'So You Think You Can Dance': Melissa and Ade... wow.

Tonight on "So You Think You Can Dance," Melissa and Ade make me cry. A lot. On to my laptop and everything.

I'll just get this out of the way right up front: I don't think Evan should be here anymore. He's adorable and I want to give him a lifesaver and put him in my pocket, but he should've gone home already. He cannot keep up with the other guys. If every number were a Gene Kelly son-and-dance, he'd be fine, but... it's not. So anyway, just know... I might judge him a little harsher because I think his cuteness has kept him in the competition and not his dancing ability.

Ellen DeGeneres is the guest judge tonight and she and Mia Michaels look like they grew up together in Brooklyn Heights. Mia enjoys a minuet, the Ballet Russes and crepes suzette. Ellen likes to rock 'n roll, a hot dog makes her lose control, what a wild duet. Also, Mary Murphy calls Nigel Lythgoe "English muffin" and I about wet myself. That is so delightful. My god, it's like I'm so excited to do "So You Think You Can Dance" that I'm just spewing out all my thoughts.

Group Dance, Travis Wahl, futuristic rave theme, "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne
First, I love the costumes and use of glowy stuff. It's very Blade Runner. They do a part where the lights go down and the stuff glows and I wish there had been more of that instead of just a couple seconds. Visually that would've been really awesome. Evan doesn't stick out as much as I expect him to, so good on him. Kayla reminds me of the replicant played by Joanna Cassidy SO MUCH. It's all very fun.

Nigel says he feels like a proud father because of Travis choregraphing. Awww. Ellen doesn't critique much but she's so funny and delightful that I don't care. Mary says "great" a lot. Mia is proud of Travis and Mia makes a date to wear the costumes with Ellen tomorrow night. Oh, please please please let that happen.

1. Evan & Janette, Sonja jazz routine, "Move" by CSS
This is very angry jazz routine and it's good for Janette, not as good for Evan. He's not bad, but his moves are very sunshiney. Does that make sense? He's not angry enough. Meanwhile, Janette is mesmerizing. I can't take my eyes off her and actually have to watch it back to have anything to say about Evan. I mean, for a girl who is like 4'10... have you seen her legs?!?

Nigel says he finally got more from Evan and that Janette was absolutely wonderful. Ellen says "hard-hitting, complex and full-bodied" then says that was her wine. Heh. Cheers, Ellen. Mary says a lot of fun and Mia says Evan took a big step tonight but she wants more and then says that Janette is her very favorite this season.

Kayla's solo, "The Moment I Said It" by Imogen Heap
There are great angles and extensions but there needs to be more substance, I think. She spent about 5 minutes yanking on her dress and I wanted to see some more actual dance moves.

2. Brandon & Jeanine, Hunter Johnson waltz, "May It Be" by Hayley Westenra
Oooh, I'm excited to see these two together! Jeanine gets to wear a gorgeous yellow dress and the beginning is very elegant, though not very waltzy. When they do finally start waltzing... I'm a little bored, not gonna lie. The music is like molasses. It's not because it's a slower dance because I've liked a lot of slower dances on this show, it's just sooooo sloooow. To the extreme. It just didn't wow me or give me goosebumps or anything. No chemistry. Hmm.

Nigel cites the difficulty level and that the music felt like pulling teeth and he is disappointed. Ellen's schtick finally wears thin when she gets her Paula Abdul on and just babbles for 30 seconds, then says "fantastic." Hmph. Mary says they were "respectable." Yikes. It's like they just won Miss Congeniality. Mia says, basically, that they needed to be grittier. No birds and bunnies. She wanted more space and breath and magic and got too many hiccups and stuck moments.

Jason's solo, "Slowdance on the Inside" by Taking Back Sunday
There's a lot of side-to-side leaping and arm waving at first, but at the end there are some excellent turns and leaps. Not bad as a solo, but I expect more from Ade and Brandon.

3. Ade & Melissa, Tony Meredith and Melanie Laptin cha-cha, "Yeah (Como Goza Mi Morena)" by Chino Espinoza Y
I love these two as a couple, I'm so glad they're back together. I find their cha-cha decent but I don't love it. Melissa gets some nifty stripper moves but overall they seem a little out-of-sync to me. The ending is hot and sassy and awesome, but until the ending I wasn't loving it.

Nigel says "pretty good" and "hot" but does have some good critique for them about pulling their faces and sizzling a little more. Ellen asks, "Are you two carpenters? Because you nailed it." Heeeee. Okay, I'm a schmuck for that. Mary says the technique wasn't great. Ade's butt was too high. Aww. He's got a bubble butt, he can't help it. Mia says it was Ade's worst performance so far and that Melissa did an excellent job breaking down her ballerina hip alignment for a cha-cha.

Janette's solo, "Seduces Me" by Celine Dion
First off, where did she get that dress because it's awesome. Secondly, I enjoy the solo even though it's unexpected from her. Slower and sexier than I expected.

4. Jason & Kayla, Tyce D'Orio Broadway, "Mr. Monotony" from Jerome Robbins Broadway
This is very kool-kat-jazzy-Broadway. Jerome Robbins is the original choregrapher of "West Side Story," just FYI. Kayla is delicious in this, great style and spins and lines. Jason keeps up with her but with his dark costume, I almost don't notice him. I wish he had been in something as shiny and gold as she was dressed in because when I watched it back, he did well too but she was so eye-catching that I didn't notice Jason the first time around.

