'Desperate Housewives': The Moose is loose

Tonight on "Desperate Housewives," Kathy Najimy guest-stars as a police detective and Nick and Julie's affair comes out.

Nick & Julie & Tom & Lynette
Lynette overhears Julie and Nick fighting, after we are treated to a quick flashback-montage of Julie and Nick's affair. Julie confesses to Lynette that she was having an affair with him and Lynette is WAY upset that she knows because now she has to tell Susan. Julie has threatened to tell Angie so that he'll leave her alone but Nick doesn't care because he "loves her." Lynette says she'll handle it and won't tell Susan. This should end well.

Lynette talks to Nick and he puts it all off on Julie, saying she's jerking him around. When Lynette doesn't care and tells him to leave Julie alone, he threatens Lynette. If anybody finds out, she'll be sorry. Lynette goes home to Tom and says she might know who strangled Julie.

Tom and Lynette confront Julie about it, telling her they are going to go to the police, even though Julie insists it wasn't Nick. The Scavos head to the police and ask the cops if they questioned Nick Bolen, spilling about the affair.

Gabby & Juanita
Gabby is still home-schooling Juanita but when Carlos hires a housekeeper (Ivana), she ends up being a good tutor. Of course, Gabby pretends with Carlos that SHE'S the one who taught Juanita, not the housekeeper. Oh Gabby. You scamp.

When Carlos hires a new housekeeper (because the house wasn't getting clean when Ivana was teaching Juanita math), Gabby tracks Ivana down and ends up doing her cleaning duties while Ivana teaches Juanita. Heh.

Carlos catches Gabby in her wily scheme and Gabby has to confess that she's a lousy teacher because school isn't her thing, which just makes Juanita and her fight. Carlos agrees to figure something else out.

Susan & Mike
Susan goes to the cops to get them to investigate Katherine as Julie's attacker. The male cops won't listen to her, but delightful Kathy Najimy is there to save the day. Except she only wants to help Susan because she's Denise, a fat girl from high school who hates Susan because Susan gave her the nickname "The Moose" and stole her boyfriend. Denise ends up befriending Katherine, probably out of mutual hatred for Susan.

So Susan goes back to the male cops and gets caught by Denise. Denise reveals to Susan that she actually DOES do her job and that Katherine's phone records clear her of strangling Julie. Denise then arrests Susan for shooting Katherine.

Orson & Bree
They go to dinner at the Bolens and it's a little "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"-y. The Bolens want Bree to hire Angie as a cook for her catering company. Bree turns them down, but of course immediately gets a job for a 500-person party where all the guests are from the Bronx. What a coinky-dink.

So Bree spins the tale of a burn-victim friend of hers who doesn't go to restaurants as a way to get Angie's family recipes. Angie catches her and storms out with the recipes. Bree apologizes to Angie and asks her if she'd work in her kitchen because she can't fix the Italian food without her. Angie says Bree has to be honest first about why she doesn't like her. Bree says Angie makes her uncomfortable because of her candor. Angie assures her that she keeps plenty to herself and they decide to work together.

On the marriage front, Orson buys Bree a new broach to replace the one she gave Susan but Bree blows up at him and demands a divorce. Again.

The Bolens
As Angie goes through her recipes, she tells Nick the cops called about him and she says she knows about the affair. She also says neither of them can leave, so they'll just have to get past it. Angie knows Nick wouldn't attack Julie, so she gave him an alibi for that night. She the punches him in the nose. Haha.

Thoughts & Tidbits

• So it's not looking like it's either Katherine or Nick who attacked Julie. Drat. So who is it? Are they bringing back creepy Zach?
  
  
• Angie: You're a two-faced, condescending bitch who will never make a nickel off my dead grandma's braciole.