'Dancing With the Stars': Melissa Rycroft is Back with a Vengeance

Last week on "Dancing With the Stars," Melissa was saved by the fans even though she was hurt and they could only broadcast her rehearsal. How is she feeling this week? Will she survive? I'm very excited to get to recap a performance show, so read on to find out how everyone did.

There is a terrific group dance by the pros before we get started. It's all ballroom and the girls all have on sexy red dresses. Woo woo. We also find out the dancers are doing solos tonight! Wow, that is tough.

Our rundown by Len Goodman calls Melissa "The Girl Next Door," Gilles "Mr. Versatility," Lil Kim "The Queen Bee," Shawn "The Young Gun" and Ty "King of the Cowboys." I smell the next X-Men movie!

Ballroom Round
1. Shawn/Mark, Quick-Step, "Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me" from Aladdin
The choregraphy is super-cute, with air-trombones and lots of jazz hands. To my untrained eye, Shawn seems to be keeping up with Mark. If I were judging, I'd give it a solid 9. She seemed to enjoy it and I thought it was quite good.
Judges: Len thought we finally saw her personality but has a criticism with their hold being broken in the middle of the dance. Bruno calls her Sporty Spice. Or perhaps Spunky Spice. Could go either way. Carrie Ann says it was her best dance ever.
Scores: 9 from Carrie Ann, 9 from Len and 9 from Bruno for a 27

2. Ty/Chelsie, Argentinian Tango, some sexy Latin song (is there any other kind?)
Apparently, Ty practices at home in a leopard-print robe. Hmmm. The dance is very sexy but I keep getting distracted by Chelsie's legs and hips. Tango just isn't a guy-focus dance, at least not when Ty dances it. He has a few footing slip-ups, but does some nice lifts. It's overall a little stiff for me, I'd give it a 7.5.
Judges: Bruno likes his determination and calls him a Power Ranger. Wow, a Spice Girl and a Power Ranger. Bruno, please come back from 1996. Carrie Ann commends him for how far he has come (read: it's time for you to go). Len thought he captured the flavor and essence of the dance. Huh. I didn't see that.
Scores: Carrie Ann gives him an 8, Len gives him a 9 and Bruno gives him an 8 for a 25.

3. Lil' Kim/Derek, Waltz, "When I Need You" by Rod Stewart
Does Derek remind anybody else of Chris Lowell? Anyway, the dance is very fluid and pretty, but I wish Lil' Kim was a lil' taller. Her lines just aren't quite right for this dance. It's still beautiful, particularly a lovely twirl right in the middle. I'd give that an 8.
Judges: Carrie Ann cites Kim's littleness and how she needs to make things bigger, Len agrees but says the quality was still better than he was expecting (nice back-handed compliment, Len), Bruno says she tried to be a lady but she's more comfortable being a tramp. Geez! He's looking for a smack upside the head and I'm not kidding. What a thing to say!
Scores: Carrie Ann gives her an 8, Len gives her a 9 and Bruno gives her an 8 for a 25.

4. Gilles/Cheryl, Foxtrot, "Fever" by Peggy Lee
His video of training reminds me a little of the "don't put your heel down" segment of Dirty Dancing. When do Cheryl and Gilles get all sexy to "Hungry Eyes?" Gilles gets to dress retro for another week and he looks phenomenal. The dance is uber-sexy with a lot of Cheryl being tossed around and slinking on Gilles' body. Very nice, but a titch boring for me. I'd give it an 8.5.
Judges: Len says very musical but he didn't straighten his legs enough, Bruno says in a class of its own, and Carrie Ann says he is sailing to the semi-finals.
Scores: Carrie Ann gives him a 10, Len gives him a 9 and Bruno gives him a 10 for a 29. See, this is why I'm not a ballroom dancing judge.

Video interlude of Kenny Mayne getting makeup for DanceCenter. I love Kenny Mayne, he's one of my favorite SportsCenter guys, even if he can't dance his way out of a paper bag.

5. Melissa/Tony, Viennese Waltz, "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan
Speaking of Melissa, get excited for Jillian's Bachelorette in two weeks! Anyway, this is a great dance for Melissa. It's like if they took Lil' Kim and stretched her out, Melissa is all long lines and grace. She really does look like an angel in her gauzy white dress. There is a gorgeous twirl right at the end. Beautiful job, 9.5 from me (I'm stingy with my 10s).
Judges: Bruno calls her ethereal, beautiful, romantic. Carrie Ann loved her grace and fluidity but wanted more torque of the upper body. Len loved the romance, musicality and extension though still not a fan of her feet.
Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, Bruno 9 for a 27.

