, but absolutely wants NO part of this. None whatsoever. He even has Kim given access to the secret CTU entrance so he can leave faster. Surprisingly, Kim is on Chloe's side in having him stay. We even get the obligatory shot of little Teri blissfully unaware that she may never see her grandpappy again. Where he was genuinely happy and smiling not more than an hour before, now he's damn near in tears when he agrees to stay for the good of the country. When daddy Stephen tells little Teri, she becomes quite sad herself.

Brian begins the interrogation of Meredith, while Jack and Chloe try to get a lead on the mystery bad guy. Using drones, they're able to get a fix on a cab medallion, which leads them to his last known location. Meanwhile, Meredith might not be bad, but she's clearly withholding about the affair. This is all the confirmation Jack needs to go after the mystery baddie... except he gets caught stealing from the armory room. He also tries to insist to Brian about launching the inquiry that Cole couldn't, also adding President Taylor's name into the mix. He relents, even letting Jack have Chloe help him.

There's also a side drama going on with Dana getting calls from a Kevin Wade, who is calling her "Jenny Scott." Don't know what's to become of this Rock Springs drama... but stay tuned.

We end with our bad guy (now named Mike) inviting himself into a house in suburbia. Apparently, he just wants to trade shifts with his partner Jim. Except Jim has a very important parent-teacher conference he can't get out of. Clearly this isn't what Mike wants, so he proceeds to pull a gun on Jim and his wife, Maggie, then has him tape his wife's mouth shut. When Jim refuses to call the Captain, Maggie gets a bullet in the leg. Think Jim will call now to switch shifts?

So what did you think of the first two hours?