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RSS'Desperate Housewives': Jackson's back, and he's got a small favor to ask
On Desperate Housewives, it seems food and sex are legal tender. Food, sex, and slumber party invitations. Though the substance of the episode was largely forgettable, there were several laugh out loud (and "ew "out loud) moments, and the Dave plot is still thankfully lumbering toward its conclusion.
Lynette and Tom, it seems, have made a pact to do it every day for a month. You know, for the sake of their marriage. Dear Lynette: Having sex while your friends play poker downstairs is not cool. Also not cool? This:
Bottom line, Tom is feeling a little unfulfilled with no job and no crazy dream to focus on, be it a vintage car, a pizza place, or a band. Might I suggest a private investigation business? You'd make a mint on Wisteria Lane...
Bree doesn't want to share her business with Orson in the divorce, so she tries to hire the sharkiest divorce lawyer in town: Karl. Before he'll take her on as a client, Karl asks Bree to get his son Evan into MJ's sleepover - his feelings are hurt at being left out, but MJ doesn't want him there because he's a bully. MJ: "He hit me with a dead squirrel." Bree: "Now MJ, we can find faults with all our friends if we nitpick." Ha! Once Karl takes her on, Bree agrees to lie, cheat, and steal her way to a beneficial settlement. And then goes home and agrees to sex Orson up in exchange for breakfast in the morning. This episode made me feel dirty, you guys.
In a plot that was a bit too Full House for my liking, Juanita tries to copy Gaby's model days by wearing makeup, so Carlos makes Gaby attend a fancy dinner barefaced to show that beauty is on the inside. (Or rather, "barefaced," because no one looks that good without any makeup on, right? ...Right???) Cue Gaby telling everyone, "I'm not ill, I'm just not wearing any makeup," and then stealing a lady's makeup in the bathroom in order to pose for a photo. She and Juanita have a lovely chat afterwards about self-esteem and being a grownup and yawn...since when does Gaby channel Danny Tanner?
Jackson is back, and he wants Susan to marry him. FOR THE RECORD: When he popped the question, I actually said out loud, "Is this for a visa? Is he Canadian? There's no other possible reason he'd want to marry Susan, right?" Susan freaks out and cries, telling him how much she's missed him and how she still loves him. And yup, it totally IS for a visa, because Jackson IS Canadian. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. (Note: I laughed anyway.) After later claiming that she was just feeling lonely, Susan agrees to help. No love, no sex, just marriage. Ha. Jackson: "No sex?" Susan: "You want people to think this is a real marriage, don't you?" And this is gonna be bitter for Katherine, since after a little pressure Mike admitted that he doesn't see himself getting married again.
Dave offers to take MJ and Susan fishing at some child-killing lake. Before they can go, the cops track Dave down with questions about Dr. Heller, whom they've finally identified as the fire's victim. They mention that they're looking for Jackson as an additional witness. And Susan has to cancel the fishing trip because she's getting married...to Jackson. Hmm. I don't see this ending well for our Canadian friend.
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OMG!!! please don't say that...I love our Canadian friend! now I am gonna worry.
Wow. Usually this close to a finale the show should be starting to get intense but this was a total yawnfest...again! There's not a single storyline to get emotionally caught up in.
It seems pretty obvious that Jackson will get killed off saving Susan from Dave (since tabloids are reporting he is getting killed off). Does anyone really care about Dave's storyline anymore?
Lynette has become the dullest of all characters although Katherine and Mike are close to winning that title too.
Bree's heading for divorce court... Whoopee.
I won't bother watching next week. Time for some new writers to come in and shake things up.
The entire episode sounds predictable. No surprises there. Just lame, lame, lame. You know what made it unpredictable and not lame? Edie.
I had a feeling Jackson would die, and I didn't even read any spoilers beforehand
I was so wrapped up in Susan's little "I love you speech", tears were forming in my eyes. Then Jackson just shuts her down, I busted out laughing, lol.
Yeah, but I agree with the person a few posts ahead of me. This episode was not intense at all
What a boring episode. I'm scared for the future of Desperate Housewives. How is this show so successful with this many problems this season? That really irritates me. All the people over there at ABC/Desperate Housewives cares about are ratings. They don't care about the many people telling them how bad this season has been.
all you idiots who think this season hasnt been good are, well stupid!
this season has been structured well and has been the best i think since season 1
now sit down shut up and help get the show back to 15 million viewers instead of moaning!
phew lol :)
I agree with you all. I miss Eddie. She was always good for a laugh. Tonights show was quite booring. Marc Cherry made a mistake killing Eddie. At the time of her death she truely was a desperate housewife and very beautiful and vivacious. Now what we have left are the Desperate Boring Housewives and the Glamour left with Eddie.
This episode exhibited some very lazy and cliched writing. The whole segment with Gaby and her daughter seemed like some lame after school special from 35 years ago. Did they really need to waste all that time on that perky little lesson about self-esteem geared to little girls, who ***umedly shouldn't be watching the show? Tom and Lynette's segment was (very) slightly more grown up, but also treading over worn ground-even within the show they've already dealt with their tired sex life. Susan and Jackson's segment just seemed like a contrived plot device to get Gale Howard back into the show and stir up sexual tension between Susan and him again. Mike and Katherine's story line was just hokey and boring, although probably the most serious one. Dave was just annoying; I mean hasn't everyone figured out there is something wrong with the guy by now? And how long does it take him to finish his drawn-out revenge plot. I get the fact that he was mistaken about Mike driving the car, but couldn't the writers have had him find this out about 5 episodes ago? I'm so tired of him, he needs to go! Bree and Orson's plot line was just stupid and simply seemed like an excuse to give Carl some screen time as Bree's divorce attorney. It doesn't even make sense, hiding ***ets only works if your spouse doesn't know what you own. Bree's business is no secret. Unless Bree is planning on transferring ac***ulated company profits to a Swiss bank account before filing for divorce (and even that seems unlikely to work), her scheming with Carl just seems stupid. Actually, the whole episode was stupid--and boring!
Couldn't have said it better than what Chris had written. We actually started to flip channels over to Celebrity Apprentice because DH was so bad.
I wonder if it was because they had to do a rewrite fast to accomodate Edie's departure and Jackson's return.
At this point of the season people should be hating Dave and really anticipating what he is plotting. Frankly, does anyone care what he does or what happens to the guy? Didn't think so...
"Child-killing lake" I am not a twisted person but the way you wrote that was just funny to me because I thought it was laughable how he came up with the latest way to kill Susan and M.J.. Oh let me just look through me newspaper and find the latest way people kill other people. I mean come on Dave, it seems like you are channeling a little bit of Jason V. these days.
All around I thought this episode was entertaining and very funny with a few of the one liners that you have so nicely put in your review. But, all the big reveals like how Mike does not want to get married, Bree's a bad person, or Tom is having the 50th mid-life crisis in his one life were not suprising. I did like Gabby's no makeup storyline and Susan confessing her love to Jackson but come on how Desperate can this housewife be that she can't stay single for more than a few months. She should spend this time writing another childrens book or doing charity work or something. STOP MAKING SUSAN SO DESPERATE, IT IS BEGININNG TO BECOME TOO SAD TO WATCH.
Favorite Moment: I love the scene where Jackson proposed to Susan and she went into the bathroom and said how much she loved him only to find out that he needs a visa.
Worst Moment: I hated the scene at the end when Jackson stopped by her house and Susan accepted his proposal. TOO DESPERATE.