'More to Love': Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking

Tonight on "More to Love," Mandy the Needy Girl is sent back to the continental U.S.

We join the gang in Hawaii. Amookalahkaheekee, c'mon ya wanna lei me? Thanks Wayne Campbell. They head to a luau and Tali and Malissa look great. Mandy is wearing an unfortunate dress. He tells the girls this is their last group date and Mandy goes "WOOO!" and lifts up her arms in triumph. Heh heh.

Malissa's Date
Luke talking-heads that he and Malissa make a great physical match, but he needs to know if she's "in it for love or just in it to win it." Um, what? What would she WIN? A chance to be the Fatchelorette? I doubt this show will continue.

They go to a Sea World-like place, which is an AWESOME date. Penguins! Dolphins! Sea lions! They get to swim with the dolphins, I'm so jealous! Afterwards, they talk about putting themselves out there and being together in real life. Malissa says the crazy dates are awesome, but she would be happy just to hang out with Luke alone and do nothing. They smooch.

After the Sea World portion of the date, they have a nice dinner. Malissa confesses Luke is the first really big guy she's dated and he seems a little worried that he's not the type she usually dates. She tells him not to worry about it and calls him out on sounding insecure. You go, girl.

Luke then springs it on Malissa that dessert is back at his place. Woo woo. They pretty much skip dessert and head right for the bedroom. Is a "first time for every thing" joke totally mean? Probably. They talk about their feelings more but then get with the kissing and rubbing and moaning. Geez.

Tali's Date
They get to go sailing on a beautiful boat. Turns out Tali was in the Israeli Navy. Cool. Except then she says the ocean is scary for her and water is her biggest fear. Ummm... what? "I'm just not that crazy about boats." "Jesus Christ, Kaffee you're in the Navy for crying out loud." "Nobody likes her very much." A Few Good Men, everyone.

Luke springs it on her that he was going to take her snorkeling today and she totally freaks, but eventually gets in the water with Luke. She loves the sensitivity with which he talks her into the water. He says, "Don't be sorry for being so cute." Awww.

Afterwards, the says she was courageous because courage is being scared but doing it anyway. That was a nice thing to say! They're both still worried about how they are from different backgrounds.

That night they go to dinner and Tali looks just radiant. She's so pretty! She's worried that Luke is falling for someone else and he reassures her that he's falling for her and they kiss. He DOESN'T say that he's NOT falling for someone else, though. Dun dun dun. He asks her if she wants to go up to the room and "snuggle." He says, "I want to show you my room." And that's not all! Tali says, "I didn't bring my jammies." She's the cutest, y'all.

Upstairs they pop some champagne and Tali talking-heads that she's falling in love with him.  They toast to something about love, I can't catch it even when I crank the volume. Then it's bath time! They get in the bathtub in their swimming suits and Luke rubs her feet. Ew. Feet.

Mandy's Date
Luke takes Mandy four-wheeling. FUN! I still think Sea World is my favorite, though. After tearing around in the dirt for awhile, they eat lunch and dish. It's totally unromantic and very Friend Zone. I think Mandy's outta here.

That night they have a beautiful seaside dinner but I still just don't see it with these two. Also, they both seem to be a little drunk. They eventually lay down on a... boat on a bed? Does Mandy not get the private room treatment? Harsh. She talking-heads that she loves him and that she's not scared of love, she's scared of rejection. That's a hard way to go through life.

The date ends with them making out on the boat-bed. Is that seriously where he's staying? OH GOD. Then Mandy says in an interview, "Luke is becoming my lover ... I am dead-sure this is the man I'm supposed to marry. I'm in LOVE with him." She is CRAZY.

I also think this is really setting up Mandy for elimination.

Ring Ceremony
Luke gives rings to Tali first and then Malissa. No surprises there. Mandy cries and seems really pissed at Luke. She won't even look at him and just mumbles things. Is she drunk? Anyway, toodle-oo Mandy!

So the big finale is next week? Who will win it all? Since I'm rooting for Tali, it will probably be Malissa because I never get my way on these shows. The two girls meet Luke's family and one gets a proposal. Also, is his father some religious bigot because Tali is Jewish? Booooo, Luke's dad.