There's an interlude about the pro competitors vying for a spot having to teach a dance to a past DWTS competitor. Lisa Rinna shakes her boobs at us, which is a little scary. There is then a group Latin dance by the pros before we kick off the Latin Round, where each star is dancing a solo of at least 15 seconds. Yikes!

Latin Round
1. Shawn/Mark, Paso Doble, "Gotta Get Through This" by Daniel Bedingfield
Her solo at the beginning is very dramatic, I like it. There's a great leap in the middle, it's awesome to have a gymnast in this competition who can do stuff like that. It ends with a very cool spin with Shawn on the floor. I give it a 10, best of the night so far.
Judges: Carrie Ann says she nailed it, Len loved the turns, the solo and the footwork but says it wasn't over-exciting. Bruno says she's got the killer instinct and calls her a guided missile.
Scores: Carrie Ann gives her a 10, Len gives her a 9 and Bruno gives her a 10 for 29 total.

2. Ty/Chelsie, Rumba, "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty
I hate the song choice. I love this song, but for the rumba? Just... no. Ty is adorable and tries really hard, but I just think it's time for him to go. His smile looks fixed and strained, and he just doesn't have the chops. Ty's solo is stilted and awkward, he looks like he's trying to give his wife a lap dance. I give it a 7. I'm not getting down on Ty, he tries really hard, but he's overmatched by the other competitors now.
Judges: Len liked the charm but thought he looked uncomfortable. Bruno calls him "likeable," (but there's a reason pageant girls don't want to get "Miss Congeniality") and says that he is out of his league at this point. Carrie Ann agrees and wishes she could score him based on improvement.
Scores: straight 7s from the judges for a 21

3. Lil' Kim/Derek, Salsa, a spicy little Latin number
Man, Lil' Kim is all boobs and booty, isn't she? Wooo, boy. Now, whereas the waltz did not suit Lil' Kim's teeny frame, the Salsa is perfect. She gets a little lost at one point and her solo loses the beat just a smidge, but they recover nicely. It was good but didn't blow me away. I give it an 8.5.
Judges: Bruno shouts some Dead or Alive at us and then Tom makes a veiled masturbation joke. Carrie Ann liked her booty but says the solo was a little flailing. Len talks about spotted dick and custard, totally creeping out us non-Brits, and says that she lost a little control in spots.
Scores: 9 from Carrie Ann, 9 from Len and 9 from Bruno for a 27.

4. Gilles/Cheryl, Rumba, "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye
Gilles solo is borderline pornographic, but I mean that in a totally good way. Actually, the entire dance is, well, let's just say I'm glad they broadcast it at 9:45 pm/8:45 central rather than at the top of the show.  I think my panties just burst into flames. I give it a 9. It's not a 10 because his solo seemed shorter than 15 seconds.
Judges: Carrie Ann says it was very hot but she found the solo over-the-top. Len says fantastic but also didn't love the solo or the rolling-across-the-floor part. His old-man heart couldn't take it, I bet. Bruno likens it to "Showgirls" but says it ended up "Ravaged by the Savage" and something about penicillin. Umm, okay. Dancing with the Stars: come for the dancing, stay for the STDs?
Scores: 9s across the board for a 27

5. Melissa/Tony, Samba, a great upbeat Latin number
Melissa looks smashing in that color blue, just bee tee dub. She's like Princess Leia in the blue bikini. Her solo is fantastic, lots of great hip action with a fluffy skirt to accentuate her moves. Oh man, this is a great dance for Melissa. There is lots of shimmying and quick footwork and she looks fantastic. I give it a 10, I really enjoyed it. There appears to be a boob-flashing costume malfunction but the camera misses it. Thank goodness because Janet's malfunction is back in court, Melissa.
Judges: Len says she should be here next work, Bruno says she has everything anyone could want, Carrie Ann calls it flawless and Melissa's jaw about hits the floor. YES!
Scores: straight 10s from the judges for a 30!!!

Leaderboard
Melissa:  57
Shawn: 56
Gilles: 56
Lil' Kim: 52
Ty: 46

Recap: Shawn jazz handing and being an angry bull, Ty wiggling like an adorable puppy who isn't quite there, Lil Kim getting a hard dance for her and being just a titch out of control, Gilles getting his sexiness all over everything, and Melissa making me wonder which one is the pro and which one is the celebrity in her couple.

The judges' scores are exactly right. Melissa, Shawn and Gilles are in a league of their own with Lil' Kim nipping at their heels. With the right dances, she's in the hunt with them. Ty is great but it's just time to go. It would be a crime if he advances at the expense of one of these other really talented celebrities.

E-mail

• Digg
• Facebook
• Fark
• Yahoo Buzz
• Stumbleupon