'True Blood': Ain't no party like a vampire party

Tonight's "True Blood" proved that vampire parties really are the best kind of parties, featuring catfights, attempted murder, love triangles and enough other assorted drama to keep one suitably entertained. I guess no one throws down like the undead.

As true to the format of the show, we pick back up with Godric saving Sookie from Gable, killing him in the process. Soon after, Eric arrives and bows down before him. To say that I squeed a little bit when Eric and Godric first laid eyes on each other would be an understatement. Because I squeed a lot. (There's also a really bad "meet your maker" joke buried in here somewhere, but I'm going to spare you and not try too hard to find it.) Godric tells Eric to "save the human" (i.e. Sookie) and to spill no blood on their way out. Godric talks way more like a teenage boy than I think he should, but still. That was awesome!

Eric's plan to get them out? Act like a good old Southern boy and trick them into letting him out. Eric + a southern accent = high comedy. When that doesn't fully work, he just glamours one of the guards out of his stake and then fights his way out. He can't get past the angry mob outside, however, so when they try to escape through the sanctuary instead Reverend Newlin and his gang of Christan crusaders block their passage. After being strapped down with silver, Eric offers himself in exchange for Godric and Sookie's freedom. Just then, Bill charges in and Jason saves the day with a paintball gun. As Sookie is trying to convince Eric to let Reverend Newlin go, Stan and the rest of the Dallas vampires charge in with the intent to massacre everyone. Right before everyone is murdered, Godric steps in and offers a truce between the vampires and the Fellowship. When the Reverend won't accept, Godric gets the rest of the Fellowship members to admit they don't really want to die for their cause and everyone leaves under Godric's order.

Back at the slammin' celebration after party, we get some fine Bill/Sookie/Eric triangle action before Hugo is brought out to receive his punishment from Godric. It seems Godric has lost his taste for vengeance and lets Hugo go without any repercussions for his actions. Godric later explains to Eric that he doesn't blame the humans for being frightened of them, and he thinks they should treat humans as equals. Will this revelation be the ticket to Eric becoming more human sympathetic? And therefore more Sookie sympathetic? We shall see, we shall see.

Lorena then shows up at the party to introduce herself to Sookie and generally give Bill a hard time, because doing exactly what the object of your desire DOESN'T want you to do is a fine strategy for winning them back. Lorena needs to pick up some self-help books. This gets Sookie's back up, and she takes the opportunity to gloat about winning Bill and taunt Lorena into attacking her, apparently forgetting that vampires are murderers with superhuman strength who can drop you before you twitch an eyelid. Love will do crazy things to a girl. Just before Lorena can bite down, however, Godric stops her and orders her out of his district.

Bringing this rousing party to a likely early end, Luke shows up with a special message from Reverend Newlin: a bomb strapped to his chest, secured by silver chains. And then...the screen cuts to black. Oh, snap! Who will survive the explosion? I guess we'll find out next week...

Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps Sam is tricked into going to Merlotte's and finds Daphne in the walk-in with her heart ripped out of her chest. Looks like someone's getting set up for murder! This all happens, by the way, while Maryann is busy cooking up the fruits of Eggs' labor, a.k.a. Daphne's heart. Ew. And gross. And did I mention ew? The Sheriff questions Sam, and Andy barges in to defend Sam and says the "bull with the claws" killed Daphne, again telling the truth but seeming like a crazy person to the non-supernatural humans in the room. In a world where vampires exist, you'd think people would be more open minded! The Sheriff takes Sam off to jail to spend the night, where several of Maryann's revelers are already incarcerated for committing various unsavory acts while under the influence of maenad crazy. My favorite is Mike the dendrophiliac (thanks, Can't Hardly Wait!) who was arrested for sodomizing a pine tree. Hee. That sounds painful.

Eggs is upset and goes to Tara, explaining that he lost time again. Well Eggs, honey, you didn't lose that time so much as spend it in a maenad-induced killing trance. I'm just saying. Eggs is convinced he did something bad and Maryann suggests they ease up on the partying for a while. And...then she serves them Daphne's heart for dinner in a "Hunter's Souffle." You guys, the thing BLEEDS when they cut into it. Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross! Tara and Eggs to go town on the meal, once again under the influence of Maryann the insane. This can only end badly. And it does, with Tara and Eggs beating the crap out of each other for fun immediately after the meal, and then doing other things to each other for fun. Ah, Maryann. What are you up to?

Random thoughts:

• Loved Eric messing with Jason regarding them being "even" due to Jason's past V use and warning not to use it again. If you're going to be forced to be a very scary dude, might as well have some fun with it, right?
• How sad was it when Jessica realized she's technically going to be a "virgin" forever? Her character has really evolved into an interesting examination of what happens when someone is turned.
• Also hilarious was Jason's apology to Bill and subsequent hug. An awkward Bill/Jason friendship would be quite interesting, I think.

Favorite quotes:

• "God saved me. I'm saved!" - Jason
• "I don't know what you heard, but those were screams of pleasure." - Hoyt
• "I'm actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him, but I missed it." - Godric
• "That son of a bitch, it's like he sucked out my brain and planted all these little babies in there." - Jason
• "I reckon I've already been to heaven, and it was inside your wife." - Jason

Follow Zap2it on Twitter for all the latest TV, movie and celebrity news.

E-mail

• Digg
• Facebook
• Fark
• Yahoo Buzz
• Stumbleupon