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RSS'America's Got Talent': Arcadian Broad knocks it out
Last night we had about five interesting acts in two hours of show. Let's hope tonight's "America's Got Talent" has a better percentage of good stuff.
We join Nick Cannon tonight in Seattle. Hopefully the people are more normal and less circus freaky.
Manuela Horn is our first act tonight. She is introduced to the strains of "Edelweiss," which is from Sound of Music, for those of you keeping score at home. She's definitely got the Maria Von Trapp thing going on.
Except she comes onstage in a black wig dressed like a dominatrix. Holy crap. She's 6'2 in her barefeet (tall girls represent!) but has on like 6 inch stillettos. Wowie zowie. She... yodels while being a German schoolmarm-slash-S&M-dominatrix. I am... I don't know what to say about this. As Nick Cannon says, it'd oddly entertaining. She would probably do quite well in Vegas, to be honest. Hasselhoff says yes because Germans love David Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff loves Germans. The other two put her through as well. Huh. Well, she was more entertaining than Bruce and Simone on the sex swing.
Good Montage. The Comic Bots, a giant robot band (they remind me of the blow ups from last year except robots); Tom Durnin, a dancing magician who is surprisingly funny and entertaining; and G-Force, a Sweet Valley Twins rock band (so cute!). When G-Force runs backstage after making it, two of the girls hug the parents and the third girl has no one to hug, so Nick Cannon says, "You can hug me!" and it's cute and not at all creepy, so good for Nick.
I think we have already out-stripped last night in seeing good acts and that isn't even adjusting for the air time difference.
We now have a singer named Rafael who caterwauls his way through "Last Dance." He would most definitely be one of the auditions Simon Cowell gets to say "Rubbish" to except I think Rafael is too old for Idol. He does hit the splits right at the end, which makes me cringe and I don't even have a penis.
Next are Erik and Rickie, 8 year-old ballroom dancers. Ricki says, "Sometimes he steps on my toes and I know he doesn't mean to do it but he does." In my head I go, "I don't mean to hit you, baby. You just make me so mad sometimes." They do the cutest ballroom dance to "Proud Mary." Seriously, it's great, especially considering their age. The judges put them through unanimously.
Welcome to Miami, bienvenido a Miami! We hit Miami, which ought to be fraught with nut bunnies to audition. Exxxcellent.
Jennifer Guadix is up first. She is dressed all in pink, this is her first time in front of a live audience and I'm honestly not sure if she's a girl or a guy. She smells a little drag-queen-y to me. Her act involves some pretty mediocre dance moves, then she can't get her shoe off, then she... releases her twin from a suitcase? It's terrible, they're like Hispanic versions of the Romanian Space Hookers from last year. Now weirdly, the guys put the RSH through last year but these two get the boot.
Drew the Illusionist is up now. He has a beautiful young wife and a toddler. His wife was his assistant until she got pregnant, so this is now her debut back in the act. He keeps putting tarps over weird little pulsing bodies that come out of a seemingly empty box and then he disappears into the box and reappears under the tarp that contains his wife (there are two other girls under the other two tarps). The judges love him and tell him he has a serious chance of winning it all. I completely agree, that was good.
Alizma is next. They are basically the singing, violin-playing Dahm Triplets. Their act name comes from their first names of Alexandra, Izabelle and Manika and they're from Poland. They do "Devil Went Down to Georgia" and it's fantastic (the violins, not the vocals). Several of my friends can play this on their violins and I can assure you, it's as hard as it looks. The only criticism is that it's hard to hear them over the accompanying music in the background. I'd love to hear them just play, no accompaniment. Piers tells them the singing isn't good enough but the violin playing is excellent. The judges put them through but caution them to just play the violins.
Our next act is dancer Jennifer James. She comes out dressed like a showgirl and calls herself Nubian Beauty. She does African Bohemian Dance. Hmmm. Jennifer is too heavy to be wearing a show girl outfit. I'm sorry, but there it is. Also, what's a Nubian? When she actually starts "dancing," she just wriggles around on the stage. Next!
Bad Montage. Various sea creatures, like the blowups from last year on except more Tim Burton-y; a guy in drag who dances with puppets that are attached to him by sticks (terrifying); OHMYGODCLOWNS (more terrifying); and a guy who balances tupperware on his body parts.
The night ends with 13 year-old Arcadian Broad. What an excellent Dickensian name. He's this year's Flaming Baton Twirler. Arcadian dances amazingly to "I'm Still Standing." He does a... quintuple turn? It could be more than 5 rotations. His leaps are incredible. If he doesn't win this show, I hope SYTYCD is still around in 5 years. The judges love him, he's through unanimously. Excellent. You go, Billy Elliot!
Alright guys, tune in here next week for more auditions. I wonder when we'll get our very own Susan Boyle?
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
To be completely honest, none of the acts wowed me in this episode. I've seen very young dance couples and hot string instrument groups many times, and neither Erik & Rickie nor Alizma were among the best.
Arcadian and Drew were the best, of course, but even they could have been better. Drew's final piece of the trick was easily telegraphed, and Arcadian had a few frenetic moments.
Maybe I'm just in a grumpy mood.
Do you really need to make a point about "what's a Nubian?" when google is just a click away? By the way, this season's AGT is full of Nubian-types.
Maybe you should use Google. It's from "Chasing Amy."
"What's a nubian?" is a Chasing Amy reference, I ***ume. Silly new generation not getting Kevin Smith allusions.
Broad was awesome. He could do for ballet what they claimed Boyd would do for opera, except that a non-singing act can't win.
I Loved Arcadian Broad's Dancing! It was amazing. It was perfect.
Arcadian Broad was great. I wonder did he try out for "Billy Elliot:The Musical"?
The girls in pink needed more practice for their routine. When you can't get out of your costume smoothly, there is trouble.
It was funny that the judges buzzed the clowns the minute they came onstage. At least after they buzzed the Elvis impersonator last year, they let him sing before re-affirming their votes.
Nubia is the homeland of Africa's earliest black civilization with a history which can be traced from 2000 B.C. onward through Nubian monuments and artifacts, as well as written records from Egypt and Rome. In antiquity, Nubia was a land of great natural wealth, of gold mines, ebony, ivory and incense which was always prized by her neighbors.
By the way the song they played after Arcadian's act was from Billy Elliot the Musical. I agree with Tyler that Drew's act was predictable and Arcadian was franctic but I did like both acts, along with the triplets (minus the singing) and the yodeling domantrix.
We are friends of Arcadian and he was the best no doubt about it1!!!!!! He did try out for Billy Elliot and was one of the top 5 people in the running! great job!
I hope the camera work on this show gets better. I could hardly got to see more than a couple secs of Arcadian Broad's dance routine because the camera kept cutting away every other second to show the crowd's reaction, the judges' reactions and then the mom and sister's reactions.