'One Tree Hill': Celebrities, fashion and scandal, oh my!

Everyone loves a fashion show and a celebrity scandal, and "One Tree Hill" delivered on both tonight in an entertaining episode that combined the two. They're two great tastes that taste great together!

Nathan starts the episode brooding on a dock, wondering what he has done in his sorry life to deserve being blackmailed by a skanky groupie. Just talk to Letterman, dude, if you think your life is bad. What Nathan isn't doing, apparently, is practicing seeing as he's missed four workouts in a row. The return of self-destructive Nathan is not a welcome one, dear readers. Let's just hope he doesn't grow out his hair like he did last time he got down on himself. That hairstyle was just wrong. Clay tries to reassure him that his contract talks are coming along, but Clay seems to be doing a lot of talking and not a lot of negotiating, as far as I can see.

To make matters worse, the story officially breaks in the "news," a.k.a. the tabloids. Jamie's classmates apparently are regular Star readers, because they mercilessly tease him at school over his dad's exploits. Aw. Nathan tries to reassure Jamie, but as he points out, how does one explain greedy opportunism to a second grader? Nathan's story breaking in the tabloids is also having bad repercussions for Mouth, since he had a chance to get the story and passed in order to help out his friend. Things get even worse when he refuses to report the story live on the air and basically walks off the set.

Things completely come to a head after the fashion show when Ms. Big Teeth the Skanky Groupie approaches Haley and tells her Nathan doesn't love Haley (which he told the groupie while they were having sex, which sounds totally romantic for her) and that he had her do all kinds of wild things in bed that Haley supposedly won't do. Oh, Big Teeth McSkanksalot. At least try to be original with your insults. Of course, Haley hauls off and smacks the groupie right across her face and there are plenty of paparazzi waiting to capture the entire exchange, just how Big Teeth Skank Face planned it, I'm sure. Still, it was pretty fun to see Haley smack her, wasn't it?

Remember last week when Quinn's husband David showed up at Tric and said they needed to talk? Well, apparently what he meant is that they needed to talk off screen, so Quinn could relay the conversation second-hand to Haley while grocery shopping. Because hearing someone talk about a conversation afterward is always more interesting than hearing the actual conversation. The hell, show? If they weren't going to show the talk, they could have done it on the phone. I'm just saying. The gist is, David wants Quinn to come home, Quinn needs more time, and the audience struggles to care because we barely know either of those characters. Sigh. Later, David goes to Haley and sincerely begs her to tell Quinn that he misses her, loves her, and wants her back. We better learn that he did something terrible, because all this is accomplishing is making me sort of hate Quinn. They finally sit down to hash it out in an actual onscreen talk and Quinn tells him it's over because she's changed and he hasn't, and she doesn't want him to have to change for her. Again, this would be more compelling if we had a chance to care about either of these characters first. Quinn has a lot of potential as a new character, but this is a strange story choice for her introduction to the show. Things come to a breaking point when a drunk David confronts Quinn and gets rough with her, causing Clay to punch him straight in the face. A distraught Quinn ends up going home with Clay to make her break from David official.

Brooke is busy throwing a fashion show for her new line, a fashion show which stars Alex and features Victoria as the event coordinator. Nothing will go wrong with those two involved! Victoria and Alex take an immediate dislike to each other, as you would expect from two catty women like them. When Alex drugs the #1 model to get back at her for being mean to Millie, Millie herself is forced to step in and model the signature look. Um, okay. Are we getting a "Donna Martin becomes a model" storyline for Millie? She ends up not fitting into the signature look so Brooke changes to entire idea to make her show a statement for clothes for "real women." I will say that I love Millie's "Zero is not a size" shirt, and she looked pretty darn hot on the runway. (No offense to anyone out there who is actually a zero, y'all are super hot too. Girl power!)

Also in this episode: CHASE!, the evil British record executive sticks up for Haley earning her some respect, and Julian and Alex decide to work together on her first screenplay. That should go well.


Random thoughts:

• Loved that the opening song was Rogue Wave's "Love's Lost Guarantee." Great tune.
• Brooke's weird brown tie-dyed shirt looks like something I wore in high school. You guys, I was in high school a long, long time ago. Is grunge fashion back? Do I need to break out my flannels and Doc Martens?
  
• Is it just me, or was the dress Brooke wore to the fashion show all kinds of wrong? It was like, mummy chic or something. Bizarre.
• Adored Haley's fashion show hair. So much better than the wavy mess she's been sporting so far this year.

Favorite quotes:

• "What's a love child?" - Jamie, upon seeing his dad in the tabloids
  
• "Ah, so you're the former actress we're overpaying." - Victoria, to Alex
• "Oh, right, Millie told me all about you. How you're this evil bitch who used to be really important here, but now you're just an evil bitch!" - Alex, in response
• "I didn't say that. In those words." - Millie, to Victoria
• "I am about to be judged by fashion critics who had to fly to North Carolina, and love to witness failure." - Brooke (props to the show for pointing out that it's weird to have a fashion show in NC!)
• "Get the hell out of my way, slut." - Haley, to Nathan's skanky groupie
  

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