'One Tree Hill': Nathan loses endorsements

Things just keep getting worse and worse for Nathan on "One Tree Hill" this week. The worst part? His own father seems to be trying the hardest to bring him down.

Haley confronts Nathan about Renee's number coming up on his cell phone, and he says the only reason he would have been calling or texting her would be to tell her to stop contacting him because he is happily married. Apparently this happens to him all the time. Um, okay. Sure. It may be true, but BOY does it sound like a lame excuse, Nate.

Nathan then finds out his endorsements are being pulled because of the scandal. An angry Haley suggests they just pay Renee off and have her tell the press she made the whole story up, but Nathan refuses. Haley goes behind his back and calls Renee with the deal, but she'll only do it if the price is raised to $250,000. Haley tells Nathan she's going to pay, but decides not to at the last minute. Which is good, because Renee is planning on going on Dan's show and telling the entire story on national television anyway.

Good Lord, PATERNITY TEST. Won't someone at least mention it? Please? For my sanity? Sigh.

Mouth does his part for Nathan this week by tricking his boss into letting him back on the air and then going off script. He editorializes about how the press continuing to report on Nathan's scandal despite no new evidence or proof of guilt is wrong because it only makes Nathan look guilty, and he should be given the benefit of the doubt until there is solid proof. A bit of semi-political commentary on OTH about the state of journalism? Who would have thunk it! Also: good job, Mouth.

Alex and Julian are working hard on their script, and Brooke is still annoyingly jealous and suspicious. Well, I thought it was annoying until it became clear that Alex is still very much interested in getting into Julian's pants. I think she might be certifiable, really. What is the mental disorder where you don't care how your actions affect others? Narcissistic personality disorder? Total bitch disorder? Brooke finds out about Alex stripping down naked for Julian and fires her from the modeling campaign.

CHASE! comes into Clothes Over Bro's, and then he takes his shirt off and I black out and miss the next three scenes. Sorry about that, folks. Hot, hot CHASE! is doing fit modeling for Brooke's new men's line, and as a bonus he gets to help Brooke make Julian jealous. Okay, CHASE! is hot and all, but I don't think Stephen Colletti has the right measurements to be a fit model. I'm just saying.

Millie is now officially a model and no longer an assistant. With this new modeling gig comes scrutiny and the requirement of wearing a bathing suit, and Millie is having a hard time dealing with the pressure. She's having such a hard time that I do believe she's about to resort to taking diet pills. Um, Millie? You were hired because you AREN'T a stick. Diet pills sort of defeat the purpose, no? I was wrong when I said she was becoming Donna Martin. Clearly, she's turning into Kelly Taylor.

This week, we finally find out why a powerful sports agent lives in Tree Hill! It seems our newest, hottest Tree Hill resident Clay was pretty much ordered to spend some time in the beach town after "going off the rails, emotionally." Tee hee. That's a funny phrase. I am interested to find out what his deep, dark secret might be, but worried the show will drag out the reveal too long and make it anticlimactic. I don't think my worries will come to fruition, however, as he almost immediately starts talking to a mysterious blond at the bar ... but is she really there? I'm getting an "I see dead people" vibe from her, big time.


Random thoughts:

• My favorite text of all time: "Melvin. Got my drink on with Alex. If you're done being a tool, you should come rock out with your [you fill in the rest of the famous phrase]." HA!
  
• I didn't think the Clay/Quinn thing felt forced until tonight. I mean, he was wearing a suit while walking on the beach. The only reason he would be doing so would be to "conveniently" run into Quinn. Who was wearing a bathing suit, like a normal person. (Except when she left the beach and refused to put on pants, which is not normal.)
  
• Brooke's new assistant's name is Calliope? Does she have a rule to only hire people with old fashioned, complicated names?
• OTH certainly knows their audience. Three different men were shirtless this episode! I think I'm going to have to start keeping a shirtless man count in these recaps, out of sheer curiousity. And gratitude.
  

Favorite quotes:

• "Administrative work is for fatties, Millicent. And you are not a fattie. You're a plus size model!" - Alex, offending 50% of the female population of America in the blink of an eye
  
• "Sorry to disappoint, but your tall, dark and handsome is getting naked with my short, hot and bossy." - Julian, to Mia
• "I'm Marvin McFadden and this is sports ... or, at least, it used to be." - Mouth
  

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