'America's Got Talent': I say 'boooo', AGT producers

Tonight on "America's Got Talent," the producers force Arcadian Broad into doing "High School Musical" and he has the balls to call them out on live TV. Excellent.

The 10 acts performing tonight are Acrodunk, Arcadian Broad, Drew Thomas Magic, Paradizo Dance, Grandma Lee, Fab Five, Kevin Skinner, Tony Hoard & Rory, Texas Tenors, and Voices of Glory. I like to make predictions, so before they even perform I think Acrodunk, Arcadian Broad, Drew Thomas and Fab Five should go through. I'm sure they won't because somebody like the Texas Tenors or Grandma Lee will sneak through, but I think those are the 4 best (before seeing them, of course).

Woo! Nick Cannon looking SHARP tonight. Did you guys read my interview with him? He was super-nice and really funny, I love it that he lived up to his on-stage persona.

1. Acrodunk
I think the gates to Hell itself just opened. What's with all the red? Tonight they have a new long trampoline, but they haven't really changed up their routine at all. Of course, just as I type that they add dancing, gymnastics and a flaming hoop. Okay, that's pretty sweet. Well done, fellas.

Piers says "absolutely unbelievable." Totally. They really stepped it up. Sharon says they made "the Harlem Globetrotters look like... forget it." Way to get your Paula on, Sharon. Try to complete the thought before you start speaking. The Hoff says they "rip-rocked into it." Whathoffever that means.

2. Texas Tenors
Tonight they perform "Unchained Melody," one of my very favorite songs. Now, the Ken Doll tenor starts off and he sounds very nice. However, Bearded tenor takes over and I really dislike his voice. Brawny Paper Towel tenor comes in with some harmony and he's good, but Bearded tenor is drowning out the others and he's not that good. Sorry guys, but he's not. The other two can obviously sing but these three do not blend AT ALL and their harmonies are not always on. They just aren't and if you think they are, I question your ear for music. Ken Doll should've auditioned as a solo because as a group this just isn't very good.

Sharon gets her cougar juice all over Ken Doll tenor, calling him "fantastic." He was very good, yes. But as a GROUP... no. Just no.They shouldn't have advanced last week. The Hoff says they are the frontrunner to win, which should not be true. Piers calls it cheesy, but says it was brilliant. Ugh. Everyone is drinking the Texas Tenor Kool-Aid and it makes me want to barf.

3. Paradizo Dance
I hate this act. It's not talent. It's her doing a few dance moves and then just lifting each other around and everyone acts so amazed because he's fat and she's skinny. Big whoop. These guys would get laughed off "So You Think You Can Dance." Also, big dumb oaf picked a curling iron by the hot side and burned his hand. Sigh. Can I fast forward through this?

Tonight they "dance" to "I'm a Believer" and it's mostly cheerleading stunts. For cryin' out loud. There's a stupid bit where she gets stuck in the... light fixture?I don't even know. Bzzzzz!

Sharon liked that it was upbeat and lighthearted but prefers the slow schmaltzy stuff. The Hoff agrees. Piers says they forgot their unique selling point, which is the girl lifting him. That's not MAGIC, Piers. Those moves are clunky and strained. Blech.

4. Drew Thomas Magic
This performance has a little girl theme where Drew makes a lemonade stand just like his daughter had and he starts by getting pretty girls out of various spaces while some cheesy Third-Eye-Blind-Matchbox-20-The-Calling song plays. Sigh. He gets buzzed and rightly so. This is lame. At the end he changes his three ladies into his daughter holding three dolls that look like the ladies and that was cute and all, but WAYYYYY too slow.

Piers hated it, citing the slow music and slow pacing. Yes. But he also makes Olivia the daughter cry. Geez Piers. Sharon says fabulous. In a great throwaway perv moment, Sharon says she's still wondering where the assistants are and The Hoff says from off-camera, "In my dressing room." Dude. The Hoff really liked the heart.

5. Tony & Rory
Hey look, another act that shouldn't be here.  I mean, Rory's an awesome dog but this act just isn't that great. It should be at a college basketball halftime, not on a Vegas stage. Tonight Rory catches most of the frisbees but gets a little confused at the end. However, I can hardly notice for being distracted by Tony's extremely shiny shirt. Is he going on a Single Seniors cruise after this?

Sharon loses her mind (of course) and says he didn't miss one (which is not true). She also addresses the man who laid Tony off because Tony wanted to come on the show and she says the Karma Truck will be parked outside that guy's house. HAHA! The Hoff says they are Vegas-worthy, which is not true. Piers says miles better than the last performance. Well, yeah... but that doesn't mean they should advance.

6. Voices of Glory
Tonight they perform "Anytime You Need a Friend" and the boys each have a solo at the beginning and both are pretty weak. Really Nadia is the only singer good enough to advance in this contest. She gets some counter-melody parts at the end that are just great. She's so cute, I just want to eat her up.

