'Dance Your Ass Off' Premiere: Shaking off the pounds

Hey! You've got "The Biggest Loser" in my "Dancing With The Stars!" Yes, ladies & gents, it's the debut of "Dance Your Ass Off."

Host Marissa Jaret Winokur kicks the show off by tossing it to an intro package. The peeps arrive at their fancy apartment and we get to hear a little about each person and see how they react when they meet. It's all joy and hugs and happiness, though Karla gets automatic placement on the Stinkface List for essentially saying, "I know I'm overweight but some of these people are huge...why am I here? I'm not as big as that." It's not the sentiment, it's the way she said it.

In the house there are two giant food pantries: one says "Eat" and is full of fruit, veggies, and other healthy bits; the other says "Cheat" and is full of every awful, delicious thing you can imagine. They immediately crack into the "Cheat" pantry as a last hurrah.

When Marissa walks in, everyone loses their mind. After some hugs, she gives them a prelim pep talk and explains how the competition works. Each contestant will have a professional dance partner, help from lead choreographer Lisa Ligon, professional costume designers, and the benefit of a Health Dream Team (weight loss specialist Dr. Rob Huizenga, MD, nutritionist Meg Werner Moreta, MS RD, and trainer Lee Wall). They get their own private lofts, the gym is next door, and the rehearsal spaces are upstairs. That's a sweet set up. They'll work out twice a day and dance two hours a day. Whoever wins gets $100,000.

Back to present day, Marissa introduces the judges - Mayte Garcia (you may remember her from Prince's Symbol Album period), Lisa Ann Walter ("Shall We Dance," also does Ballroom competitions), and Danny Teeson (choreographed for Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Kylie Minogue) - who sit in a giant, stylized disco ball. The top half raises to reveal them and has lights. I kind of want one in my house.

The last two people to dance have had the least weight loss this week so they better bring it if they want to stick around. This is a freestyle round so there are no dance style restrictions. The way they do the scores is a little weird - they average out the judges scores and add them to the weight loss percentage. The contestant with the lowest score is eliminated. Also, all the songs are basically "with vocals" karoke tracks.

1. Alicia
Starting Stats: 5'4/257.6 pounds Partner/Song: Italo/Latin/"The Cup of Life" a la Ricky Martin
Alicia has really good stage presence and is busting out some impressive moves. She ends by going into the slow splits before hitting a pose. She had a lot of confidence and looked like she was having a lot fun. Mayte thought it was awesome, Lisa Ann gave a bonus point for the split, and Danny loved her energy but gave the tip to not lose focus and cheat her lines.
Score: 6.3 (6-7-6)
Weightloss: 2.91% (-7.5 lbs)
Total: 9.21

2. Rueben
Starting Stats: 6'0/314.3 pounds
Partner/Song: Hillary/"Believe" a la Cher
Rueben used to be a professional dancer years ago so there's high expectations for him. I love how over the top dramatic his is. It's very "Solid Gold"/"Girls Just Want To Have Fun"/Jazz Hands in a fantastic way. He finishes his lines really well and even did a double turn and a lift. I hope he stays in long enough to show what he can do once he's streamlined his body. Mayte loved his facial expressions but advises to work on his timing. Lisa Ann thinks Mayte's being a bit harder on him because he's a former pro. Danny, who Lisa Ann also thought was being harsh, thought he was too much in his head and not connecting with his body.
Score: 6 (6-7-5)
Weightloss: 4.42% (-13.9 lbs!)
Total: 10.42

3. Shayla
Starting Stats: 5'7/206.5 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Mario/Motown Review-like/"Proud Mary" a la Ike & Tina Turner
There's something about her I just really, really like. Not only does this girl have great stage presence, she's probably one of the better dancers. She's definitely an early favorite. Mayte gave her props for dancing in heels and said to be careful not to tense up in her turns. Lisa Ann loved the attitude. Danny said she moved great.
Score: 7 (7-7-7)
Weightloss: 2.37% (-4.9 lbs) - She was so excited to hear how much she lost. She's so adorable.
Total: 9.37

4. Warren
Starting Stats: /357.6 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Sara/Hip Hop-ish/"Jump Around" a la House of Pain
He's the heaviest of the contestants but still moves pretty darn well. He played the character right and they threw down the Running Man which is always appreciated. Mayte says he needs to connect with Sara more. Lisa Ann could tell he was concentrating really hard based on the faces he made. Danny gave props for not missing a beat in the routine.
Score: 5.3 (5-5-6)
Weightloss: 3.24% (-11.6 lbs)
Total: 8.54

5. Trice
Starting Stats: 5'3/274.9 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Jesus/Hip Hop/"Disturbia" a la Rihanna
You may remember her partner Jesus from season 3 of "So You Think You Can Dance." I'm happy to see him again. The thing I like about Trice is she attacks the moves. She's not always exact when she hits them but she's certainly not timid. Mayte thought it was really good but she needs to improve her posture, Lisa Ann wants to see more focused energy ("...as tight as your weave"), and Danny loves the attack but agrees with Lisa Ann.
Score: 6 (all 6's)
Weightloss: 4.15% (-11.4 lbs)
Total: 10.15