Nigel says the style is timeless and that they were terrific. Ellen would like to invite them both over to her house later to hang some pictures... because they're both good nailers. Okay, not as good as last time, Ellen. C'mon, now. Mary loved their chemistry and flow. Mia loved the piece and her only criticism is Jason's upper body. She wants him more open. For Kayla, she says Kayla would take Broadway by storm if she sings and/or acts. Just Tony after Tony after Tony. Wow. That is some lavish praise (not ill-deserved either).

Ade's solo, "Hater" by various artists
Now THIS is a solo. There's style and cool moves and on one leap, I swear that leap would be over my head and I'm 6'0 in barefeet. Excellent.

Well, the first hour is over and if this were "American Idol" and I were Simon Cowell, I would declare Jason & Kayla the winners of the couples round and Ade leading for the solos, though as a night, I haven't been really wowed yet.

5. Evan & Janette, Tony and Melanie rumba, "Heartless" by Kris Allen
OMG, Kris Allen on SYTYCD. SQUEE! Where can I throw my panties? Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, this is the way you do a slow dance. Evan is actually sexy and I didn't think that was possible for a cute little muppet like him. Janette is, of course, awesome. They dance ten times taller than they are and I believe the chemistry 100%. There's a great move where he threads through her body/leg. I'm not explaining it well, but it was awesome. I don't, however,enjoy Evan's Dracula-disco-lace-onesie outfit.

Nigel says it is an exceptionally hard style to get votes but Janette had it down pat. He criticizes Evan's face, but I disagree and I'm not an Evan Lover. Ellen says she loves Evan's face and essence. Good for her for picking him up. Mary says "good job" but doesn't gush. Mia says that not everybody is the sexpot and we are all perfect the way God made us and what Evan brings to the stage is unique and we love it and that he was totally sexy.

Melissa's solo, "Heads Will Roll" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Her outfit is totally Baby learning the sexy dance to "Hungry Eyes" in Dirty Dancing. For a ballerina, this is awfully dirty and edgy, I like it. I really think Melissa is one of the best dancers and gets short shrift because she isn't as flashy as the other girls.

6. Brandon & Jeanine, Laurie Ann Gibson pop jazz, "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks
I think their costumes consist entirely of a pair of camo pants and electrical tape. However, the dancing is great. Very angry and combative and their in-sync parts are very together. THEN at the END! Oh goodness. They claw at each other and Brandon jumps up while Jeanine rolls under him. It's a lot happening very quickly but it's excellent! I can hardly type.

Nigel says this is what we should be seeing from the Top 8 and that it's about time tonight. Yes. Ellen says "unbelievable." Mary says strong, powerful, dynamic and then shrieks her fool head off. Mia praises Laurie Ann Gibson and then says the dancers were "inside of it." She then gushes over Brandon, which she should totally do after cutting him off at the knees during the Vegas round. Seriously, I love Mia Michaels but I wanted to beat her with a tube sock full of wood screws after that little stunt.

Evan's solo, "Old Devil Moon" by Jamie Cullum
I love this artist, by the way. Anyway, the solo is adorable Evan stuff. There' sa great side leap in the middle and a neat move where he grabs his hat off the ground. He's so old-school "Singing in the Rain" and I love it, but he just isn't on par with the other male dancers, in my opinion.

Jeanine's solo, "Let the Drummer Kick" by Citizen Cope
You know why I love Jeanine? Because she's an awesome dancer with some meat on her bones. The solo is good... but not as good as Jeanine has done in the past.

7. Ade & Melissa, Tyce D'Orio contemporary, "This Woman's Work" by Maxwell
The dance is about someone coping with breast cancer and it's vintage Ade & Melissa. Very strong, very emotional. Melissa has on this great head scarf and Ade is lifting her all over the stage. I actually get a little choked up and that may be the wine, but I'd like to think it's the dance. At the end, it's like she dies. Geez. It's like she dies but perhaps her pain is gone? I don't know. It's... there are a lot of emotions and I am crying.

Nigel says that is why he loves dance so much and gets choked up and says that Tyce should be nominated for an Emmy for this. He can't think of a better couple to have danced it than them. "Sensational" and "absolutely incredible" he says. Ellen says she feels privileged to have witnessed that. Awww, I'm glad she played that straight. Mary says it takes her back to a scary place and that it really was well done. There's not a dry eye in the house, y'al!  Mia is crying and says what an important piece of work. She's making me cry more! Geez Louise.

Brandon's solo, "Ain't Nothing Wrong with That" by Robert Randolph & the Family Band
Excellent, as usual. He's all over the stage, leaps and spins and twirls and an excellent splits from a leap. Oh my god, if Brandon can sing even a little, he should play Ritchie in "A Chorus Line." Seriously.

8. Jason & Kayla, Shane Sparks hip-hop, "They're Everywhere" by Izza Kizza
It's like a modern-day "Thriller." I really enjoy it, their stops and zombie-style are great. There's this excellent part in the middle where the song goes "click click click click" and Jason is moving Kayla without touching her. I'm not explaining it well, but it's cool. He also gets a cool little solo. Overall, very strong. It's too bad they had to go after Melissa & Ade because I just was not ready for happy/cool hip-hop. I just wanted to cry about cancer and stuff.

Nigel loves the Michael Jackson style, saying they've knocked it out of the park in the last half of the show. Ellen says "amazing." Mary says they really hit it. Mia says favorite Shane Sparks routine and that the dancers gave a great performance.

Oh man guys. Who should go home? As far as men, I think Evan is adorable and talented, but it's his time. For the women... I don't know! In my personal opinion, Janette, Melissa and Kayla should stick around but if Jeanine stayed, I really couldn't complain. They're all so good. Wow. See you back here tomorrow night for the 100th episode of "So You Think You Can Dance."

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