The Hoff says they could buy the world a Coke and teach everyone how to sing. Or something like that. Piers loves how they are polite, respectful and close as a family, which he likes to see in young people. He then calls Nadia "the diva" and says that tonight was the best she's done so far. He likens it to Janet Jackson coming out from her brothers' shadows. The older brother looks proud, the middle brother is going to kill her in her sleep tonight. Sharon says the next time we see them, it'll be the finals.

Ya know, if every group made the finals that the judges say are going to make the finals.. almost every act would be there. Seriously.

7. Fab Five
Tonight the FF are dressed as majorettes, very cute. They should've had Nick Cannon cameo as a drummer. They are very cute and very much in-sync. I enjoy this act. I do find it a little weird that two weeks in a row they've been covered from head to toe. I mean, I applaud that they aren't strippers but next week I want to see skirts. I think little flouncy skirts would be really adorable with their dancing.

Piers says we forget how difficult this act is and they do it incredibly well. He wants to see a change of pace, which is fair. Sharon loves the energy and quick footwork. The Hoff says they get better every time. Totally.

8. Grandma Lee
They show a family picture from when Grandma Lee was young and she was a hottie. Love her dark hair and fair skin. Tonight Granny gets a shot in at Piers and The Hoff that makes me giggle. Her erectile dysfunction joke falls flat. The Hoff acts like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. It's funny 'cause it's true, eh Hoff? She makes a Kevin Skinner joke that makes me giggle. Then there's a joke about deciding between pooing and having sex? I don't get that one. She also makes me think she's going to FLASH Piers, which would've gotten 10 votes from me, but instead she just takes off her pants to show off British flag boxers. Also what's with the ex-husband talk? Didn't her husband die in '95, per her pre-performance video? I missed something.

Sharon compliments her and says she has it happening. The Hoff loved her, Piers says she can get in his shorts any time. Her comedic timing really isn't that great, what are these people smoking?

9. Arcadian Broad
Tonight's pre-performance video theme is "Arcadian is Not Gay," as he talks about a girl he likes. Tonight he has a partner, which I think is a huge risk. I'm nervous for him! They are dressed like basketball players and cheerleaders and there isn't just a partner, there's a whole big group. It's all "High School Musical," blech. Arcadian does some nice solos, though. When he finally dances with the partner, it's a lot of lifts and not very much dancing and some of the lifts look shaky. There's also a moment where he just spins her around and it looks like maybe they missed a move in there somewhere? It's weird. I think he is immensely talented (he beats the hell out of Paradizo Dance) but I didn't love tonight's routine.

The Hoff says it was all terrific, Piers wonders if he's good enough for the finals and says that no, he isn't. Wow, I disagree. Tonight has not been as good as Piers thinks. Arcadian then says that he didn't want to do "High School Musical" and the producers MADE HIM. Man, that is so crappy and I applaud Arcadian for having the balls to say that. Sharon says it's a good thing it's up to America and not Piers. Nick Cannon comes back with, "The performers have the final say with what they perform." Wow, does that make them look even shadier. My boyfriend remarks, "Man, I'd pay good money to hear what was going on in Nick Cannon's ear piece when that kid said that." No kidding. BOOOOO, producers. BOOOOOOO.

10. Kevin Skinner
I really want to like Kevin Skinner, you guys. But I was completely underwhelmed by his last performance and I don't honestly think he should've advanced. Tonight he performs "Always on My Mind" by Willie Nelson and I don't enjoy it. He's got a really Willie-style voice without being so tinny, which is the only criticism I have for Willie Nelson so that's nice for Kevin. However, there are some bum notes, not going to lie. He's good, but his pitch is not perfect and before you go sending me nasty emails about nobody being perfect, on a show like this a singer should not HAVE any bum notes.

Piers says Kevin can move an audience in a way he's never seen before and that he's Piers' favorite to win. Sharon says he nailed it (not true) and compares him to Johnny Cash. I think she means his attitude, though, and not voice because... he sounds NOTHING like Cash. The Hoff says he's come so far and manages to also make it sound like they saw Kevin and almost ran screaming from the room. Jeezus, Hoff. Back-handed compliment in the dictionary? Hoff's picture.

Okay gang. Now that I've seen the performances... I think Acrodunk and Fab Five are really the only two who should sail through. The other two spots? I'd like to see Drew Thomas and Arcadian Broad get another chance but neither were that good tonight. However, I don't think Texas Tenors, Paradizo, Voices of Glory or Kevin Skinner are as good as the judges like to act. I don't know who's going to advance. Also, even though I didn't love Arcadian tonight, I think he is one of the most talented in the competition and Piers is high. I also think he wins the night for being outspoken about his artistic choices. You go, Arcadian!

Oh my god, tomorrow night the performers are: THE MUPPETS AND DAVID HASSELHOFF! It makes me wish I did drugs so I could drop some acid before the show. I'm giddy with anticipation.