'America's Got Talent': Recycled Percussion? I prefer Crucial Taunt

Tonight on "America's Got Talent," we have our last quarterfinal round. Bring on the Top 20!

The last group of quarter-finalists is up tonight. They are Ishaara, Coney Island Chris, Matt & Anthony, Pam Martin's Top Dogs, African High Flyers, Eric & Rickie, Eriam Sisters, Mia Boostrom, Recycled Percussion, Barbara Padilla and Wild Cards Drew Stevyns and the Lollipop Girls.

I haven't decided yet if this group is strong or not. I feel like it's more similar to week 1, where the acts pretty much ran the gamut (as opposed to week 2, which was really weak, or week 3, which was really strong).

Before we start, Nick asks The Hoff if he has anymore Hoff-isms for us and he goes, "Hoffviously, I feel great. I've had several cups of Hoffee. I live in the United States Hoff America. If the acts are Hoff-ful, I will buzz them Hoff, and I have one thing to say to them all: 'Mazel-Hoff.'" Heh. Okay, that made me giggle. I'm so easy.

1.  Ishaara
This is the Bollywood dance troupe. I'm a big fan, based on their first audition. Tonight the same blonde girl is the main focus of the female dancers, which seems counterintuitive to me, but she's very good, so that's fine. There's a romance storyline happening and the dance is fun to watch, but it doesn't WOW me. Also, I am struck by how much Blonde Dancer looks like Paris Hilton. Yikes.

Piers says it was a wonderful way to star the show, Sharon likes that they are exciting and different andThe Hoff says they are the best dance act on the show this year.

2. Barbara Padilla
This is the cancer-survivor-opera-singing-mom. She had to adopt her daughter because of the harsh chemo and radiation treatments rendered her unable to conceive. Well, short of her killing a kitten on stage with a hammer, she's through. Let's be honest. Regardless, she sings some opera song in a gorgeous blue goddess dress and it's ethereal and fabulous. I tried to Google the lyrics, I really did but I'm still not sure what the song is and I apologize. Either way, it's awesome. She really nails it. The judges give her a standing ovation.

Sharon says magnificent and perfect and breath-taking and she's star. The Hoff says she is exactly where she's supposed to be, wow. So beautiful, such a star, spiritually blessed with a beautiful voice. Totally. Piers says the show was created in the first place for people like Barbara.

3. Pam Martin's Top Dogs
So this is Viva's act from the audition round but now it's all about Pam Martin and her six dogs. This time she's with Spy, Viva's brother. Tonight they dance to "Do You Love Me," which is such a great song. Sharon is losing her mind at the judges' table. She loves dogs. I like dogs too, but I'm just a bit bored by this. I would've buzzed. If Piers can buzz three little girls, he can buzz this. C'mon Piers, help a sister out. 

The Hoff says she may not win but she certainly has a place in Las Vegas. Piers says he was absolutely certain he was going to buzz this act, but this dog was flawless. Well, yes. But boring.Sharon says "incredible."

4. African High Flyers
Tonight the AHF have on some snazzy orange outfits, I dig it. They do all manner of acrobatics and stunts, it is quite impressive. Piers buzzes them, which I do not understand. Then they bring out FIRE! Fire makes everything better. They don't really have an ending, per se, but it's good overall. Better than the dog act.

Piers says they didn't advance from the audition enough. Sharon says well done. The Hoff says he loved it, they definitely have a career in Vegas, but if they get voted back they have to step it up.

5. Mia Boostrom
Tonight Mia plays/sings "Hallelujah," the Shrek-West-Wing-Jason-Castro song. I'm sure you've heard it. It's beautiful. I don't love the "Phantom of the Opera" candelabras on the piano, it's too weird, but her singing/playing is good. When it gets to the big ending, she ditches the piano, which is unfortunate. She's not just a singing artist, she's a singer/pianist and when she gets up and starts really belting it, the song loses its vulnerability. Also, some weird backup dancers come out. Don't love that either.

Sharon says it was a huge song but she delivered with great emotion and loves her uniqueness. The Hoff says the whole presentation was classy. I don't necessarily agree with that, I thought the presentation was weird and on a song like that I wanted to see her be stripped down and vulnerable. Piers says it was not perfect and he doesn't rate her above Kevin Skinner, Lawrence Beaman or Barbara Padilla. Mia responds that she's different from them and I agree.  Lawrence, Mia and Barbara are very different singers and it's hard to compare. Besides, I think Mia's quarter-final performance was BETTER than Kevin Skinner's quarter-final performance. He really blew his wad in the auditions, in my humble opinion.

6. Eric & Rickie
Our resident pint-sized ballroom dancers are doing a Paso Doble tonight. Well, from what I know from watching "Dancing with the Stars" and "So You Think You Can Dance," this is HARD. Yikes. The kids say if they win the money, they're going to buy their parents new phones. Kids are so cute. They are all matador'd out tonight, very awesome costumes. This is not a Vegas act, but it's very cute and well done, considering the ages of the dancers.