6. Angela
Starting Stats: 5'7/185.9 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Kenny/Jive-flavored/"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" a la Elvis Presley
She's very cute and really projected personality on stage but I think she was trying a little too hard. It wasn't the best choreography. Mayte says she needs to be more centered for balance, Lisa Ann thought she showed promise but needs to relax a bit, and Danny noticed she struggled a bit with keeping the beat.
Score: 5.3 (6-5-5)
Weightloss: 1.88% (-3.5 lbs)
Total: 7.18

7. Mara
Starting Stats: 5'2/261.9 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Paul/Hip Hop/"My Humps" a la Black Eyed Peas
Mara's up ther on my list of the best natural dancers list. I also think this had some of the best choreography of the night. She was pointing her toes, working the floor...it was really good. All the judges loved it, though Danny was most appreciative since she was a great performer and had really good technique.
Score: 7.3 (7-7-8)
Weightloss: 2.52% (-6.6 lbs)
Total: 9.82

8. Tara
Starting Stats: 5'8/237.4 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Michael/Hip Hop-ish/"Let It Rock" a la Kevin Rudolf
Ugh, I hate this song. Though Karaoke Track stylings oddly make it more palatable/ignorable. The choreography seemed kind of...rudimentary. I think it was because all of it was so on the beat. It wasn't a bad number per se, it just kind of fell flat. Tara had problems picking up the steps in rehearsal so that may have influenced it too much. Mayte noted that she needs to connect with Michael more, Lisa Ann says she needs to finish her lines and give it 100% all the time, and Danny thinks it's a good starting point but noticed she was wearing her emotions on her sleeve.
Score: 5.7 (6-5-6)
Weightloss: 1.9% (-4.5 lbs)
Total: 7.6

9. Karla
Starting Stats: 5'2/174.9 pounds
Partner/Style/Song:Jull/Hip Hop-ish/"Push It" a la Salt 'N Pepa
She's already on the Stinkface List and I really don't think that's going to change anytime soon. There's something off-putting to me about her energy. It's really good choreography and she performed it well, though her facial expressions are a little too big. She's over-selling it. I wonder if her comedy background is to blame? At any rate, she busted out The Worm which would be more impressive if she wasn't on The List. Mayte gave props for connecting with her partner, Lisa Ann enjoyed it, and Danny said it wasn't very technical but very entertaining.
Score: 7 (all 7's)
Weightloss: 5.53% (-9.5 lbs)
Total: 12.43

10. Miles
Starting Stats: 5'10/260.8 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Michelle/Swing/"Jump Jive N-Wail" a la The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Miles is super charismatic and had a great routine to work with. It was really fun and very good technically. Mayte loved the footwork and that he connected with his partner (she's really big on that if you haven't noticed), Lisa Ann thought he burned it up and could handle harder steps, and Danny loved the attack but he needs to not stare out the ground.
Score: 7.3 (7-8-7)
Weightloss: 2.65% (-6.9 lbs)
Total: 9.95

The Bottom Two
At this point, Angela has the lowest score but we won't know the judges scores until both Brandon and Pinky have danced.
1. Brandon
Starting Stats: 5'6/230.4 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Yesenia/Hip Hop/"Forever" a la Chris Brown
It's good choreography. Brandon is another one of those great natural dancers. The ernergy is good though I think I would've liked a little more from him. Just a smidge. Mayte thought he was good but wants him to attack a little more, Lisa Ann loved it and the energy, and Danny wants him to kick it up another gear and hopes he stays.
Weightloss: 1.56% (-3.6 lbs)

2. Pinky
Starting Stats: 5'3/186.9 pounds
Partner/Style/Song: Mr. Lucky/Hip Hop/"Just Dance" a la Lady Gaga
She's got a breaking background (her brothers have a crew she's never been able to really join) so she's definitely, in terms of Hip Hop, the best dancer. Also, this probably means it'll take her longer to ramp up her metabolism. She started a bit slow but hit the moves hard and gave good attitude. It was really good choreography. Definitely one of the best of the night. Mayte is being picky and says she wants her to hit harder, Lisa Ann dug it and agrees with Mayte, and Danny loved it.
Weightloss: 1.28% (-2.4 lbs)
Score: 7.3 (7-7-8)
Total: 8.58

Pinky got her scores first - they averaged 7.3 (7-7-8) which gave her a total of 8.58 and put her in eighth place making her safe from elimination. Brandon got a 6 from Mayte and a 7 from Lisa Ann leaving the decision essentially up to Danny. After saying he hopes whoever goes home can take this experience and make positive changes at home. He gives Brandon a 7, keeping him safe. He'd been crying through almost the whole thing.

A teary Angela is sad to leave saying she wanted to show people who she really was. After a hug from Marissa and a standing ovation from the audience, she makes her exit.

Next Week: The theme is Disco and we get our first freak-out and our first big injury. That didn't take very long did it?

I'm digging this show - what do you think? Did you have a favorite number? Do you think Karla deserves to be on the Stinkface List?