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RSS'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Education comes first. Except when it doesn't.
Last week, the Real Housewives of New Jersey started off with phone sex, strip clubs a mother could be proud of and Danielle hauling out enough crazy to attempt to crash a girls night she wasn't invited to with a salon ambush. This week? Bathroom sex, over indulged kids and the continent of Canada.
Teresa takes her girls shopping, which is a horror show as at they run amok, whine and scream "Mommy! I WANT THIS"! And Teresa buys it all to the tune of over a grand. During the shopping binge, she gets a phone call from little Gia's agent. She has an audition to be in a film with The Rock, so Teresa decides maybe she needs some acting lessons. Gee, you think? Also, I cannot help but laugh a bit at at the house she's building. It's more than over the top. It's homicidal monkey in a room full of bananas, armed with an uzi, out of control.
Jacqueline takes her need to please everyone to new heights by throwing her 6 year old a birthday party that includes pony rides, a petting zoo, a bounce house, giant slide, carnival games, clowns, stilt walkers, prizes, and lord only knows what else. He's 6. Toss him and his friends in a pool with some Batman figures. They'll be fine. He teenage daughter, Ashley, tries to take over the party, but Danielle takes over first and steps into the "I'm the mommy, that's why" role without even being related to anyone there. Which is creepy.On a more somber note, we also find out that Jacqueline has had 4 miscarriages in the last few years. Which is horrible and I'm sorry she's gone through that. I'm also sorry that she has to endure Dina's bossiness, but more on that later.
Caroline would have seemed better suited to take Ashley in hand, but apparently she doesn't have her own daughter Lauren in hand. She graduated from high school two years ago and since then has apparently didn't a whole lot of....forgetting everything she learned in high school. Unless Canada become its own continent, that is. Caroline wants to push her into beauty school, but Lauren whines that it will hurt her hands. Her brothers push for them to buy her a salon, but her father reasons that she's got some common sense, but he wouldn't call her "smart". Thanks, dad!
Danielle brings a little crazy out by telling us about her instant connection with Jacqueline and how she got off on the wrong foot with Dina but that she thinks they will be best friends eventually. At CJs party, she makes a beeline for Dina and attacks her with multiple hugs, repeatedly telling her that she's sorry, she looks gorgeous and asking if she can borrow her boobs. It's a little Single White Female, frankly.
Which is nowhere near as awkward and inappropriate as her date with Steve, about 20 years her junior (for real). It's not the age difference that is strange, it's her conviction that he's into her for her youth and then her attempt to slut up the evening by suggesting they sneak into the bathroom at the restaurant for a quickie. She's all class! I am sure that scene will be all the rage at the school her girls go to. Way to go, mom!
Dina spends most of the end of the episode hogging all the screen time with a charity even called Project Ladybug, which raises money for cancer patients. Which is more than a worthy cause, of course. Yet, I never understand why the people who chair these events get their panties in a twist over the tiniest details. Like not having exactly the person she wants standing in a specific spot to sell tickets. Everyone complains about her being in "bitch mode", yet no one says a thing to her about calming the heck down, so I don;t feel a bit sorry for any of them.
Is Danielle obsessed with Dina or is it just a means for her to keep Jacqueline under her thumb? Is Teresa's house French chalet or nouveau riche trash? Is a fundraiser featuring "everything from scrap booking to botox" your personal nightmare too?
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Zap2it Twitter Talk 
You cannot cl*** up stupid people and these wives are stupid people.
Ooh, and they all think they are so beautiful with their over the top plastic surgery.
Dumbest housewives show yet!!!
There's no way that guy that Danielle went out with is 26. He looks so much older!
i was (technically still am, but i no longer go to HS having graduated four years ago) in the same school district as the people on this show. don't be fooled by the two manzo children; it's an incredibly demanding and competitive district. when i graduated, 98% of my cl*** either moved onto a four year college (myself included) or a community college. but honestly, that the Manzo parents aren't more demanding and are aware of their kids' academic weaknesses is kind of refreshing for this area. not everyone is college material, but around here it's usually expected you go to college, and sometimes expected you go to a college that does not suit you and your academic ability, but you go to it because it's a "top school" and looks good. and i found caroline encouraging of lauren, don't just become a beautician, eventually open a salon, look at the big picture--caroline told her. she clearly thinks her children have potential, just not necessarily in traditional areas.
Danielle I think you are so full of yourself. You think you look so young...You look like a fool..You are so full of plastic you look like a possum, Your boyfriend is so ugly well he fits you, I like all the other girls but you are just crazy and all you do is talk crap nobody is jealous of you... YOu are a horrible mother to your girls dont you see how they act they are embarr***ed by you I think you need a reality check and need to change your personality....YOU LOOK LIKE A POSTER CHILD FOR PLASTIC SURGERY AND ALL YOU DO IS Embarr*** yourself at your own party FOR REAL GET OVER YOUR SELF YOU LOOK LIKE A Freak LOOK at your pictures n there are no words for you you are physco