The Hoff loved the choreography and attitude. Piers says, man to man, that Eric has become The Man, a matador chasing a bull. Heh heh. Sharon loved the drama of the piece. Honestly, I wouldn't vote for them to advance but they were very good.

7. Coney Island Chris
This is the guy who chews light bulbs and stuff. I don't find him that interesting, to be honest. Tonight he gets a little PeeWee Herman as he lights a torch from his tongue. Piers buzzes him. I agree. Also, he performs to "Great Balls of Fire." For all of you who don't get my humor, that's the song by the guy with the telethon for muscular dystrophy. Anyway, I don't know why this guy advanced in the first place. He sucks. 

The judges rake him over the coals, which may have actually been a better act for him to perform tonight.Sharon says she doesn't know how Chris got this far. Ummm... got a mirror, Sharon? The Hoff says that when Chris lit his butt on fire, that was "Hoff... can't say the last word." Am I the only one who didn't get that? What word did he mean?

8. Matt & Anthony
This guitar playing-tap dancing duo performs to "Think" by Aretha Franklin and it's not good. The singing isn't strong enough at all and the tap dancing... could use help from the guy who will hopefully be in the Top 20 for this fall's "So You Think You Can Dance." Evan's brother, that guy. The dancing gets better, actually, after I type that (of course) but by then it's too little, too late. I would've buzzed just like Piers did.

Sharon praises the tap (yes) but that the combo of the act doesn't work. The Hoff says it does work because his job is to be the Paula of the show and never say anything bad. Piers says it was obvious that the dancing was great but the singing was terrible. Very true.

9. The Lollipop Girls
Honestly, I do not even remember these ladies. I love that their song is "Big Spender," that's a great slinky song. Unfortunately, their dancing is lacking. It's more like they are mildly pretty and dressed sexy and are posing in time to the music. Even their posing is haphazard. BZZZZZ. Lil' Piers must be operating the buzzer this round because he doesn't buzz. Piers, you cut me deep.

Hoff makes a licking joke and says they were terrific. Piers asks Hoff if he wants some oxygen. Haha.Piers says he could watch that for a long time. I expect better from you, Piers. Sharon says Vegas for them, definitely. Hmph. Maybe at a place called "The Booby Trap."

10. Drew Stevyns
Well... isn't this guy yummy. I just want to eat him off a triscuit. Oh, like you weren't thinking it. He's a good-looking dude! Tonight he plays that "Grey's Anatomy" promo song "How to Save a Life." It's very good, I'm pleasantly surprised. This might be our second Wild Card to get through. Didn't one get through already? I'm pretty sure one did but which act it was escapes me right now. Anyway, Drew reminds me of a soap-opera-good-looking Eli from last year.

Piers says he's not the best singer in the competition (true) but he likes his desire and hunger. Also, for a cute guy with a guitar... he doesn't HAVE to be the best singer. Let's be honest. Sharon loved the song choice and emotion. The Hoff says great emotional job and "You had me at rehearsal." Heh heh.

11. Recycled Percussion
I love acts like this. A few years ago at the Iowa State Fair (our state fair is a GREAT state fair), two 11 year-old boys did an act like this and I just lost my mind. So entertaining. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see them go all "Miss Congeniality" and put paint on the stuff so that it splatters.

Anyway, they perform to "Ballroom Blitz," which is an awesome song but I wish it was the Crucial Taunt version. Unfortunately, the guys are just standing there beating on plastic tubs. There's music and many bright lights and the stage tips forward, which is cool, but I am underwhelmed. There are some sparks made on a metal drum, but the act is very stagnant. Boring. If they were REALLY clever they would've had a five-second break in the middle where they launched into "Dreamweaver." Also, did you know Mil-lee-wau-keh is Algonquin for "the good land?" Heh heh heh.

The judges go nuts. I don't get it. They didn't climb ladders or dance around or anything. They just sat there. I was totally bored. Am I wrong in this? Sharon says fantastic with great energy. Energy? What?The Hoff spazzes out about breaking things. HOFF SMASH! He's like a 5 year-old sometimes. Pierssays it was 20x better than the audition. Hmmm.

12. EriAm Sisters
I really liked these girls in the first round, I hope they do well. Tonight they have on cute satin track jackets and sing "Crazy in Love." Hmmm. Honestly, I think these girls can obviously sing but I think this song is too produced to lend itself to a live performance. Also, what's with the kids on tricycles? That is very unnecessary. The act was cute and I'd like to see them advance because I want to see them perform again, but I think they picked the wrong song this week.

The Hoff says their talent lies in their voices and they can lose the dancing. Yes. Piers says their dancing is "cheeky." So British! He calls them the next Destiny's Child. They very well could be, with a little polish and training. Sharon commends them for dancing and continuing to sing as well as they did. True.

I hate to take so many vocal acts but honestly... the 5 I would advance tonight are Mia Boostrom, Barbara Padilla, Drew Stevyns, Eriam Sisters and Ishaara. What do you guys think?

Also: I am interviewing Nick Cannon on Thursday, so if you have any questions for our new "America's Got Talent" host, please leave them in the comments.

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