'Bones': Booth, Brennan, Cyndi Lauper, and a long-awaited "I love you"

Tonight's season premiere of "Bones" on FOX really gave Booth and Brennan fans something to squee about. Could it be that they're sucking up to us after that ridiculous season finale? If so, I'll happily take it.

Fair readers, I'm going to begin with a warning: I may or may not turn into a gushing thirteen-year-old fangirl in the course of this recap. Perhaps I resemble a jaded recapper, but I'm secretly a romantic at heart. Shhhh. I'll try my best to keep it in check for the sake of those of you who are made of stone.

The Case:

Let's keep it brief, since the case was hardly the point of this episode. Angela's psychic, played by the fabulous Cyndi Lauper, divines that there are bodies buried under a fountain. She's right - the bodies were dumped down a construction shaft ten years ago during a renovation. Turns out they're all members of a cult led by a man who took their money in exchange for a promised life in an underwater paradise.

Cyndi's sister is one of the victims, but Cyndi was kicked out of the cult for seeing an outside doctor, probably because the cult doctor and leader were poisoning the members with sweet, undetectable antifreeze. See, people? This is why we need to add a bittering agent!  

When Cyndi warns Booth that Brennan is in danger, he finds her just in time to shoot the cult doctor, who was shredding medical files when Brennan arrived to question him, and attacked her with a scalpel. Angela locates the former cult leader, who's moved on to preying on the elderly. Though they aren't able to prove murder, Caroline arrests him for his many other lesser offenses, which add up to a lifetime behind bars. Huzzah, and on to the juicy stuff.

Booth and Brennan, in necessarily exhaustive detail:

Brennan is back after six weeks on a dig in Guatemala, and hasn't seen Booth since he got out of the hospital. In fact, she accidentally sits on him while he dozes on the couch in her office, eagerly awaiting her return (note: this is the first of many "awww" moments). Booth, happily, is back to normal -aside from his boring socks- and freshly cleared for duty. He's amnesia-free and everything! (Phew.)

Apparently, the alternate reality in his coma (and our unfortunate season finale) resulted from Brennan reading Booth her now-deleted book while he was out. When he woke up, he had trouble distinguishing the two realities and thought they were married in real life. I demand a flashback of this in a future episode, because it sounds like it has much potential for hilarity.

When Cyndi reads Booth's tarot cards, she tells him he didn't lose anything while in his coma, as he fears - rather, he gained something. And we're treated to a small smile. Hmmmm. And yet only a tantalizing taste of what's to come...

Booth takes Cam, whom he can "trust with certain things," out for a drink to talk to her about his coma dream - not to confess brain damage, as Cam guesses. Instead, he confesses that in the dream, his relationship with Bones was so real, and- "You're in love with Dr. Brennan," Cam interrupts. And there it is, folks. All out in the open and everything.

He doesn't deny it, even smiling a little, but wonders if he's the same guy. Cam suggests that he forget the brain injury and go with his heart. They agree that he should tell Brennan how he feels, but she has some words of caution: "Be sure about your feelings, because if you crack that shell and you change your mind, she'll die of loneliness before she'll ever trust anyone ever again." Truth, and Booth hears her. But dang, no pressure or anything...

Before Booth can screw up his courage for the big talk, Sweets confronts him on his post-coma feelings of love, pointing out that the areas of his brain that deal with love have been lit up like a Christmas tree since his operation, but not before - thus, the feelings aren't real. Shut up, Sweets! He also gives Booth the same warning Cam did. So...we're all operating here under the presumption that Booth didn't have any feelings for Brennan before the operation? I don't care what the brain scan says...I'm not buying it. (And neither does Cyndi, so THERE.)

Brennan, meanwhile, goes to see Cyndi because apparently she just can't get enough of visiting murder suspects alone late at night. But it's all good, Cyndi just psychoanalyzes her using the cards - apparently the one riddle Brennan can't solve is how somebody could love her. Brennan, hilariously, points out that she's very beautiful and intelligent, but Cyndi has another answer, one she claims Brennan is afraid to say out loud: "Yes, he knows the truth of [her], and he's dazzled by that truth." Brennan has a quick look of realization, and smiles slightly. You know, Brennan may not be as oblivious as I thought.

And OMG you guys, here it is. (Yes, OMG. Shut up. I'm excited.) As he's walking Brennan home, Booth says he's got something to say to her from inside his heart. Brennan, of course, points out that the heart is pretty much just good for pumping blood. Still, he insists that he's been wanting to say it since he got out of the coma, but wanted to make sure he was really back first.

Before he can say anything, though, a random clown comes up and squirts him in the face. Um...okay. Bones rightfully warns him against murder, given his violent history with clowns. Instead, he laughs and honks the clown's nose. So...maybe not so much with the being back, but Brennan says that he'll probably be back to his clown-hating self in a few weeks. Okay, I've just gotta quote now:

"What did you want to tell me?" -Bones

"That I love you." -Booth [sound of a million shippers squeeing] Bones looks at him wonderingly, but Booth can't wait for her to respond and cautiously continues, "...in a professional and 'attagirl' kind of way." [sound of a million shippers crying]

"...Attagirl kind of way?" -Brennan, not understanding. Booth nods. Brennan pauses, considers, and smiles. "Right back at you, Booth. I love you too! Attaboy." She playfully punches his arm, they smile, and are interrupted by Caroline. 

Well...hmm. On the one hand, he had the courage to say the words out loud, which was unexpected. On the other hand, he didn't have the courage to wait for her to process and respond. I blame Sweets. But hey, all the fun is in wishing for them to hook up, right? Those little shared moments become way less special when they're just everyday occurrences in a romantic relationship. Still, my heart (when it's not busy pumping blood, of course) is a bit disappointed. 

And to confirm that the status quo will stay as-is for now, Cyndi enlightens our heroes that they'll just keep doing things as usual. Booth is resigned to settle for second-best, but Cyndi says that it all works out eventually. Booth absorbs her prediction, and is surprised. Brennan, of course, has no clue what all works out eventually, but Booth smiles knowingly.

Odds and Ends:

• Booth unshaven in a t-shirt = [insert Homer Simpson drooling noise here]
• That was quite the awkward moment when Brennan's pregnancy in the alternate reality came up. I wonder if we'll return to that plotline?
• I'm not sure I believe that Sweets would give credence to a psychic, but I really love that he did. Even as an over-educated psychologist, he still has some of that childlike wonder about him.
• Two thumbs up to Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz. The subtlety of their facial expressions, the ability to keep it from descending into cheesiness or cliché, and in particular the scene where Booth held and comforted Brennan after she was stabbed were all really outstanding.
• We didn't have a NotZack this week, which was perfectly okay by me.

Favorite Quotes:

• "We're back!" -Booth, gleefully. "You're the one who told me never to look happy at a crime scene." -Brennan. He decides that they can look happy after catching the bad guy. 
• "What's that? A graph of Russian wheat production in 1955?" -Caroline, examining Hodgins' microspectrophotomatry scan
• "How are you feeling?" -Cyndi  "Well, they gave me medication, so I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel all the time." -Bones
• "Sometimes you lose one." -Caroline   "Well, what should we do? Kill him?" -Brennan, to Booth  "Still in earshot, cherie, still in earshot..." -Caroline

Lots to discuss, folks. Have at it! 

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